again
I have to write some more because i got alot on my mind, even though i try to blot out everything and try and show that its not affecting me and i try to have good days but they dont seem to come and i do want them ,oh yeah and i am not getting my period. I just need a big pick me up , a really big one and i just cant seem to find it at all in anyhthing , everyhthing has just become dull , and boring and just pale , i don't how make it go away , i realized when they do say things about dad it does hurt alot because u feel like they are speaking of yourself and you know you have to bear it. One thing though i do not like ppl to see me cry its not a pride thing just that i dunno. everyone is telling me I have to be strong for mom and dad but who is going to be strong for me , i am tired of acting as if it doesn't faze me and i dont want pity. I just dont understand at all where all of this haterd is coming from , is it a good story is it a good past time maybe this is preparing me for something harder in my life. Many ppl look at me like im crazy i dont mind , i really for real now dont care im me and if u dont like it I DONT GIVE A FLYING ( u know what) no cusing in this one tap-ass lool anyway Music and prayer seems be my only outlets oh yeah and nice showers . feEL ALITTLE BETTER NOW THAT IVE CRIED AMD GOT IT OUT