Bad Days, Bad Weeks, Piss off.
Life hates me at times, it really does. So lets see, I'm no longer in school period, why? Because I skipped too much so mum pulled me out. Thank you me for being dumb. So I now work a full time job, ten hours a day, ten bucks an hour, four days a week. It has its ups and downs. LIke paying bills, thats a down, but having lots of money after the bills, thats an up. But not graduating conventionally? Yeah thats a definate down.
Dustin comes up in one week, seven days from now I'll be so nervous, excited, awake and alive that I won't wanna stop pacing around in Edmonton International until his flight arrives. My goodness I thought it'd never get here! I'm so happy I could squeal, but squealing atm would be bad, my mum and chris would wonder wtf. Thats okay, they wonder wtf about me anyways xD.
Men can be pigs, end of story. I have a sexist father, dated two sexist(or boarderline) men, and worked with one, now two. Men you have dicks yes, but be for warned, its the woman who has the far, far bitchier attitude, I suggest you calm down on the ego trip before I start chopping heads off, and I don't mean the one on your shoulders.
Level 28 in World of Warcraft if anyone cares lol! Yeah yeah big deal right? I worked hard for those levels! I honestly did. But yet I'm just below dirt, a female who doesn't belong in a factory setting. Well guess what I don't care, I can lift the panels, I can lift the extrusion. I can press the drill button, piss off I know how to screw a panel I'm not that blond thank you very much! I hate when people talk down to other people, it really pisses me off, especially when its someone I love. I have a long fuse, it burns and simmers and I shut my mouth and let things slide, unless you start paining people I care for, in which case you're likely to get told.
All I ask for is to be treated like a human, and with respect, yes I'm only 16, going on 17 but god damnit I deserve respect too, and so does my mother. Hell anyone does! Its not right to discriminate! It just GRRRRR, my dad was like that to me and mum for years, and I refuse to put up with it any longer. If you wanna be a sexist pig you better leave my life now, because otherwise you've been officially warned, I'll start in on you and I'll make sure you regret every little dagger of pain. Don't ever push me to the extremes which I can take.
Thank god I'm not a violent person otherwise I wouldn't be typing I'd be murdering someone. My knees ache, I'm tired, and I'm bitchy. I want to be cuddled and held and have to wait, and you know what? I don't fucking well want to. I want it now! Lol! Yes impatient I know, but I've waited so long already, whats another seven or so days? Can't wait, can't wait.
Had to reformat my computer and its still fucked, just fuck it. It works and I don't care anymore its not like I'm on that much anymore anyways, I work ten hours a day, I'm up at four in the morning, out the door at five.
You know who else bothers me though? My dad.
He just doesn't seem to get it, I hate the saying "you want respect you have to earn it." You know why? Because I automatically respect a person for being alive, I give them their diginity and let them strangle themselves, not put the noose around their neck and pull. And thats what he does. He called while I was out with my mother one day to get her newest tattoo and was like "Hey wanna go out and do something today?" I had told him I wasn't free that day, and that Saturday I was free we could do something there. He got attitudistic, and I hung up. Later that night he was still being a jerk so I didn't get to see him before he left.
And it really doesn't phaze me. I don't care what he does, he is abusive and not someone I want my life around. I don't need that shit, hell I didn't call him on Father's Day. Yes I feel bad, but then I remember all the things of mine he missed and it makes this like bittersweet revenge. People told him "When she's later you're going to regret this" and he always thought I'd be his "little girl" bah the little sweet girl who didn't have to worry about this or that? That little sweet girl who was heart broken after every Christmas Concert missed? Every success was merely nothing? Yeah right Al, gimme a break.
I don't need his fuckin' shit. I have my own life to keep running I'm just starting out in the 'real world' and its kinda scary and difficult. Oh ye or annoying faith you have none for me. He didn't want to save money for my colleging, why bother with school? I'm just supposed to find a man, get hit up and depend on him for everything, an allowance so I don't spend too much of his 'precious money'. Well fuck you, I chose to date a person, but I will not depend on them, I depend on myself, they are there to help me if I need it but not become my feet to walk me. Fuck you Al.
You think you're going to be happy in Vancouver, fine. Go be with that woman you call a finacee, but don't come to me crying when she smashes your heart. I don't want anything to do with your vile presence. It makes me ill to think I used to be a great dad, yeah right what great of a father? You were never there, never cared and I'm tired of it.
Tired of people who say they care but don't. If you don't fucking well care if you 'give up' on me because I'm too 'difficult' then leave me, I don't need you trying to annoy me. I don't need this shit in my life. I'm happy with Dustin, anyone who objects can fuck themselves. Its my life, my relationship. Thank you for the warnings and advice but millions of people telling me the same shit. You want to be helpful actually congratulate us on doing this! Thanks but no one really has.
I'm tired of it all really, why am I not surprised? Why is it that I don't care for some people anymore? Why is it that I can juse forget about the past and move on, but yet with others I couldn't? Strength hast thou returned? Yes indeed you have. And with it I have the strength to strive and get what I want out of life, stop telling me this and that won't work, have a little faith for fuck sakes! Thank you.
