The spirit of Christmas
I woke up this morning, looking for snow, at least there was some of that, along with some sleet. First thing I got fussed at for turning my alarm on, it woke everyone one up. I got online and imed Jason (my brother) to tell him to head on over here, he took a while because he left his amp on and his battery was dead. I figured okay aunt Janine will be here soon and Jason will and then we'll open presents together as one big family. Boy, was I wrong.
Jason got here, and I waited, and sat around and did nothing. I got fet up becasue we weren't doing shit so I went and lied down. Jason jumped on me and woke me up. Then he started to not feel well, so he went i lied down. Once again I did nothing. Just sat on the couch like a potato.
Janine finally got here, but we still didn't open them. Jason had to leave by 2, so he opened his presents already, as I was picking all his presents out of the pile, uncle Gary called and said to start heading over for dinner. Aunt Janine and mawmaw were just gonna leave and not wait for him. Everything is on their time, I swear. I was sitting by dad and mumbled something under my breath. Dad told them that he was gonna wait for Jason to open his presents. I mean come on..common courtesy, but no, my family has none of that. So aunt Janine and mawmaw stayed, but they rushed them the whole time.
Jason wasn't even planning on going to dinner because he had to leave for his party. But they left him and didn't say goodbye, so Jason went over there for a few. I mean they complain that Jason doesn't come see him, but yet they don't spend time with him when he does come. I got there and asked dad to come with me and fussed at him. Dad harped back at me saying not to fuss at him. Told me he had nothing to live for anymore and that he may as well just do him self in. Well I lost it! I was crying and just carrying on it was awful. In front of all kinds of family (well family by marriage that is, so therefore i'm still a stranger to them). Me and dad talked, we aren't saying much now. We aren't okay. I feel like when Jan died, I not only lost my step mom, but I lost my dad to, and there's nothing I can do. This really sucks. Christmas sucks! I hate holidays. I just wanna go away and never return. Why God, why put me in a life like this! Everything is going to pieces!
Merry Christmas everyone, hope yours was better than mine..
Jason got here, and I waited, and sat around and did nothing. I got fet up becasue we weren't doing shit so I went and lied down. Jason jumped on me and woke me up. Then he started to not feel well, so he went i lied down. Once again I did nothing. Just sat on the couch like a potato.
Janine finally got here, but we still didn't open them. Jason had to leave by 2, so he opened his presents already, as I was picking all his presents out of the pile, uncle Gary called and said to start heading over for dinner. Aunt Janine and mawmaw were just gonna leave and not wait for him. Everything is on their time, I swear. I was sitting by dad and mumbled something under my breath. Dad told them that he was gonna wait for Jason to open his presents. I mean come on..common courtesy, but no, my family has none of that. So aunt Janine and mawmaw stayed, but they rushed them the whole time.
Jason wasn't even planning on going to dinner because he had to leave for his party. But they left him and didn't say goodbye, so Jason went over there for a few. I mean they complain that Jason doesn't come see him, but yet they don't spend time with him when he does come. I got there and asked dad to come with me and fussed at him. Dad harped back at me saying not to fuss at him. Told me he had nothing to live for anymore and that he may as well just do him self in. Well I lost it! I was crying and just carrying on it was awful. In front of all kinds of family (well family by marriage that is, so therefore i'm still a stranger to them). Me and dad talked, we aren't saying much now. We aren't okay. I feel like when Jan died, I not only lost my step mom, but I lost my dad to, and there's nothing I can do. This really sucks. Christmas sucks! I hate holidays. I just wanna go away and never return. Why God, why put me in a life like this! Everything is going to pieces!
Merry Christmas everyone, hope yours was better than mine..