(no subject)
Title:Just Wanna Be With You
Author: MysticSpell
Pairings: YunJae
Others: Yoochun, Junsu, and Changmin
Genre:Slight angst/ Romance
Rating: PG
Summary:"Yunho just wants to be with Jaejoong, but with Jaejoong gone what will Yunho do?"
Monday night, and I feel so low,
I count the hours, but they go so slow.
I know the sound of your voice, can save my soul.
City lights, the streets are gold.
Looked down my window to the world below.
Move so fast, but it feels so cold
And I am all alone,
It was the first snow to hit this winter and many families, friends, and lovers could be seen enjoying it. That was all except for one young man. Like a bird that lost his wings, the young man sat deep in thought, hugging his long legs closely to his chest. With dark pools holding sorrowful depth, he quietly sat staring out the window into nothingness as his mind was clouded. Clouded by the one person he let slip from his grasp; the only person that ever made his heart race and soul sore. How could he have not seen this as the out come when he let his love go? Why did he not just stop him when he had the chance? Yes, he was in love with none other then is dearest best friend a man; a beautiful man that he could no longer be with.
In childhood the two had been inseparable, and has times changed, their bond only grew. Of course they had other best friends, but to each other and everyone else, they were the truest of friends and as the time would not stand still, his heart, like the hands of a gracefully clock change. His heart could no longer stay the same. Love bloomed for him in the most unexpected place and like a true treasure; he refused to let it go. Instead, he buried it safely into his heart. Sealing it away for no one to see or know.
Don’t let me die, am I losing my mind,
Baby, just give me a sign.
The loud knocking at the door caused the man to stir slightly from his thoughts. Not moving he started intently at the door, wishing the visitor would give up and leave. But the knocking only continued.
“Yah Yunho, open the fucking door before we Break It Down!” came a booming voice from the other side. However, Yunho made no attempt to open it for his frustrated friend.
“Yoochun, he needs time.” Said a calm and high pitched voice.
"Time, that’s all he’s had, is time, time to fight, and time to be honest.” Yoochun yelled again.
“But what did he do with it; he threw it away, along with any chance with Jae.” he said his voice cracking
“And to do what, lock him self up, Junsu he’s killing himself like this and I’m not just going to sit back and watch.”
“Chun…” Junsu said softly. There was a few more knocks that continued, until muffled sobs, of his friends took its place.
Yunho slowly walked over to the door as the voices died down. Silently he let his back slide down the door. Why hadn’t he just asked him to stay? Wrapping his hand protectively around his legs, he drew them closely to his chest once again. Closing his eyes hot tears streamed his cheeks.
And now that you’re gone,
I just wanna be with you.
"Yunho look, look what I’ve got.” Jaejoong called eagerly as waved a paper back and fourth in his hand. His large doe eyes full of excitement and the corners of his mouth turned into a spellbinding smile that could capture anyone’s heart.
‘Beautiful’ Yunho thought has his heart skipped a beat at the sight of his best friend running toward him. Yoochun who stood beside him, silently observed his friend with a grin and knowing eyes, as Jaejoong threw his arms around Yunho, knocking the both of them into the ground.
“Ow Jae, what is it and is necessary to kill in the processes.” Yunho whined with a pout, to which Yoochun knew meant Yunho only wanted Jae to feel guilty and baby him.
“Sorry, but look at this.” Jae said, smiling proudly as he showed Yunho the paper.
“Well hurry and read it.” Jae whined
“Read what and why are you guys on the floor” Changmin said with Junsu by his side as they walked up and stood beside Yoochun giving they hyung’s an odd look.
"Jae as some big new and wants Yunho to read it” Yoochun explained in.
"Oh well hyung, what’s it say.” Junsu asked getting excited
“Dear Jaejoong-shi we are pleased to tell you that your application to Purple line Music University has been accepted. And we are truly pleased to have someone with your talent join us…” Yunho trailed of his voice losing strength. No one but Yoochun seemed to notice the tears forming in Yunho’s eyes as he quickly looked away.
"Oh my god, oh my god, you did it hyung” Junsu squealed as he jumped on Jaejoong as the later could only giggle.
"I’m so happy for you hyung, congratulations.” Changmin said giving Jaejoong a hug.
"Yeah hyung you deserve it.” Yoochun added. Jaejoong beamed and turned to the only person who hadn’t said anything to him.
“Yun…”
“You’re leaving… your really going” Yunho said softly without turning to look at the other and got off the ground.
“I... Yunho what’s wron-”
“I can’t believe this.” Yunho said cutting Jaejoong off. Jae looked sad and walk toward Yunho, the others remained silent wondering if Yunho would tell Jaejoong how he felt.
Jaejoong laid his hand gently on Yunho’s shoulder. Without warning Yunho spun around and crashed Jaejoong’s smaller frame to his. The feeling sent electricity through Yunho, but he refused to let go. The embrace lasted a mere second but Yunho would have to make it last for eternity in his already broken heart. Pulling away Yunho forced a grin as he ruffled the shorter boy’s hair.
