Oct 27, 2011 16:23
mad world,
character: mercedes jones,
character: burt hummel,
character: carole hudson,
character: finn hudson,
character: blaine anderson,
glee fic,
characters: whole glee club,
character: kurt hummel,
characters: the hudson-hummel family
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One remark I do believe to be objective: At the end, when everyone leaves, Mercedes stays and witnesses that entire moment between Kurt and Burt. She's pretty much irrelevant in the scene. The conversation is between the two men only. Kurt's asked her to stay, but he doesn't draw comfort from her except for one brief moment of hand-holding (her initiative, not his). She has a lot of feelings and thoughts, but they're all voiced by Burt, not her. And I'm thankful for that. I mean, it's a beautiful, beautiful father/son moment, I was terrified that she'd ruin it by speaking out of turn or interfering in any way. (Irony of ironies: she spent the chapter trying to be THE ONE for Kurt, and when she finally has the chance to speak her mind, she lets someone else do it.) Mercedes felt wrong being there witnessing such a personal moment, and to be honest, I felt that wrongness too, very deeply. Except that she needed to be there for one very pragmatic (and artificial) reason: she held the pov.
I honestly feel that specific moment - given what is discussed, the dynamic between the characters, the feelings both of them are revealing -- would have worked so much better if told from Burt's pov. But for that you'd have to change pov mid-chapter, which would jar with the overall structure of the story. A writer's conundrum. (And unfortunately, when I identified that problem, I started thinking about the scene in terms of a writer's perspective, imagining ways to solve/avoid that kind of problem, and I basically forgot to enjoy the scene as a reader.)
On a different note, I've been rewatching S1, so I got a kick out of seeing Langenthal ("Preggers") and of Sue describing Emma as a ginger bushbaby ("Vitamin D"). BTW, your Sue-voice is absolutely P-E-R-F-E-C-T. I could actually hear her. (And it was scary.)
Anyway, that's it. I really hope I haven't offended you or anything. Like I said, I'm sure most of my lack of enthusiasm is probably result of silly reader's entitlement from my part.
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Mercedes' mother was, understandably I think, putting her daughter first; however much she feels awful for Kurt, Mercedes' pain is her priority, the same way Kurt's problems are Burt's. But I'm sure later on, behind-the-scenes, there's discussions on how much is too much for Kurt.
"But a sad lesson for her is that she can't make up for everything she didn't do before by being everything he needs now. She's not, she can't be, and she's going to smother him if she tries. (Apparently, thankfully, she's realized that by the end of the chapter.)" That's it. Exactly. God, that's so damn perfect. You've just figured out/summed up her motivations for me, and I am so giving you full credit :D
"I honestly feel that specific moment - given what is discussed, the dynamic between the characters, the feelings both of them are revealing -- would have worked so much better if told from Burt's pov. But for that you'd have to change pov mid-chapter, which would jar with the overall structure of the story. A writer's conundrum." This. So much this. You have no idea how long I struggled with that. Don't worry about being distracted by it in terms of writing - I'm guilty of that too when reading stories at times :) But yes, I had the thought of switching POVs, but I very much did not want to disrupt my 'one POV per chapter' flow. I sacrificed emotional poignancy for the sake of maintaing story structure. I'm considering writing a one-shot extra of that scene from Burt's POV as a sort of random bonus thing, if that makes sense, in order to come to terms with my decision. *sigh* And thank you, by the way, for this: "She has a lot of feelings and thoughts, but they're all voiced by Burt, not her. And I'm thankful for that. I mean, it's a beautiful, beautiful father/son moment, I was terrified that she'd ruin it by speaking out of turn or interfering in any way. (Irony of ironies: she spent the chapter trying to be THE ONE for Kurt, and when she finally has the chance to speak her mind, she lets someone else do it.)" Wonderful observations, and a wonderful compliment too. *blushes* I can't put into words my admiration for you :)
"BTW, your Sue-voice is absolutely P-E-R-F-E-C-T. I could actually hear her. (And it was scary.)" There was dancing to this comment. Sue Sylvester is one scary mother-effer to write. Her and Brittany are the most challenging characters to me, because they are SO defined, hilarious, at times insanely witty/evil (uh, the evil would be Sue, of course :D), and require a talent I honestly believe I don't possess. THANK YOU.
SO, SO MUCH LOVE AND THANKS in general for this. Everyone feel's a degree of reader's entitlement, myself included - that you gave me this insanely detailed and yes, quite objective commentary despite it, is a degree of amazing I've rarely encountered :D
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