The longing to be FREE
I feel that in the eyes of my parents I am still a little child. I need to be in bed at a certain time, I have to ask permission to eat, I have to ask permission to go online at night, I am sick of it. I want to be able to do what I want when I want. Like tonight ... my mom wants me to be offline by 11. Why? No reason... she just wants me off. I really don't think it matters what time I get off. sure 4 in the morning is a bit late. But I wont stay on til 4. IT isnt like anyone is gonna call here at 11 or later. Geez!!! It isnt like I am asking for much. I can deal with asking permission to eat, and asking permission to go online during the day. (although this is where I plead my case for dsl) All I ask is to be able to go online at night and stay on as long as i want. The eating thing... Well yes I do want to tone up and I do want to be in shape. But they flipped out on me for eating a twinkie (which i ate earlier in the day) and Ice cream. So I splurged one night. I am gonna be condemned to fatness b/c of it. I excercise, and for the most part eat right daily... heaven forbid one night I splurge!!!
She also mentioned today that as long as I live under her roof I wont be able to get a tatoo and that it includes going away to college. Well there really isnt anything she can do about it. B/c Believe it or not ... at some point when I am 18 I WILL get a tattoo...
I long to have some freedom.
I do believe another thing that gets me down is the pressure for good grades. YES I do want them... but there is the feeling that I am never good enough. o i am sorry your gpa is a 95... you can do better. you should have ended this year with a bang. A bang would be a 97, not a 95. OMG you got a 76 on your Math B. Ik mom isnt that good... no alys, good would be an 85 or higher. But mom it is a hard test, a 76 is really good. Not good enough...
Well I am still Damn Pleased with my grades!!!
I feel so freakin pressured... I want my OWN LIFE!!!!
I could vent more... but I really dont have the energy at the moment...
Peace and Love for now
Freedom is not merely the opportunity to do as one pleases; neither is it merely the opportunity to choose between set alternatives. Freedom is, first of all, the chance to formulate the available choices, to argue over them -- and then, the opportunity to choose.
~C. Wright Mills
Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away
[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway
[Chorus]
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway
I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway
She also mentioned today that as long as I live under her roof I wont be able to get a tatoo and that it includes going away to college. Well there really isnt anything she can do about it. B/c Believe it or not ... at some point when I am 18 I WILL get a tattoo...
I long to have some freedom.
I do believe another thing that gets me down is the pressure for good grades. YES I do want them... but there is the feeling that I am never good enough. o i am sorry your gpa is a 95... you can do better. you should have ended this year with a bang. A bang would be a 97, not a 95. OMG you got a 76 on your Math B. Ik mom isnt that good... no alys, good would be an 85 or higher. But mom it is a hard test, a 76 is really good. Not good enough...
Well I am still Damn Pleased with my grades!!!
I feel so freakin pressured... I want my OWN LIFE!!!!
I could vent more... but I really dont have the energy at the moment...
Peace and Love for now
Freedom is not merely the opportunity to do as one pleases; neither is it merely the opportunity to choose between set alternatives. Freedom is, first of all, the chance to formulate the available choices, to argue over them -- and then, the opportunity to choose.
~C. Wright Mills
Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away
[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway
[Chorus]
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway
I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway