A few years ago I was in a meeting at work, thinking about anything other than what the meeting was about. This is what came to my mind.
When we are kids we do good things because of the fear of consequences of doing bad things. When we are growing into adults that fear switches into a karma-state, where we think, I'm going to do good, because what comes around, goes around, and we equally pin that on those who treat us poorly, the whole you-reap-what-you-sow thing. Most adults stay here their whole lives and they often question their expectations of others and their lack of happiness. But there is a third step of growth - It's doing what you know to be good, doing what you would do for you, for others, regardless of their actions, because it simply feels better to give, assist and help.
I'm not saying become their punching bag, and eventually you have to decide between the weight of their friendship and your own happiness. But I have learned, that as I practice taking that higher road with myself and my friends who cannot reciprocate my same level of give, it's okay. It's unfair of me to place my expectations of what I can do and do on them to treat me like I treat them. I'm not them, they aren't me. Does that make sense?
And maybe you knew this all along, but I feel this. Sometimes it helps to hear it.
A few years ago I was in a meeting at work, thinking about anything other than what the meeting was about. This is what came to my mind.
When we are kids we do good things because of the fear of consequences of doing bad things.
When we are growing into adults that fear switches into a karma-state, where we think, I'm going to do good, because what comes around, goes around, and we equally pin that on those who treat us poorly, the whole you-reap-what-you-sow thing. Most adults stay here their whole lives and they often question their expectations of others and their lack of happiness.
But there is a third step of growth - It's doing what you know to be good, doing what you would do for you, for others, regardless of their actions, because it simply feels better to give, assist and help.
I'm not saying become their punching bag, and eventually you have to decide between the weight of their friendship and your own happiness. But I have learned, that as I practice taking that higher road with myself and my friends who cannot reciprocate my same level of give, it's okay. It's unfair of me to place my expectations of what I can do and do on them to treat me like I treat them. I'm not them, they aren't me. Does that make sense?
And maybe you knew this all along, but I feel this. Sometimes it helps to hear it.
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