To you.....
Funny that I can relate to a sister about what she is going through. Funny? Because I know what you feel about not trusting people and wanting at the same time, but you can't help to stop the wall that builds up. And that's because people have hurt you so many times. I completely understand. To let you know, I haven't given up on you. I stop coming up to you because I was and am going through some things and was in my own world trying to deal with it. I feel your pain. It brings tears to my eyes to think of what I feel. But I haven't given up on what God calls me to do: don't give up on those who have given up on you. To continue to persevere. And I continually tell God that it's hard. I don't want to any more and He assures me with a loving voice that He loves me and gives me the strength not to give up. And with whatever little strength I have to give to others, I give. Those that do know me well and I mean by very well, know that it's hard for me to trust people. Even as a disciple you would think that you would not get hurt, but it feels that I continually am being hurt silently by those I love. So to you I say, don't give up on those that love you. Just remember that they might be going through something as well and are really trying hard to be there for you also. I wish you the very best and that with God you can work in breaking down the wall of China. :) take care....