So, after
my anxious Thursday night, once I left my apartment and actually settled into the hotel room I shared with
littlebutfierce, my anxiety levels went down quite a bit. I guess this is something to know for future WisCons. I feel grateful to have been able to spend so much time with
littlebutfierce while they were here.
Thanks very much to those of you who asked how I was doing, even if in passing. It felt nice to be surrounded by all of you.
I feel kind of guilty about how few people I saw, although I did make it to a handful of panels this year.
More than a few hours of my time were eaten up by Safety issues,
some of
which are
public, and some of which are not.
Very cool of X's partner to point-blank refuse to help us contact X before blogging after asking whether it was for a Safety issue, and then saying, "No," and then, "I know what this is about. This is ridiculous, you people are ridiculous. I'm not helping you reach her." Which, fine. But nobody should claim that we didn't try. (Other methods were also tried.)
I feel satisfied and comfortable with the decisions made by the co-chairs and Safety leads.
At any rate, what I wanted to say is that I am available for people venting or etc. I have a position within the leadership structure, but I am not on the Anti-Abuse Team, and I (rightfully) do not have access to the totality of information that they have.
During the actual con, I weigh in and support Safety decisions as requested. Depending on the circumstance, I may be involved in relaying information as well, although generally my presence is saved as a last resort, :)
My own panel about the 2018 Midterms went well. I was able to share some information about Pod Save America/Crooked Media's plan to flip 8 House seats in California, the Crooked 8, with a guy looking for a way to help in a relatively blue city/state. I still feel very conflicted and weird about my own political activism, or lack thereof, which is balanced between a fulltime job and mental illness, as well as familial things like aging parents who live half a state away, horseback riding preferably twice a week, and this volunteer gig with SF3. I haven't gone door-to-door or made calls or etc. Maybe that will change once we get past Wisconsin's late gubernatorial/senatorial primaries before the election in November, but in the end I try not to feel guilty about what I can do. What I can do ultimately ends up being mostly online activism, but unexpectedly being able to weigh in, for example with a cousin who had some expected influence in a Q&A with a congressional candidate in a rural western state, connecting people with information, giving advice to people who might have some influence working on campaigns, and my usual hyper-active political tweets. I think we are all doing our best.
Per usual, I feel filled up with enough community and hope and inspiration to go on for another year.
Between my birthday and WisCon, I've spent a lot of the past two weeks in conversation with friends, and I feel lucky and grateful to know so many kind and intelligent people. I am grateful also for being able to converse with you all online for all the times we cannot hang out together in person.
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