Subconscious is a funny thing
Last night I dreamed of Travis. Wild, huh? He was the last thing I was expecting, even in a dream. Could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw him. I was back at Rice and heading to my car in West Lot, and Travis was parked next to me, and he was sitting on the ground between our two cars, waiting for me. He had come to tell me that he had been in love with me all this time and wanted to know if I still loved him and could we be together now. As for what I told him, well, I'll leave it at I don't remember. Dreams are such ephemeral things. But anyway, how crazy is that? I haven't thought of Travis in...a long time. Makes me wonder what connections my sleeping mind was pulling together from my waking thoughts to serve me up a dream based entirely around him. My mother always said Dean reminded her a lot of Travis, but privately I have thought (and had confirmed by this dream) that Chris was more like him. Dean had Travis's humor, to be sure (but better, I think), but there are so many little things about Chris that remind me of the same things in this boy I was in love with half a world ago. And for those of you who know who Travis is, har fucking har, I don't mean that like you're snickering about. I just mean things like the way he moves sometimes, some mannerisms. Which is also odd because at times Chris reminds me distressingly of Wayne, which is something I've never really liked to think about. And those two, Travis and Wayne, are about as different as two people can be. So an odd mix. But anyway. People are who they are, right? Dean always used to mock me for how everybody reminded me of someone else and he never agreed with my assessments so maybe it's all in my head. It's just so nuts that I would have such a vivid dream about Travis after all this time.
Today I got my business cards, wooo! Imma be gettin me some free lunches now, just you wait. Not like I'll have much else to do with them, it's not like I meet clients at all and I'm certainly not one of those obnoxious networky people who hand their business cards out to everybody they shake hands with. Two years of working with Larry cured me of that urge, thank you very much. It's nice, though, to see the concrete validation that yes, I work here; yes, I am a professional. Sometimes it still just feels like I'm playing dress-up and sooner or later someone's gonna notice that I'm wearing my Mama's clothes. Or if not that, at least that my shirts are all the same. I should really do something about that.
I should have been in bed almost an hour ago. Think I'll go get on that now. Who knows what dreams may come?
Today I got my business cards, wooo! Imma be gettin me some free lunches now, just you wait. Not like I'll have much else to do with them, it's not like I meet clients at all and I'm certainly not one of those obnoxious networky people who hand their business cards out to everybody they shake hands with. Two years of working with Larry cured me of that urge, thank you very much. It's nice, though, to see the concrete validation that yes, I work here; yes, I am a professional. Sometimes it still just feels like I'm playing dress-up and sooner or later someone's gonna notice that I'm wearing my Mama's clothes. Or if not that, at least that my shirts are all the same. I should really do something about that.
I should have been in bed almost an hour ago. Think I'll go get on that now. Who knows what dreams may come?