“I knew you could do it Jae, theirs no one can not love your voice, Angel.” Yunho teased, making Jae blush.
“Thanks Yun.” Jaejoong said shyly and oh so 'cutely' Yunho thought.
"We need to celebrate.” Junsu said jumping around.
"Let go out and have few drinks then, on me.” Yunho offered.
They had shared laughs, old stories, and countless other things that night, forgotten in the many bottles of sujo; but when Yunho finally returned home he let his tears spill as he spent a restless night full of nightmares, that soon would be reality. Jaejoong was leaving him, his Jaejoong.
I can’t sleep, I’m up all night.
Through these tears, I try to smile.
I know, the touch of your hand, can save my life.
But don’t let me down, come to me now,
I got to be with you some how.
In the weeks that followed Yunho pushed farther away from the others. Jaejoong soon noticed his friend’s difference. But every time he tried to talk about it, Yunho would change the subject. Asking him when he was leaving, if he pack everything, Was his apartment ready. Jaejoong asked the others if they knew why Yunho was acting distant but they all said no. Then finally, with out warning it was time for him to leave.
“Where’s Yunho?” Jaejoong asked for the seventh time since they reached the airport. He was carefully scanning the crowd but every time his heart sank more, when there was no sight of his missing friend. Changmin put a hand on his shoulder.
"Hyung, he's...”
“He’s not coming, his he?” Jaejoong said more as statement rather then a question, cutting off Changmin.
And now that you’re gone,
I just wanna be with you.
“Hyung I’m sure he’s on his way.” Junsu said trying to sooth the other. But the truth was Yunho was not going to come. And no matter how much it hurt Yunho to say goodbye, Junsu couldn’t help but feel he should be here.
"Hyung!" they all turn to the familiar voice, only to see Yoochun running toward them.
“Hyung" Yoochun said catching his breathe and giving a Jaejoong a sad smile.
"Yunho asked me to give this to you.” Yoochun said handing Jaejoong a small envelope.
“He asked me to tell you not to open it till the time was right”
Jaejoong looked up confused, what did that mean, and why was Yunho writing him a letter instead of getting his ass over to say goodbye.
“And when will that be?” Jaejoong ask trying not to yell. Why his heart hurt so much he could not understand, sure Yunho was he best friend, but why, why did it have to hurt so much.
“He said you would know.” Yoochun said. When the call for Jaejoong’s plane came, the others bind farewell to their friend. It had been Two weeks since Jaejoong left and Yunho’s life slowly fell apart, school, family, and even his friends. Nothing seems right anymore, with Jae gone, Yunho’s light too was gone from his world.
And I can’t go on, I wanna be with you.
Yunho woke the next morning with a sore back and neck. He hadn’t realized he slept sitting by the door all night, until he heard the phone ring. Slowly getting to his feet, he heard the machine pick up.
“Hyung why aren’t you answering" Said a man’s voice he knew as the youngest Changmin. Paying little attention Yunho went to make himself some coffee.
“Aish, look you need stop this Jae hyung wouldn’t be happy, He cares about you.” Yunho stopped turning to the phone with a sad look on his face.
“Hyung please just talk to him, it my not be too late.” The call ended land Yunho let out a small sigh. He knew how much his friends were worried, but what could he do. He had tried to forget his feeling and move on. But there was no hope, he was to in love with Jaejoong and it was killing him. Yunho put down his coffee and head to the bathroom. Putting on the shower, he stepped in letting the water soak him, wishing some how it could wash away the memories.
I can’t go on; I just wanna be with you.
And now that you’re gone,
I just wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
“Yah, how could you not tell him goodbye?” Junsu yelled as he shook the older man. He couldn’t believe Yunho chose to do this, rather then send his best-friend off. The group had just come back from the airport to find Yunho locked up in his apartment drinking. The sight was causing Junsu’s temper to rise. Yunho was crashed out on the couch, empty bottles of alcohol clutter the floors and from the looks of it Yunho hadn’t just started drinking that day, but it had been going on for quiet awhile.
"Yunho.” was all Yoochun could get out. He felt like crying, but turned away from the sight.
“Hyung, why are you doing this to yourself” the youngest asked, a look of disapproval playing on his face. He walked over kicking the empty bottles along the living room floor. He always looked up to Yunho, but the moment he felt let down.
“Yoochun hyung.” Changmin called, causing Yoochun to look at him.
“Take Junsu hyung out for a bit and get something to eat, I need to have a chat with Yunho hyung.” He said giving a look to Yoochun, sighing Yoochun took Junsu by the arm and dragged the angry man out.
Once the door closed, Changmin didn’t hesitate to grab Yunho by the collar, hauling the startled man up on his feet and dragging him to the bathroom. Pushing him in to the shower, Changmin turned on the water all the way to cold, the sound of Yunho’s yelling and shower were all that filled the apartment.
When Yoochun and Junsu came back an hour later they found Changmin and Yunho on the couch, Yunho had his head on Changmin’s lap and was fast asleep; with stained cheeks, he held on tightly to the youngest waist. Taking notice of his hyung’s Changmin just gave a sad smile and all could see from the soft tint of red that surrounded his eyes, he had cried too.
