(no subject)
I was just looking, and it seems that I only posted on here three times in total last year. I'm not sure if that makes me realize that I should just walk away from it completely since I don't really use it, or decide to post much more often. It somehow makes me feel as if I want to do both.
I'm not here much because nothing ever changes. I'm still at the same job. I still want to do the same things, which I never really will. I still haven't accomplished any of the things I set out to do last year. What is there really to say?
We still haven't moved into our new home yet. It has been more than three months since we bought it and we just don't have it ready yet. Our main obstacles are the dogs and chickens. Today we spent way too much money on what will hopefully be a solution to both of those issues. It would be nice to be at the new place in the next month.
Recently we attended a conference for small farmers in our state. It was pretty good. There were some great speakers, and a fair amount of not so great. It was nice meeting others and just being around everyone with the same goals. It felt really motivating. Everyone there is so established in what they are doing. Part of me felt like we didn't belong, being such beginners and all.I felt like an imposter among them. Hopefully we can keep this motivation we are feeling and put it into some kind of action. Next year I will feel better there.
Yesterday an old friend on mine came up as a suggestion for a person I may know on social media. I was kind of excited to see that they had finally joined the platform. Then I saw all of the mutual friends we had in common. Gave me pause to see that, but no request for us to connect. I know that I am being ridiculous, but I can't help but feel just a tiny bit of hurt or forgotten about. It goes back to feeling like you just don't mean as much to others as they mean to you. I suppose I need to learn to ignore it, not taking it so personally. I wish moving on were easier.
Everything seems hard to move on from recently. I dwell on these past relationships of friends that don't exist anymore. I think a lot about a family member that passed last year. I worry a lot for the family member that remains. I have so much I want to do and know the direction I want to go, but things just feel too heavy to get there sometimes. Whether it is thoughts, work, debt, whatever- maybe it is just easier to stay that do anything because at least you know exactly what you have. That just happens to be nothing. We are so close to having a lot. I just wish the line to cross to get there was thinner.
I'm not here much because nothing ever changes. I'm still at the same job. I still want to do the same things, which I never really will. I still haven't accomplished any of the things I set out to do last year. What is there really to say?
We still haven't moved into our new home yet. It has been more than three months since we bought it and we just don't have it ready yet. Our main obstacles are the dogs and chickens. Today we spent way too much money on what will hopefully be a solution to both of those issues. It would be nice to be at the new place in the next month.
Recently we attended a conference for small farmers in our state. It was pretty good. There were some great speakers, and a fair amount of not so great. It was nice meeting others and just being around everyone with the same goals. It felt really motivating. Everyone there is so established in what they are doing. Part of me felt like we didn't belong, being such beginners and all.I felt like an imposter among them. Hopefully we can keep this motivation we are feeling and put it into some kind of action. Next year I will feel better there.
Yesterday an old friend on mine came up as a suggestion for a person I may know on social media. I was kind of excited to see that they had finally joined the platform. Then I saw all of the mutual friends we had in common. Gave me pause to see that, but no request for us to connect. I know that I am being ridiculous, but I can't help but feel just a tiny bit of hurt or forgotten about. It goes back to feeling like you just don't mean as much to others as they mean to you. I suppose I need to learn to ignore it, not taking it so personally. I wish moving on were easier.
Everything seems hard to move on from recently. I dwell on these past relationships of friends that don't exist anymore. I think a lot about a family member that passed last year. I worry a lot for the family member that remains. I have so much I want to do and know the direction I want to go, but things just feel too heavy to get there sometimes. Whether it is thoughts, work, debt, whatever- maybe it is just easier to stay that do anything because at least you know exactly what you have. That just happens to be nothing. We are so close to having a lot. I just wish the line to cross to get there was thinner.