Stories about pirates that closely resemble snow white.

[mystockings]

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I don't know if I like the fact that I joined in on the national celebration of weed. It's fun sometimes but I always end up feeling like the people I always hated. The lame stoners who would just sit around wasting their life away so they could be high all of the time. I know I'm not a stoner and I don't really know any "stoners" so I mean it's not like I'm surrounded by this constant drug party but I know the feeling I use to have when I was around stuff like that with Melissa and Annie. Two relationships that fucked me up big time. Oh and just so you know everybody I a babysitting for my mom while she takes matthew to court so I didn't skip group to join in on the 4/20 fun. That happened during school.Why do I hate myself. I vaguely remember eating 2 pieces of pepperoni pizza. I only eat chicken now so that was dissapointing. I also got a frappachino(sp.?). I also ate a lot of pita and hummus. I also ate a rhubarb muffin thingy. Why why why?WHY?WHY WHYWHY!!!!???? My mom's copy of The South Beach Diet got here today. I told her I would do it with her but I would rather not eat as much as they say in their plans. I never have dessert after lunch.I'm sorry for all the people whos lives I hurt by engaging in unproper eating habits. The truth is when it comes to hurting myself I'm selfish and I can't stop because someone asked me or someone is dying inside. I wish I could make you guys happy, but I want to make myself happy first and that means slimming down. I know my life won't magically become happy if I lose all this weight but I will be one step closer. No ones likes to comment on these entries. They never know what to say. Isn't it kind of funny that i could write "ohhh piccies of me and a baby rodent playing chess" and everyone would comment. But when I write something like "i am feeling down and hate myself" no one says anything to me except maybe sorry. But what I'd really like is for everyone to tell me exactly how this entry made them feel. My grandparents are coming tomorrow and I'm waiting for my Michelle Tea book to get here. No updates on the lip piercing,mom hasn't confirmed her answer.

I love you all.
<3 Cat The Cupcake <3