And I can’t go on;
I wanna be with you...
(Be with you)
Wanna be with you...
Yunho grabbed a towel and went to his bedroom, lying down on the bed he looked up at the ceiling. So many things were running through his head, yet each thought lead right back to Jaejoong. Too many things reminded him of the fair-haired boy, even the moon and it gentle glow, caused him pain, as he could only think of Jaejoong soft pale skin.
He often wondered if he had done something wrong in life to deserver, such agony and heartbreak. It just wasn’t fair that he was allowed to fall in love with someone who he could never have; who could never love him back.
“Would you have stayed if I told you I love you… would I be selfish, if I told you not to go?” Yunho asked softly.
“I would do anything you ask me,” said a soft voice. Startled Yunho jumped up and stared at the person he had been dying without for the past two weeks walk towards him closing the gap between the two.
“Jaejoong…” Yunho whispered unsure if this was real.
“Idiot…” Jaejoong called back standing in front of Yunho, they faces only an inch away. Jaejoong brought his arms up wrapping them around Yunho’s neck, pulling the taller man down to him.
“I love you too.” He said before crashing their lips together. The kiss sent shock waves through Yunho’s Body. Wrapping his arms around the smaller mans tiny waist, Yunho let himself become lost in Jaejoong’s Warmth.
And I can’t go on;
I wanna be with you...
(Be with you)
Wanna be with you...
The two fell onto the bed, forgetting everything else, desperate to make up for lost time, neither heard nor notice the three vary shocked and happy men standing in the door way.
“Oh my God.” Junsu squealed quietly, turning to Yoochun who was wearing a large grin. Changmin smile his crooked smile with his mismatch eyes. The three quietly were making their way to the door when something caught Changmin’s eye. Walking into the bedroom stealthily, Changmin retrieved a crumpled paper from the floor; quickly exiting he showed the paper to his hyung’s.
Dear Jaejoong,
If you are reading this, you must feel it is the time is right. You’re probably mad I didn’t give this to you myself, or even come to say goodbye.
I’m really sorry Jae… I don’t know how to say goodbye to the most important person to me. We’ve been best-friends for so many years now and I bet I could tell you everything about yourself, from the silliest things to the darkest parts. I wonder how well you know me; you always say you know everything there is to know about me. But did you know that I have a secret not even you know. I love you.
yes you read it right I love you. From the moment, I first saw those big doe eyes to that vary last time we saw each other. Even now, I can’t get you out of my head, you’re like a disease and I don’t know if I want to be cured. You’re killing me slowly, but if loving you means the death of me, I would gladly greet him at my door.
I understand if you don’t feel the same way and never want to speak to me again. But just know that no matter where you go, how far, or how long; with you, you hold my heart.
Kim Jaejoong, you’ve held the key to my heart and I only ask you never let it go. Whether you return my feelings, or not its okay, but please don’t throw away my heart. I would rather you keep it, then break it.
There is so much I want to say to you, but I won’t. I will not plague you with my troubles. So I’ll end this here. This is not goodbye.
To my only love, Kim Jaejoong, I’ll see you later.
Love always, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and into eternity.
Jung Yunho
Changmin folded the letter and turned to meet his hyung’s, all eyes were watery as the left the apartment.
“I want a love like that.” Changmin said as they stepped into the elevator. Yoochun and Junsu just nodded. Each wondering if they ever will, find a love like that.
And I can’t go on;
I wanna be with you...
(Be with you)
Wanna be with you...
“Jaejoong.” Yunho called softly to the man lying beside him with his head rested on Yunho’s chest, their limbs tangle along with the sheet that covered their bear bodies.
“Hmm…” Jaejoong sighed into Yunho’s neck, filling his senses with Yunho’s sent.
“What about Purple Line, What about your dream?” Yunho asked pulling the smaller man up to meet his gaze.
“What about it” he said touching Yunho’s cheek and giving a soft smile.
“It’s your dream, how can you just forget about it”
“Dreams change Yunho, yes my dream did use to be, to go there, but now what I want is to be with you, YooSuMin, and my family. Being away made me see that, it made me see I can’t live without you by my side.
“When you didn’t come to the airport, I was pissed and hurt. In Japan I couldn’t think about anything but you and last night I finally had it, I found your letter and after reading it, I wanted to kill you, but at the same time I was so happy to have your love.” He said his eyes becoming wet and he could see Yunho’s were too, has the man silently listened.
“I love you and I don’t want to be anywhere else, then right here.” He said as he began to sob. Yunho tightly wrapped his arms around Jaejoong and cried with him.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.”
“I love you Kim Jaejoong, yesterday, today…”
“Tomorrow and into eternity.” Jaejoong finished his sentence smiling as the tears continued to fall from his doe eyes. For the second time Jaejoong pulled Yunho into a kiss and they both knew neither wanted to let go.
Oh...
Just wanna be with you, just wanna be with you.
First time writing a fanfic, so I no its no good, but I tried and finally finished one, so Yay lol