(no subject)
i hate this time of year, and this year i hate it more than i have before, because this year is a lose lose situation...this is the time of year where robbie gets really depressed, he tries to kill himself or just is constantly telling me that he will...this year, being away, i'm afraid of what will happen come december...cuz either i'm abandoning him being so far away and can't get to him when he needs me, or i'm left to realize that all i ever did was make it worse, and that he's better off without me
cuz if things aren't bad this year, its fairly obvious that its because i'm not there, i'd like to believe when he promised me it won't be as bad as last year, but i can feel it, like how from looking at the sky you can tell how bad a storm will be, i just pray that it will work out, that he won't blame me for being so far away, that there is some resolution that i can't see that will magically make this all better, and i can get my happily ever after
because i love him, i love him more than anything in the world, and i would do anything for him, regardless of the cost to me, whether or not it will be the hardest thing i'll ever have to do? i don't know that yet, time will tell, and i'm just hoping this weekend will help...
cuz if things aren't bad this year, its fairly obvious that its because i'm not there, i'd like to believe when he promised me it won't be as bad as last year, but i can feel it, like how from looking at the sky you can tell how bad a storm will be, i just pray that it will work out, that he won't blame me for being so far away, that there is some resolution that i can't see that will magically make this all better, and i can get my happily ever after
because i love him, i love him more than anything in the world, and i would do anything for him, regardless of the cost to me, whether or not it will be the hardest thing i'll ever have to do? i don't know that yet, time will tell, and i'm just hoping this weekend will help...