If…[theatrical_muse]
If…
If I hadn’t left Willow that night after the Tabula Rasa spell I think that I would have lost myself in the mix of trying to save her, protect Dawn and help Buffy. I’m not sure when everyone started to turn to me for help or comfort but I’m ok with it, it was a new feeling and it made me finally realize that I was part of their group. I was family.
But I had to go, I needed to for my own self preservation.
I’m aware of how selfish it sounds, but growing up I didn’t know who I was, I don’t remember ever trying to find myself. I always had mamma to help me with that and…selfishly I always thought she’d be there for me. I know better now.
Mamma always told me to stand up for myself, to find myself. But it was hard to do that when I never saw it, I don’t remember her ever trying to pack our bags and leave when Daddy was on a fishing or hunting trip with Donnie. She never stood up for herself and maybe that is why it’s taken me so long to do it on my own.
But I did it and as hard as it was to do, I don’t regret it.
Selfishness aside, if I hadn’t stood up to my father I wouldn’t have been in Sunnydale and I wouldn’t have the amazing group of misfits that have become an amazing family.
My family.
Character: Tara Maclay
Fandom: BtVS
Word Count: 251
If I hadn’t left Willow that night after the Tabula Rasa spell I think that I would have lost myself in the mix of trying to save her, protect Dawn and help Buffy. I’m not sure when everyone started to turn to me for help or comfort but I’m ok with it, it was a new feeling and it made me finally realize that I was part of their group. I was family.
But I had to go, I needed to for my own self preservation.
I’m aware of how selfish it sounds, but growing up I didn’t know who I was, I don’t remember ever trying to find myself. I always had mamma to help me with that and…selfishly I always thought she’d be there for me. I know better now.
Mamma always told me to stand up for myself, to find myself. But it was hard to do that when I never saw it, I don’t remember her ever trying to pack our bags and leave when Daddy was on a fishing or hunting trip with Donnie. She never stood up for herself and maybe that is why it’s taken me so long to do it on my own.
But I did it and as hard as it was to do, I don’t regret it.
Selfishness aside, if I hadn’t stood up to my father I wouldn’t have been in Sunnydale and I wouldn’t have the amazing group of misfits that have become an amazing family.
My family.
Character: Tara Maclay
Fandom: BtVS
Word Count: 251