lol all i gotta say
This was written by a guy who has had years of experience.
1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house [without notice]...they run around in their underwear just like we do.
(well if they are in a relationship they should be open enough so honestly if my girl comes over and im naked or she is, neither of us care haha. gotta b comfortable)
2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.
(ok why would someone cheat if they are in love...who the fuck has a heart cold enough to even think that!)
3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the hat.
(what??? too gay to comprehend that one)
4. NEVER miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.
(thats somethin that comes from the heart...you shouldnt have to remind yourself...that just comes naturally)
5. DON'T refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.
(haha well since im a lesbian, straight ppl prolly get repulsed when me and my girlfriend kiss... plus thats another straight person thing....why laugh at someone for being in love...obviously theyre on another planet)
6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.
(ok hitting is just fucked up)
7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.
(there is being in someones arms, then just trying to "fuck" them)
8. If you don't sleep with them, DO NOT tell your friends that you did.
(thats wrong...is that what you heteros are all about?)
8.5. If you DO sleep with them, DON'T tell your friends that you did.
(people eventually sleep with them...sleeping with someone doesnt mean you had sex...then there is not telling...men usually brag that shit)
9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...
(ok everyone has a dirty mind...not all the time, but at least joke wit it at the rite time)
10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.
(everyones different...i got whale and bird days.)
11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy..
Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!
(relationships go both ways with me....you should be there for each other...paying goes hand and hand. or the fact im ready to actually start a life with an amazing girl so its not the awkward dating thing...i feel like we are already married)
12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, ONE OF HIS SWEATSHIRTS, and a really PRETTY RING. Even if it's not a serious relationship.
(stuffed animal? lol if they like stuffed animals id go get her one :D, me and kelly share clothes all the time,...better than a ring, try a tatoo...thats more permanent than an engagement ring)
13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.
(wow, one i fully agree. i love her and couldnt ever see anything bad happen to her)
14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.
(if i see another girl bothering her, we will both partake in kicking her ass...specially double dippers...if a man hits on her, they better run because we will find where they live and burn down their house)
15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, PULL YOUR GIRLFRIEND CLOSER.
(yet another straight person thing)
16. NEVER, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.
(ok like i said who the fuck hits...thats beyond fucked up....then theres the playful wrestling...different story lol)
17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.
(most men go so they can get laid later on)
18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.
(or just be honest)
19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.
(what the fuck)
20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding.
(some girls r scary as fucked when they get angry...but honestly thats not an issue with us)
21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.
(lol but driving is fun)
22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.
(of course because then it would be true)
23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.
(thank you!)
24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them WITHOUT being asked.
(i did that yesterday)
25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.
(were dykes...we can be rough :P)
26. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.
(who would not remember their bday??? hit yourself very hard)
27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.
(lol....its good to smell good, even if we smell...thats no reason to not love)
28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful.
(little things count...dont use holidays as landmarks... big things will come at any time...to be honest...love is the best gift...not moneys)
29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt her more if you draw it out.
(true...or at least be able to communicate)
30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.
(wow...power???)
31. NEVER, and i mean NEVER make her do anything she doesn't wanna do. Because if you do she'll think that you're only after one thing.
(no shit sherlock)
1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house [without notice]...they run around in their underwear just like we do.
(well if they are in a relationship they should be open enough so honestly if my girl comes over and im naked or she is, neither of us care haha. gotta b comfortable)
2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.
(ok why would someone cheat if they are in love...who the fuck has a heart cold enough to even think that!)
3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the hat.
(what??? too gay to comprehend that one)
4. NEVER miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.
(thats somethin that comes from the heart...you shouldnt have to remind yourself...that just comes naturally)
5. DON'T refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.
(haha well since im a lesbian, straight ppl prolly get repulsed when me and my girlfriend kiss... plus thats another straight person thing....why laugh at someone for being in love...obviously theyre on another planet)
6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.
(ok hitting is just fucked up)
7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.
(there is being in someones arms, then just trying to "fuck" them)
8. If you don't sleep with them, DO NOT tell your friends that you did.
(thats wrong...is that what you heteros are all about?)
8.5. If you DO sleep with them, DON'T tell your friends that you did.
(people eventually sleep with them...sleeping with someone doesnt mean you had sex...then there is not telling...men usually brag that shit)
9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...
(ok everyone has a dirty mind...not all the time, but at least joke wit it at the rite time)
10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.
(everyones different...i got whale and bird days.)
11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy..
Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!
(relationships go both ways with me....you should be there for each other...paying goes hand and hand. or the fact im ready to actually start a life with an amazing girl so its not the awkward dating thing...i feel like we are already married)
12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, ONE OF HIS SWEATSHIRTS, and a really PRETTY RING. Even if it's not a serious relationship.
(stuffed animal? lol if they like stuffed animals id go get her one :D, me and kelly share clothes all the time,...better than a ring, try a tatoo...thats more permanent than an engagement ring)
13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.
(wow, one i fully agree. i love her and couldnt ever see anything bad happen to her)
14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.
(if i see another girl bothering her, we will both partake in kicking her ass...specially double dippers...if a man hits on her, they better run because we will find where they live and burn down their house)
15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, PULL YOUR GIRLFRIEND CLOSER.
(yet another straight person thing)
16. NEVER, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.
(ok like i said who the fuck hits...thats beyond fucked up....then theres the playful wrestling...different story lol)
17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.
(most men go so they can get laid later on)
18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.
(or just be honest)
19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.
(what the fuck)
20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding.
(some girls r scary as fucked when they get angry...but honestly thats not an issue with us)
21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.
(lol but driving is fun)
22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.
(of course because then it would be true)
23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.
(thank you!)
24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them WITHOUT being asked.
(i did that yesterday)
25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.
(were dykes...we can be rough :P)
26. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.
(who would not remember their bday??? hit yourself very hard)
27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.
(lol....its good to smell good, even if we smell...thats no reason to not love)
28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful.
(little things count...dont use holidays as landmarks... big things will come at any time...to be honest...love is the best gift...not moneys)
29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt her more if you draw it out.
(true...or at least be able to communicate)
30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.
(wow...power???)
31. NEVER, and i mean NEVER make her do anything she doesn't wanna do. Because if you do she'll think that you're only after one thing.
(no shit sherlock)