Been keeping busy..
Read some sad news today..
Patrick Swayze has Pancreatic Cancer and has only weeks to live.
I could really relate to a couple of secrets posted at fandomsecrets recently.
I never needed to self-medicate like most Bipolars do. When I needed to escape.. I went into my head. Lived out one of many fantasy lives I created from tv shows and movies that I loved. I still do it. Sometimes. Not nearly as much as I used to. I used to live in my head almost 24/7..There were times where literally days would go by and I wouldn't notice...I would be so lost inside my fantasy.
When I was little..well.. sort of little.. It started around 13 years old. I used to do like the person who posted that secret and act out my fantasies in my back yard. Usually listening to my own personal soundtrack. Usually at night.. when no one could see me.
And my "character" in all of these fantasies.. was just like that person in the secret described. A total Mary Sue. LOL!
I remember the moment when I realized that I was a Mary Sue.. I actually got really upset. Cause Mary Sue's are looked down on so much. And so it felt like I was being looked down on.
Like I said, I still do it...but not even close to the extent that I used to. But whenever I need to escape from reality..insted of drinking or whatever.. I do this.
I think that is where the first secret comes in for me. I do get so wrapped up in my fandom and have so much fun.. and enjoy my little fantasies..that sometimes I do think I must be some kind of freak or something to be getting so much out of it. I guess that is why I read fandomsecrets..it is nice to know I am not the only one who gets a little obsessed and that others get the same kinds of things from their fandom that I do from mine.
I also like that some of those people.. the ones who post secrets.. make me feel completely sane compared to them. I read some of the stuff they write and think..well damn..My level of obsession is no where even near as close to theirs. Some of them even make me feel normal. LOL!
I have had so many "Fandoms" over the years.. but I have never been involved in a fandom before like I am with Supernatural. It is my biggest form of escape.
Patrick Swayze has Pancreatic Cancer and has only weeks to live.
I could really relate to a couple of secrets posted at fandomsecrets recently.
I never needed to self-medicate like most Bipolars do. When I needed to escape.. I went into my head. Lived out one of many fantasy lives I created from tv shows and movies that I loved. I still do it. Sometimes. Not nearly as much as I used to. I used to live in my head almost 24/7..There were times where literally days would go by and I wouldn't notice...I would be so lost inside my fantasy.
When I was little..well.. sort of little.. It started around 13 years old. I used to do like the person who posted that secret and act out my fantasies in my back yard. Usually listening to my own personal soundtrack. Usually at night.. when no one could see me.
And my "character" in all of these fantasies.. was just like that person in the secret described. A total Mary Sue. LOL!
I remember the moment when I realized that I was a Mary Sue.. I actually got really upset. Cause Mary Sue's are looked down on so much. And so it felt like I was being looked down on.
Like I said, I still do it...but not even close to the extent that I used to. But whenever I need to escape from reality..insted of drinking or whatever.. I do this.
I think that is where the first secret comes in for me. I do get so wrapped up in my fandom and have so much fun.. and enjoy my little fantasies..that sometimes I do think I must be some kind of freak or something to be getting so much out of it. I guess that is why I read fandomsecrets..it is nice to know I am not the only one who gets a little obsessed and that others get the same kinds of things from their fandom that I do from mine.
I also like that some of those people.. the ones who post secrets.. make me feel completely sane compared to them. I read some of the stuff they write and think..well damn..My level of obsession is no where even near as close to theirs. Some of them even make me feel normal. LOL!
I have had so many "Fandoms" over the years.. but I have never been involved in a fandom before like I am with Supernatural. It is my biggest form of escape.