Sad but true
This is what I wrote before I went to bed last night:
Im laying in front of the heater, I'm at Brits. We lost in double overtime, its okay because four of our starters fouled out and we had to play four 8th graders. I talked to James at halftime. I told Eric to tell James to bring my earring to the game but he didn't. We talked about how they did at EKU at regions. No one qualified for state. He was standing by a girl the whole time, kind of got jealous.. I don't know I don't know.. Tom asked me on the internet what I felt like when I saw him at the game. I just said Idk but still care about him and yeah, I still love him (UB)!! I dont know how I should feel. Everyone's told me I needed to move on, but i don't know if I want to. When I was at Shane's last night we were listening to the radio and a song came on that I put on one of his cds. Reminded me of him. I miss him, a lot. Everything just reminds me of him and I can't stand it. I hugged him before i went back to sit on P-ville's side. I miss hugging him. I miss kissing him. I miss looking into his eyes and knowing what he feels and thinks. I miss him holding me. I miss him telling me everything'll be okay. I miss telling him I love him. I miss being with him. I miss being at his house. I miss talking to him on the phone. I miss laying in bed with him. I miss being happy. I miss knowing that he cares about me and loves me. I miss not worrying about hist and worrying about if I'll ever see him again. I miss him and I hate it. I hate how it hurts so much I can actually feel the pain. I hate how I miss him. I hate how i hate shit. I hate how I still love him so much. I hate how I dont know if he still loves me. I hate how EVERYTHING on this fucking world reminds me of him. I hate how i dont' know anything anymore. I hate how nothing makes sense. I hate how I can't understand anything. I hate how I want him back but dont thave the balls to do anything about it---- I dont know what to do anymore... Im lost...
This is from 5th period.
so Im sitting here on the bleachers on the stage. Just got back from lunch. I dont have anything to say. Im going to call Gerry tonight. I want to see how hes doing. I havent talked to him in a while. I love isolating myself from everyone. Before lunch we got our midterms:
World Civ. 99
Honors English 95
Science 91
Algebra2 98
Drama 100
Health 106
I need to bring my science grade up. I had a 99 last semester. I cried last night. I miss James. I dont like missing him. It sucks. Parker told me last ngiht he thought we'd still get back together. He also said he and Gerry love me like family, but of course I love them just the same. Idk.. im going to lay down...
--->Kel
I dont have anything of importance to say except... I love you...
I'll be back later with more boring shit!
Kel
Im laying in front of the heater, I'm at Brits. We lost in double overtime, its okay because four of our starters fouled out and we had to play four 8th graders. I talked to James at halftime. I told Eric to tell James to bring my earring to the game but he didn't. We talked about how they did at EKU at regions. No one qualified for state. He was standing by a girl the whole time, kind of got jealous.. I don't know I don't know.. Tom asked me on the internet what I felt like when I saw him at the game. I just said Idk but still care about him and yeah, I still love him (UB)!! I dont know how I should feel. Everyone's told me I needed to move on, but i don't know if I want to. When I was at Shane's last night we were listening to the radio and a song came on that I put on one of his cds. Reminded me of him. I miss him, a lot. Everything just reminds me of him and I can't stand it. I hugged him before i went back to sit on P-ville's side. I miss hugging him. I miss kissing him. I miss looking into his eyes and knowing what he feels and thinks. I miss him holding me. I miss him telling me everything'll be okay. I miss telling him I love him. I miss being with him. I miss being at his house. I miss talking to him on the phone. I miss laying in bed with him. I miss being happy. I miss knowing that he cares about me and loves me. I miss not worrying about hist and worrying about if I'll ever see him again. I miss him and I hate it. I hate how it hurts so much I can actually feel the pain. I hate how I miss him. I hate how i hate shit. I hate how I still love him so much. I hate how I dont know if he still loves me. I hate how EVERYTHING on this fucking world reminds me of him. I hate how i dont' know anything anymore. I hate how nothing makes sense. I hate how I can't understand anything. I hate how I want him back but dont thave the balls to do anything about it---- I dont know what to do anymore... Im lost...
This is from 5th period.
so Im sitting here on the bleachers on the stage. Just got back from lunch. I dont have anything to say. Im going to call Gerry tonight. I want to see how hes doing. I havent talked to him in a while. I love isolating myself from everyone. Before lunch we got our midterms:
World Civ. 99
Honors English 95
Science 91
Algebra2 98
Drama 100
Health 106
I need to bring my science grade up. I had a 99 last semester. I cried last night. I miss James. I dont like missing him. It sucks. Parker told me last ngiht he thought we'd still get back together. He also said he and Gerry love me like family, but of course I love them just the same. Idk.. im going to lay down...
--->Kel
I dont have anything of importance to say except... I love you...
I'll be back later with more boring shit!
Kel