Seeing 2010 off~
So to reflect over the last post I put on LJ (June’s ’10 entry), it seems even though I’ve been writing more than I post online (mainly to those close to me in form of email novellas), my reports to the general public seem to be on a bi-annual basis. >.>
Well those on Facebook or Twitter can gain a better sense of how well I’ve been, I guess (or haven’t been, depending on how you look at it).
So June’s keyword for me was "changes".
This time: New chapters and bittersweet.
It does sound almost the same as ‘changes’ but in this sense I’m seeing it in a different light. Things can change for anyone, but not many mark a ‘brand new chapter’ of their lifespan as a human being and 2010 probably has seen a record breaking number of friends and acquaintances open their own new chapters.
Before I continue, you’re probably wondering or frowning at why I mentioned ‘bittersweet’ as a keyword of mine for 2010, that’s because it’s one of the most poignant emotions I’ve felt throughout the year. I’ve felt it to myself for every supposedly happy moment that I’ve gained that was marred by too much misery before and after it and I’ve felt it for the news I’ve heard from others around me.
Most people say you’re only as old as you feel and I believe and live by it for most part, but what 2010 taught me is that one realises their true age by the activities in the lives of those around them and who they know.
You realise it based on the life events that frequently occur around the age one just happens to be at.
So having turned into the ‘late-twenties’ realm a few months ago, what have I been exposed to that has put me in my place concerning my age?
Well, I mentioned ‘record breaking’ numbers right?
Let’s see… from June’s entry;
6 people who have moved home with their partners or moving country or into their own places as individuals, each opening a major new chapter in their lives and facing new challenges.
New chapters into the unknown, here’s the rest of that list:
2010 saw a record breaking number of weddings, in December alone, I gained news of 3 proposals, 1 of which turned marriage within 2 months, 1 of which I was physically present for, a first time experience that. On FB alone, you guys all must have totalled about 5 ceremonies. The pictures were lovely to see, so thanks for those.
And then the next stage, if it’s not getting new house pets or moving in with your husbands, wives or fiancées, it’s getting pregnant and having kids, yep. 2010 saw 2 first-time pregnancies (that I’m aware of anyways) and 1 first-time birth, the others will naturally follow next year all being well.
We’re already in the age of setting up our lives to create future offspring and to add a new generation to our family trees, well technically by most of the world’s standards, late-twenties is well late anyways. *laughs*
But yeah… once that sinks in, it does sober up a person real fast. Many, many fast changes and brand new chapters opening up for everyone all over, that it’s a bit of a whirlwind. :)
Hence the bittersweet.
Along with the sobering comes the thing we should not do but I’m sure we’ll all guilty of with some point of our lives (and if you don’t, then you are very blessed) but that is to compare and contrast with your own lives. Whatever aspect of our lives that we compare to others with, in this world there is always someone better, faster, richer, stronger, luckier or happier than you. What we fail to remember though is that there is also someone more worse off, slower, poorer, weaker, unluckier or more miserable than you, so one can never truly place themselves at a precise scale of how good or bad they’ve got things, since to each person, what is considered valuable differs.
Even if I mentally know this (my head) it still felt and still feels terribly bittersweet.
Hanging out with the few Westerners that hopped over to Japan for me to be able to spend a few precious hours with each time, was bittersweet the moment it was over. (But naturally one of my highlights of 2010).
Being able to finally go back to the UK after 2 years only to be rushing about and ‘restocking’, actually working in the library again for a day and sorting out legalities here and there was bittersweet. Similar to the friends that I hung out with in Japan, I could only briefly hang out with those who I care about deeply for a few weeks if not days or mere hours.
I then came to realise that when one lives alone, thousands of miles away knowing that each day is a day of shared memories lost, it kinda sets one on edge since none of us know when our time will be up and we ship outta here. One becomes very aware of their mortality.
(Well I was brought up in a culture that kinda reminds you every Saturday, lol.) I’ve never been to a wedding but I’ve lost count to the amount of funerals I’ve been to especially as a kid. :\
And now live in a country that reminds me once a month or so and we got people walking round going:
Natives: You know… Tokyo’s been well overdue for a major one for quite some time now…
Me: Yeah… and let it stay overdue and stop tempting it, thanks. -.-;
In case you’ve never quite fully noticed or realised, yes, this would be my Ghanaian (non-Western) side kicking in here. Death is very much a part of life, something I fear but respect at the same time and am fairly open and comfortable about it. But seeing the West’s (and perhaps some of you reading this) attitude to it (keep it hush-hush), I’ll cap it here before you think I’m contemplating suicide or dying or something. >.>
To being it back to the main point, being aware of my mortality often means as a result, I try to firmly etch each moment, even before I meet any of you lot into my mind and take what I get.
