(no subject)
This past weekend ran into a guy i had went to school with had a crush on this guy in school. And guese what now he would like to go out with me. Im not sure what i want to do at the moment. I do spend too much time at work, but starting to feel the reason of that is im scared,of being hurt. See i was hurt recently by someone i loved more than my words could ever say. He was one i felt i could totally be myself with, And at times be someone diffrent from myself. He had learned me to have fun again, And live for the moment. Not worry about tomorrow. But he is gone now, He still talks to me once in a while, But seems thats only when he needs my help with something. So thats not right either. I know he loved me at one time. But at the time i was scared to admit to him or myself i had falling so in love with him. I could talk to him about anything, he never judge me. But guese the one thing i should have been talking to him about and didnt' help me lose him. Are was he just a player all along and i just didnt' see it. Because i cared for him so much. I do feel sometimes you can love and trust someone so much, that you can lose them before you know what has hit you. Thats' what happen to me, When i found out he was talken to someone else i could almost say a part of me died. Or maybe i should say i lost a part of me. I want to find that part of me i have lost so badly. But just dont' know what or where too go to find it. And i know i should go out with this guy cause who knows he could be the one to help me find that part of me again. But being scared is holden me back. And you know its kinda funny because i would be the first one to tell one of my friends go for it you only live once!! Just dont' know what direction to go in right now.