Thanks for reading this rant.
~Amanda.
Dustin comes up in one week, seven days from now I'll be so nervous, excited, awake and alive that I won't wanna stop pacing around in Edmonton International until his flight arrives. My goodness I thought it'd never get here! I'm so happy I could squeal, but squealing atm would be bad, my mum and chris would wonder wtf. Thats okay, they wonder wtf about me anyways xD.
Men can be pigs, end of story. I have a sexist father, dated two sexist(or boarderline) men, and worked with one, now two. Men you have dicks yes, but be for warned, its the woman who has the far, far bitchier attitude, I suggest you calm down on the ego trip before I start chopping heads off, and I don't mean the one on your shoulders.
Level 28 in World of Warcraft if anyone cares lol! Yeah yeah big deal right? I worked hard for those levels! I honestly did. But yet I'm just below dirt, a female who doesn't belong in a factory setting. Well guess what I don't care, I can lift the panels, I can lift the extrusion. I can press the drill button, piss off I know how to screw a panel I'm not that blond thank you very much! I hate when people talk down to other people, it really pisses me off, especially when its someone I love. I have a long fuse, it burns and simmers and I shut my mouth and let things slide, unless you start paining people I care for, in which case you're likely to get told.
All I ask for is to be treated like a human, and with respect, yes I'm only 16, going on 17 but god damnit I deserve respect too, and so does my mother. Hell anyone does! Its not right to discriminate! It just GRRRRR, my dad was like that to me and mum for years, and I refuse to put up with it any longer. If you wanna be a sexist pig you better leave my life now, because otherwise you've been officially warned, I'll start in on you and I'll make sure you regret every little dagger of pain. Don't ever push me to the extremes which I can take.
Thank god I'm not a violent person otherwise I wouldn't be typing I'd be murdering someone. My knees ache, I'm tired, and I'm bitchy. I want to be cuddled and held and have to wait, and you know what? I don't fucking well want to. I want it now! Lol! Yes impatient I know, but I've waited so long already, whats another seven or so days? Can't wait, can't wait.
Had to reformat my computer and its still fucked, just fuck it. It works and I don't care anymore its not like I'm on that much anymore anyways, I work ten hours a day, I'm up at four in the morning, out the door at five.
You know who else bothers me though? My dad.
He just doesn't seem to get it, I hate the saying "you want respect you have to earn it." You know why? Because I automatically respect a person for being alive, I give them their diginity and let them strangle themselves, not put the noose around their neck and pull. And thats what he does. He called while I was out with my mother one day to get her newest tattoo and was like "Hey wanna go out and do something today?" I had told him I wasn't free that day, and that Saturday I was free we could do something there. He got attitudistic, and I hung up. Later that night he was still being a jerk so I didn't get to see him before he left.
And it really doesn't phaze me. I don't care what he does, he is abusive and not someone I want my life around. I don't need that shit, hell I didn't call him on Father's Day. Yes I feel bad, but then I remember all the things of mine he missed and it makes this like bittersweet revenge. People told him "When she's later you're going to regret this" and he always thought I'd be his "little girl" bah the little sweet girl who didn't have to worry about this or that? That little sweet girl who was heart broken after every Christmas Concert missed? Every success was merely nothing? Yeah right Al, gimme a break.
I don't need his fuckin' shit. I have my own life to keep running I'm just starting out in the 'real world' and its kinda scary and difficult. Oh ye or annoying faith you have none for me. He didn't want to save money for my colleging, why bother with school? I'm just supposed to find a man, get hit up and depend on him for everything, an allowance so I don't spend too much of his 'precious money'. Well fuck you, I chose to date a person, but I will not depend on them, I depend on myself, they are there to help me if I need it but not become my feet to walk me. Fuck you Al.
You think you're going to be happy in Vancouver, fine. Go be with that woman you call a finacee, but don't come to me crying when she smashes your heart. I don't want anything to do with your vile presence. It makes me ill to think I used to be a great dad, yeah right what great of a father? You were never there, never cared and I'm tired of it.
Tired of people who say they care but don't. If you don't fucking well care if you 'give up' on me because I'm too 'difficult' then leave me, I don't need you trying to annoy me. I don't need this shit in my life. I'm happy with Dustin, anyone who objects can fuck themselves. Its my life, my relationship. Thank you for the warnings and advice but millions of people telling me the same shit. You want to be helpful actually congratulate us on doing this! Thanks but no one really has.
I'm tired of it all really, why am I not surprised? Why is it that I don't care for some people anymore? Why is it that I can juse forget about the past and move on, but yet with others I couldn't? Strength hast thou returned? Yes indeed you have. And with it I have the strength to strive and get what I want out of life, stop telling me this and that won't work, have a little faith for fuck sakes! Thank you.
Thanks for reading this rant.
~Amanda.