No, it’s not being lonely per se, since most of 2010 hasn’t given me time to breathe, let alone time to be lonely, heh.
Consider it a unique perspective from someone who cut most of their physical ties and is out there, trying to make it on her own in a land so very distant and far from what she knows and grew up with. ^^
But yes, it’s all tinged with a bittersweet edge, lemon would be the flavour if I had to choose. It can taste nice with the right amount but it always carries a little sting underneath it. It makes me wonder if 2011 will just continue to be the same. I’d like to say that my NY’s resolution would be to actually be able to enjoy life, doing what I want and engaging in it to the max, but short of winning the lottery, I’ve a feeling I’ll be working and studying to live, not living to work and study.
Ah well, as always and perhaps the reason why I’m still alive is for you guys to keep your well wishing and prayers or chants (or whatever rocks your boat).
Let a girl hear them and I’ll keep trying my best as long as my heart beats. ^^
Lastly to finish off, I mentioned in my previous June post that it seems misfortune comes in threes, as in 2006 was horrible and so was 2009 for most of us (including myself) and so 2012 truly marks the end of the world, lol.
Since we still got one more year, let’s make the most of it. ^_~
From lil ‘ol me, I wish you the best in the new chapters of your lives that a good majority of you have entered into this year.
I wish you well in being able to open the new chapters that you want and so passionately desire (if all goes well, there are two more weddings that I wanna see happen in 2011, dammit! *tantrum*)
And most importantly, I wish you well with your health, physically, emotionally and mentally, for without that, we cannot move, we cannot live and our time stops.
Happy New Year, let’s meet again somewhere in 2011
(2nd) Edits as the new year passes:
Since I wasn't updated until the 1st after sending well wishes, it seems the proposal count rises to 4 and pregnancies to 3.
This occured in 2010, so it's still part of that number, anymore updates will make its way here~
Well those on Facebook or Twitter can gain a better sense of how well I’ve been, I guess (or haven’t been, depending on how you look at it).
So June’s keyword for me was "changes".
This time: New chapters and bittersweet.
It does sound almost the same as ‘changes’ but in this sense I’m seeing it in a different light. Things can change for anyone, but not many mark a ‘brand new chapter’ of their lifespan as a human being and 2010 probably has seen a record breaking number of friends and acquaintances open their own new chapters.
Before I continue, you’re probably wondering or frowning at why I mentioned ‘bittersweet’ as a keyword of mine for 2010, that’s because it’s one of the most poignant emotions I’ve felt throughout the year. I’ve felt it to myself for every supposedly happy moment that I’ve gained that was marred by too much misery before and after it and I’ve felt it for the news I’ve heard from others around me.
Most people say you’re only as old as you feel and I believe and live by it for most part, but what 2010 taught me is that one realises their true age by the activities in the lives of those around them and who they know.
You realise it based on the life events that frequently occur around the age one just happens to be at.
So having turned into the ‘late-twenties’ realm a few months ago, what have I been exposed to that has put me in my place concerning my age?
Well, I mentioned ‘record breaking’ numbers right?
Let’s see… from June’s entry;
6 people who have moved home with their partners or moving country or into their own places as individuals, each opening a major new chapter in their lives and facing new challenges.
New chapters into the unknown, here’s the rest of that list:
2010 saw a record breaking number of weddings, in December alone, I gained news of 3 proposals, 1 of which turned marriage within 2 months, 1 of which I was physically present for, a first time experience that. On FB alone, you guys all must have totalled about 5 ceremonies. The pictures were lovely to see, so thanks for those.
And then the next stage, if it’s not getting new house pets or moving in with your husbands, wives or fiancées, it’s getting pregnant and having kids, yep. 2010 saw 2 first-time pregnancies (that I’m aware of anyways) and 1 first-time birth, the others will naturally follow next year all being well.
