Confessions of a Hotel Night Auditor
Hello again... it's been awhile, hasn't it?
Oftentimes, as we change shifts, we tell our relief if there is anything interesting going on. Somestimes "interesting" comes in the form of explaining the idiosyncracies of some guests.
Tonight when I walk in, I get told to watch out for the crazy lady. Sure.. no problem.. I see a lot of unusual guests so I am not too worried about it and go about my business.
Little did I know.
So here I sit, innocent as all get out and this crazy woman walks into my lobby. At first, she seems pretty nice and normal. That changes fairly quickly. She stops by the front desk and talks to me for a few minutes. No problems.. that happens fairly regularly.. nothing out of the ordinary there, for all of about three minutes.
The crazy woman is in my lobby. The crazy woman has decided that I am her new best friend. In half an hour she has told me her entire life story, she has changed topics about half a dozen times in ten minutes. She is talking a mile a minute.
Now don't get wrong... I'm not only originally from New York.. but I'm Puerto Rican... we talk like squirrels on Fast Forward.. but even I was having a hard time keeping up with her. I am trying desperately to not get the wild, wide eyed Deer in a Headlight look, but I am failing miserably.
I finally resorted to getting online and asking a friend to save me from the psycho lady by calling me. Saved by the bell.. or so I thought. before I knew it.. she decided that she wanted some ice and came BEHIND MY FRONT DESK to get a cup that we had in the back office. How she knew they were there, I have no idea.. but I was incredulous... the minute she got her cup I locked the front desk office door.
I have NEVER felt the need to lock the front office door.. seriously!
Well.. I thought that I had been saved by the bell when I got my phone call (1000 thanks to my friend that c alled me) because the lady went up to her room... called me and asked for a wake up call.
Phew.. bullet dodged... right?
WRONG!!!
three am... I leave the desk shortly (restroom) and as I come back to the desk I hear the telephone. I did not make it in time... next thing I know... Crazy lady is BACK in my lobby.. telling me that she called down to the desk and because I didn't answer she thought that there was something wrong with me and that she had come running down to check on me.
Now I am being regaled with story after story... complete with sound effects. I am trying desperately to be nice.. but patience.. running ... thin.
The last thing that she just told me is that she liked one of the floral centerpieces in the lobby and she wanted it and wanted to take it home.
OMG!
I am developing a migraine.
Dear Crazy Lady,
Please go to bed. I can no longer keep track of your crazed prattling. I really could do without your re-enactment of people hacking up, coughing and throwing up. You have been talking NON STOP for over half an hour (Dude, take a breath!) If you do not go to bed soon... I am going to stab you with my pen.
Your very irritated Night Auditor
Me.
Oftentimes, as we change shifts, we tell our relief if there is anything interesting going on. Somestimes "interesting" comes in the form of explaining the idiosyncracies of some guests.
Tonight when I walk in, I get told to watch out for the crazy lady. Sure.. no problem.. I see a lot of unusual guests so I am not too worried about it and go about my business.
Little did I know.
So here I sit, innocent as all get out and this crazy woman walks into my lobby. At first, she seems pretty nice and normal. That changes fairly quickly. She stops by the front desk and talks to me for a few minutes. No problems.. that happens fairly regularly.. nothing out of the ordinary there, for all of about three minutes.
The crazy woman is in my lobby. The crazy woman has decided that I am her new best friend. In half an hour she has told me her entire life story, she has changed topics about half a dozen times in ten minutes. She is talking a mile a minute.
Now don't get wrong... I'm not only originally from New York.. but I'm Puerto Rican... we talk like squirrels on Fast Forward.. but even I was having a hard time keeping up with her. I am trying desperately to not get the wild, wide eyed Deer in a Headlight look, but I am failing miserably.
I finally resorted to getting online and asking a friend to save me from the psycho lady by calling me. Saved by the bell.. or so I thought. before I knew it.. she decided that she wanted some ice and came BEHIND MY FRONT DESK to get a cup that we had in the back office. How she knew they were there, I have no idea.. but I was incredulous... the minute she got her cup I locked the front desk office door.
I have NEVER felt the need to lock the front office door.. seriously!
Well.. I thought that I had been saved by the bell when I got my phone call (1000 thanks to my friend that c alled me) because the lady went up to her room... called me and asked for a wake up call.
Phew.. bullet dodged... right?
WRONG!!!
three am... I leave the desk shortly (restroom) and as I come back to the desk I hear the telephone. I did not make it in time... next thing I know... Crazy lady is BACK in my lobby.. telling me that she called down to the desk and because I didn't answer she thought that there was something wrong with me and that she had come running down to check on me.
Now I am being regaled with story after story... complete with sound effects. I am trying desperately to be nice.. but patience.. running ... thin.
The last thing that she just told me is that she liked one of the floral centerpieces in the lobby and she wanted it and wanted to take it home.
OMG!
I am developing a migraine.
Dear Crazy Lady,
Please go to bed. I can no longer keep track of your crazed prattling. I really could do without your re-enactment of people hacking up, coughing and throwing up. You have been talking NON STOP for over half an hour (Dude, take a breath!) If you do not go to bed soon... I am going to stab you with my pen.
Your very irritated Night Auditor
Me.