Blast from the past
It's been awhile since i have written.. I have been busy with work and family. But i have some random ramblings so here we go.
Just a few days ago my mom called me at work for something and before we hung up she told me that Sam from St. Ignace called from me and wanted me to call her back..... This is the girl that i got in a huge fight with that caused Tony and i to break up. *long story*
Just thinking of her or any one from there makes my tummy ache. I don't know i guess i will never be able to get over tony. I always wonder how angelica and him doing. *my little family i wished so hard for and lost out of stupidity* I know that leaving him was for the best becuase i wouldn't be doing what i am doing if i hadn't... But somedays i wonder if i could just take that day away and start over new, what would have happened. Would i have my family i always wanted, or would i have been as unhappy as i was back then, now.
I mean come on now, i am back in school *something i had always wanted to do when i was with him* My daughter is happy, i have my own place, i am near my mother, and things are going well with me. I am finally happy and i finally love who i am and what i am doing. Its just that somethings missing.......
So back to Sam, she wanted me to come to St. Ignace to visit her because she is only up for a week. But i just can't get my self to go back to that town. I have way to many good and bad memories there, I don't think i would be able to relax with out thinking, am i going to run in to him, does he still hate me. ect ect.
Should i leave things be and just keep going with my life, or should i go there and say one last good bye. My stomach just hurts even thinking about it. I thought i was doing just fine then Sam calls me and all of a sudden i start thinking about him..... grrrrrr....
I am so lonely. I hate coming home to an empty house. I hate cooking for only me and the baby, and i hate crawling in to bed to nothing but my stuffed dog and blankets. :(
Just a few days ago my mom called me at work for something and before we hung up she told me that Sam from St. Ignace called from me and wanted me to call her back..... This is the girl that i got in a huge fight with that caused Tony and i to break up. *long story*
Just thinking of her or any one from there makes my tummy ache. I don't know i guess i will never be able to get over tony. I always wonder how angelica and him doing. *my little family i wished so hard for and lost out of stupidity* I know that leaving him was for the best becuase i wouldn't be doing what i am doing if i hadn't... But somedays i wonder if i could just take that day away and start over new, what would have happened. Would i have my family i always wanted, or would i have been as unhappy as i was back then, now.
I mean come on now, i am back in school *something i had always wanted to do when i was with him* My daughter is happy, i have my own place, i am near my mother, and things are going well with me. I am finally happy and i finally love who i am and what i am doing. Its just that somethings missing.......
So back to Sam, she wanted me to come to St. Ignace to visit her because she is only up for a week. But i just can't get my self to go back to that town. I have way to many good and bad memories there, I don't think i would be able to relax with out thinking, am i going to run in to him, does he still hate me. ect ect.
Should i leave things be and just keep going with my life, or should i go there and say one last good bye. My stomach just hurts even thinking about it. I thought i was doing just fine then Sam calls me and all of a sudden i start thinking about him..... grrrrrr....
I am so lonely. I hate coming home to an empty house. I hate cooking for only me and the baby, and i hate crawling in to bed to nothing but my stuffed dog and blankets. :(