Evan: Hey! I see myself as special...I just don't think anyone else does and I'm beginning to think that special isn't that good kind :) And I am disposable to many a male and quite a few females as well...it's really quite depressing. Prayer is much more than an outlet for me mainly because this is the venting portion of the day...prayer is the crying out clawing at my little pity bubble sort of thing. But I get what you're saying about helping myself and I definitely make an effort...I just hit a brick wall with people at full force and take things wayyy too personally. That's why we're medicated :) "Little funk" is kind of an understatement since I've been really low and distant for about a month straight. This isn't my normal manic depressive state where life sucks and then I get a cookie and we're all better. But I'll be fine...I'm stronger than you would ever ever guess :) Thanks darlin'!
Chris: When the first thing out of your mouth is correcting a spelling error, that just made me crack up! I'm glad someone else shares in my not so bright outlook. See, I don't want to belong to a group necessarily. I was at Metro (school churchy thing) and the dude was talking about having only 5 true friends your entire life. Those are the ones that you can call for anything and they'll be there, etc. And I realized that I didn't feel like there was anyone in my life, apart from my boyfriend, that really fit that mold for me. I just don't really connect that deeply with anyone, unless it's a guy who wants to date me but when they either can't have me or I panic, I'm disposable. I just want to have that sort of connection with somebody or even just people that I can hang out with a be myself, whoever the hell that is. That's why hanging out with you guys was so awesome to me because for once everything else disappeared and it was just me laughing with guys I absolutely adore. The light was on and then just as quickly it was gone and I felt all alone again. It's warped. But I'm getting better and I'll end up back to my bitchy sarcastic blunt self in no time! Thanks for making me smile :)
Chris: When the first thing out of your mouth is correcting a spelling error, that just made me crack up! I'm glad someone else shares in my not so bright outlook. See, I don't want to belong to a group necessarily. I was at Metro (school churchy thing) and the dude was talking about having only 5 true friends your entire life. Those are the ones that you can call for anything and they'll be there, etc. And I realized that I didn't feel like there was anyone in my life, apart from my boyfriend, that really fit that mold for me. I just don't really connect that deeply with anyone, unless it's a guy who wants to date me but when they either can't have me or I panic, I'm disposable. I just want to have that sort of connection with somebody or even just people that I can hang out with a be myself, whoever the hell that is. That's why hanging out with you guys was so awesome to me because for once everything else disappeared and it was just me laughing with guys I absolutely adore. The light was on and then just as quickly it was gone and I felt all alone again. It's warped. But I'm getting better and I'll end up back to my bitchy sarcastic blunt self in no time! Thanks for making me smile :)
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