A dance and then some. Ho hum...

[mysticgypsy1]

Of course I became a ball of mush when they showed them dancing in the preview.

But then I remembered what an ass Matthew was in today's episode.

Ugh, I can't even properly feel the feelings I want to feel feelingly.

(*glass cage of emotions*)

Comments

[clunkhall]

Uff.

I wouldn't say Matthew was an ass! But it has left me feeling pretty down. And you KNOW how much I love Matthew!! I guess he just wasn't as obvious as I'd been hoping. Actually, you know, if he and Mary had exchanged ONE SINGLE LINE with each other, we might have gotten something!! But they didn't, so he didn't have much chance to show.

What upsets me is how grateful he was for Lavinia's care, but not for what Mary had done for him. Though - well. I don't know. I think, up until Violet's conversation, it was much as he intimated last episode - he couldn't, wouldn't allow himself to see ANYTHING there because he wouldn't allow himself to be an impediment to Mary's marriage. And what he said to Violet then was telling, as well, in that it's more from appreciation of the life Lavinia was prepared to commit herself to in being with him as he was - which IS on a different level to Mary's care in the hospital, though of course he wouldn't know that Mary WOULD have that life with him, too. Either way, there's a sense of obligation there.

But I'll admit I WAS miserable by how happy he was announcing that they'd get married, and TO HAVE IT AT DOWNTON, and... yeah, just how eager he was. That upset me. And Mary's reaction, how could he not notice?!

But, after Violet's talking to him, he was very careful when he came in, didn't go TO Lavinia, was watching Mary - I'm taking hope from that. AND THE DOG!! Of course the dog.

The way I'm trying to justify it to myself is that he can't take Violet's word for it alone. As far as Matthew's concerned, Mary is engaged (though he must be BLIND if he thinks it's happily), and he cannot just believe Violet - why would he? When he's spent six years trying to FORGET that Mary might have loved him, convincing himself that she never did? But at least Violet has made him QUESTION - that much was obvious. And I suppose we'll have to take that.

But yes, I was left disappointed by it.

I AM PLACING ALL MY HOPES ON THAT PREVIEW SCENE WHICH MADE ME SQUEAL AND BOUNCE ALL OVER THE PLACE. DANCING. SWOONINESS. I CANNOT WAIT.

Come on Matthew, come through for me... PLEASE!

(Also as well, I think that I'm gutted because... now, both A/B and even S/B KNOW THEY LOVE EACH OTHER, and that they INTEND to get married... If M/M even had THAT much, I'd be over the moon. But they have NOTHING. It's like JF is taking my ship and RIPPING IT TO SHREDS and that's left me pretty down.)

BRING ON NEXT WEEK.

[mysticgypsy1]

I do wish they had exchanged one line, even after Violet's confession. Maybe it was edited out? I'd like to think that, then to believe there was NOTHING said between them :(

I am very angry that Matthew never acknowledged any of the good things Mary's done. He won't say it at all! Or admit it in other ways! UGH!!

Another thing I feel disappointed about is why they couldn't show us private moments with Matthew. We had some of those in S1, when he's looking out of the window or something like that. Basically, a "reflective" moment like those Mary has would have made me warm towards Matthew again.
And JF could have written that in because it seems like such a simple thing, but one that carries so much meaning. At least it would have provided a "window" into Matthew's private thoughts. I wouldn't fault him so much then.

And as for the wedding announcement, I was like WHOAH! And it came from him! Even poor Lavinia looked shocked! I can't believe he was that insensitive about it, knowing Mary was due to get married as well. At least he could waited until she was done. It's so selfish.

Did he watch Mary? I didn't catch that.

The dog gives me hope, but it seems puny at this point and superficial. I'd like to go all meta and say that the dog is Matthew's "voice" and his attention to the dog reflects his persistent feelings for Mary. But I can't. Because we get NOTHING else from Matthew. Not even one of his priceless "looks" for her or even one of his bitch faces. There seems to be no FEELING from him.

I find it very funny that S/B and A/B and even Robert/Jane have full sailing ships. I mean come on! I actually applaud all these characters for taking the plunge, and equally angered with Matthew. Mary's always at a disadvantage, but what Matthew's doing is far worse.

I am still trying to parse out my feelings. But I am also trying to wean myself off of these two. I won't be able to bear it otherwise...