Rambling of A Tired Lady
It's that time of year again. Fall, when the leaves turn magnificent shades of reds and oranges and yellows. And then fade to brown and the abscission cuts it's life to an end. Slowly swirling down to meet it's matches on the ground. Then decay to give it's carbon up to another form of life. Smoke bellowing out of chimneys creating a rustic wholesome scent in the crisp cold air. The past couple weeks have reminded me so much of Maine. The temperature without the rain. But when I look around I know it's still Oregon by the trees. I miss my oaks and maples. Doug Firs are so boring. I miss being able to go out to the forest and have a sea of colors to make any painter's palate jealous. And when the sun sets over that sea, the horizon blends in splotchy brilliance a feast for thine eyes. A fest thine eyes have been depraved of for many years now. I always want to go back in late September or early October, but there is never time with the bustling of school. I like Oregon for it's summer, Maine for it's Fall, South for it's winter. And Spring? Well Spring is lovely wherever you are. I still have not carved a pumpkin or eaten much squash. I feel lazy about cooking. Oddly I miss cooking for someone everyday. I thought it would be nice to not consider another's food preference in my meals, but the lack of audience to compliment me is not a good trade. I eat so much better when the meal is shared. I cook so much better when I am trying to impress someone, even if I have already impressed them 100 times. Eating is such a primal, communal thing. To me that seems amplified this time of year when the Earth sucks back all it's nutrition. It makes me think of Stone Soup. We loose touch with these roots living the way we do. No one bustles to can or preserve through salting, drying, etc. But over 100 years ago would you survive the Winter without the stockpile of foods? Maybe in the warmer climates, but definitely not in the colder ones. Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong time era. Sometimes I feel like maybe I haven't discovered why my soul was given life at this moment in history. Sometimes I feel like around the bend is some glorious discovery that I will not miss if I keep my eyes peeled. But so far, I take only baby steps. Somehow afraid of creating my own destiny yet longing to get there. One day. I will take a leap. And then, I will never return.