(no subject)
Trying to sort through all the emotional baggage. Not such an easy task. So many mixed feelings. So many new desires. So many old hurts. I want to be happy. I want to stay positive. So I will. It's not ignoring the pain, the hurt by any means. It's acknowledging them and moving past them. Embracing them as a part of myself and moving beyond to find the other parts of myself I care to dwell on. It's not dwelling in the pain and negative side of life, but the more inspiring and intoxicating sides of life. I want to be drunk with love again. I want to be drunk with joy again. I don't want to be loathing in self pity and hate like you chose to. I don't hate myself...at least most of the time. I am fucking amazing. I am fucking powerful. And beautiful, strong, and fucking intelligent. I am no genius. I am just capable. I use my power for good from this point on. Not self destructive behaviors. If I am in a bad situation I will stand up for myself and fight for myself. And not give myself away to someone in the name of love ever again. I am me. I am not what you want me to be. I am not what I am to conform to in order to be with you. I am me. You hear that world? I am me. And I am fucking amazing.