We’re already in the age of setting up our lives to create future offspring and to add a new generation to our family trees, well technically by most of the world’s standards, late-twenties is well late anyways. *laughs*
But yeah… once that sinks in, it does sober up a person real fast. Many, many fast changes and brand new chapters opening up for everyone all over, that it’s a bit of a whirlwind. :)
Hence the bittersweet.
Along with the sobering comes the thing we should not do but I’m sure we’ll all guilty of with some point of our lives (and if you don’t, then you are very blessed) but that is to compare and contrast with your own lives. Whatever aspect of our lives that we compare to others with, in this world there is always someone better, faster, richer, stronger, luckier or happier than you. What we fail to remember though is that there is also someone more worse off, slower, poorer, weaker, unluckier or more miserable than you, so one can never truly place themselves at a precise scale of how good or bad they’ve got things, since to each person, what is considered valuable differs.
Even if I mentally know this (my head) it still felt and still feels terribly bittersweet.
Hanging out with the few Westerners that hopped over to Japan for me to be able to spend a few precious hours with each time, was bittersweet the moment it was over. (But naturally one of my highlights of 2010).
Being able to finally go back to the UK after 2 years only to be rushing about and ‘restocking’, actually working in the library again for a day and sorting out legalities here and there was bittersweet. Similar to the friends that I hung out with in Japan, I could only briefly hang out with those who I care about deeply for a few weeks if not days or mere hours.
I then came to realise that when one lives alone, thousands of miles away knowing that each day is a day of shared memories lost, it kinda sets one on edge since none of us know when our time will be up and we ship outta here. One becomes very aware of their mortality.
(Well I was brought up in a culture that kinda reminds you every Saturday, lol.) I’ve never been to a wedding but I’ve lost count to the amount of funerals I’ve been to especially as a kid. :\
And now live in a country that reminds me once a month or so and we got people walking round going:
Natives: You know… Tokyo’s been well overdue for a major one for quite some time now…
Me: Yeah… and let it stay overdue and stop tempting it, thanks. -.-;
In case you’ve never quite fully noticed or realised, yes, this would be my Ghanaian (non-Western) side kicking in here. Death is very much a part of life, something I fear but respect at the same time and am fairly open and comfortable about it. But seeing the West’s (and perhaps some of you reading this) attitude to it (keep it hush-hush), I’ll cap it here before you think I’m contemplating suicide or dying or something. >.>
To being it back to the main point, being aware of my mortality often means as a result, I try to firmly etch each moment, even before I meet any of you lot into my mind and take what I get.
No, it’s not being lonely per se, since most of 2010 hasn’t given me time to breathe, let alone time to be lonely, heh.
Consider it a unique perspective from someone who cut most of their physical ties and is out there, trying to make it on her own in a land so very distant and far from what she knows and grew up with. ^^
But yes, it’s all tinged with a bittersweet edge, lemon would be the flavour if I had to choose. It can taste nice with the right amount but it always carries a little sting underneath it. It makes me wonder if 2011 will just continue to be the same. I’d like to say that my NY’s resolution would be to actually be able to enjoy life, doing what I want and engaging in it to the max, but short of winning the lottery, I’ve a feeling I’ll be working and studying to live, not living to work and study.
Ah well, as always and perhaps the reason why I’m still alive is for you guys to keep your well wishing and prayers or chants (or whatever rocks your boat).
Let a girl hear them and I’ll keep trying my best as long as my heart beats. ^^
Lastly to finish off, I mentioned in my previous June post that it seems misfortune comes in threes, as in 2006 was horrible and so was 2009 for most of us (including myself) and so 2012 truly marks the end of the world, lol.
Since we still got one more year, let’s make the most of it. ^_~
From lil ‘ol me, I wish you the best in the new chapters of your lives that a good majority of you have entered into this year.
I wish you well in being able to open the new chapters that you want and so passionately desire (if all goes well, there are two more weddings that I wanna see happen in 2011, dammit! *tantrum*)
And most importantly, I wish you well with your health, physically, emotionally and mentally, for without that, we cannot move, we cannot live and our time stops.
Happy New Year, let’s meet again somewhere in 2011
(2nd) Edits as the new year passes:
Since I wasn't updated until the 1st after sending well wishes, it seems the proposal count rises to 4 and pregnancies to 3.
This occured in 2010, so it's still part of that number, anymore updates will make its way here~