In response...
In response to this post that Rissy made about the Disneyland trip:
i don't htink my two friends, Erik and Colleen, liked him though
I liked him fine. I was really tired by the time we got there, so I just wanted to go to bed. And I don't smoke, so there wasn't really much for me to do downstairs anyways.
but Erik and Colleen didn't like it. I was really offened.
I'm sorry. I did notice, but didn't say anything because I was a bit offended as well. I couldn't find my stuff, and then when I went to get some clean clothes, I found that all of my dirty clothes had been stuffed into my bag with my clean clothes. You hadn't mentioned wanting the room clean, so when I came in and found my bags moved and stuff put in my bags and stuff, I wasn't quite sure what to think. I don't clean up every morning at home, much less in a hotel. Usually, I just pull all of my stuff off of the bed, and away from the sides of the bed so they have room to make it, and I did all that before I left. I don't recall you saying anything about wanting the room all cleaned up. I appreciate the thought though.
I didn't expect Colleen to notice. It was her birthday and she usually doesn't notice the "little things" people do, unless you stick blinking lights around the focal point.
Hmm, I didn't know you felt that way. I don't feel that way. I'm sorry that you feel that way. Maybe point out when you feel like she isn't appreciating something as much as you expect.
I won't be pressured in to things if I can help it.
That's good, you shouldn't. Sorry if we made it worse. You said no doing stuff in your car until you did, and you also said you had done what Colleen wanted to do in your other car, so I suppose there was pressure to do that, but it was just because Colleen wanted to do it. I'm proud that you weren't pressured into doing something.
Steve and I started fighting about stupid shit
It may have been about "stupid shit", but there was serious yelling and physical abuse going on. And Steve taking his seat belt off a couple of times made it my problem since I was driving. I think you are playing down the fight.
Colleen tried to defend me at one point
You said something, Steve said you were wrong and cast off what you were saying like it was stupid, and Colleen said that in her experience with being around you guys, what you said about him was correct. If you guys are going to have a raging fight with abuse and screaming right in front of us, I don't think Colleen attesting to what she's seen is at all out of line. If we were eavesdropping when we shouldn't have been, that would be different. But to do that in front of us and then get angry when Colleen shares what she's SEEN happen with you guys... Also, I shared some stuff too. I told Steve about how I deal with things differently when I'm in the situation that he had just been in. I don't think I really made much difference though. I wasn't trying to tell him how to be, just trying to help.
Erik was silent the whole time. I wish he would have said something.
I didn't realize at the time how much people would use this to make me out to look like a bad boyfriend for not standing up and stopping him.
I chose to do that for a reason. This was not the birth of Steve having a problem with Colleen. Steve has had a problem for a while. However, up until now, whenever I talk to him about it, he doesn't say he has a problem with her, I just hear about it from other people. When he went off, I figured no good would come out of Colleen or I arguing with him. I wanted to let him speak his mind and get out everything that he wanted to get out. I wanted to hear what he had to say, and I figured the counter arguing would happen at a later date (like I'm doing now), when everybody had had time to think it over. I'm very proud of Colleen for ignoring him and not arguing.
And for the record, eventually I did ask for everyone to be quiet and ride in silence, but he still kept talking.
Maybe Erik will be honest with Steve someday.
huh? Honest about what?
Steve doesn't like Colleen and Colleen doesn't like Steve.
Steve already didn't like Colleen. Colleen doesn't like Steve because she feels like he abused her in ways that he had no business doing.
We had a swim party for Colleen at my house
Yay! That was fun. Thank you for the hospitality :)
But of course, she walks in and instead of saying thank you she says, "You didn't have to clean Rissy, I wouldn't have."
Hmm, I'm sorry, but I can't agree with what you're saying here. As a person who lives in a house must have major cleaning whenever any kind of event is happening in it, I can say that people don't come in and immediately thank us for cleaning our house.
I think what Colleen said did show appreciation, and if you didn't feel like she did, then I think that must have been a communication problem because I know she intended for you to feel appreciated.
But that's Colleen and I don't care.
What's Colleen? And don't say you don't care; you obviously do.
I'm used to not being appreciated.
Umm, martyr much? I'm sorry if you feel unappreciated. I'm sure everybody was very grateful for using your pool. And those people are never at your house, how can you expect them to notice that there's no cat hair when they've not been there before?
However, Colleen was very grateful for the use of my pool, and I was happy for that.
I get the feeling you feel like Colleen has a history of not appreciating what anybody does for her; but that's obviously not the case...
even if Erik wanted to throw me in the air, so that I could have some fun, Colleen would probably feel uneasy.
I'm sorry :( So goes hanging out with ex's. I think keeping a little bit of distance between ex's is a good thing. There wasn't enough distance between you and Cody and you cheated on me. There wasn't enough distance between me and Genoa and I cheated on you. A little bit of physical separation makes it easier to keep things from happening, and for me, it makes it easier to not even think about things happening.
It's not that I have a problem with you or anything. Quite the contrary actually. The problem is: say we're ok being naked around each other, which we pretty much are, right? Say we're ok touching each other in a non sexual way. How much of a step is it to be in contact when naked then? How small a step is it for me to think about some contact that might be inappropriate? Like touching your back; is that bad? Then how small a step is it to other stuff? I dunno, maybe it's totally not an issue for you. But you have to admit that it became a problem for both of us while we were dating, so treating the situation carefully helps make sure nothing happens that shouldn't, which means we can still be friends.
Honestly, I'd rather stay friends for a long time than fuck once and blow the whole friendship (pardon the pun :) ).
It's not like hanging out with Megan and Dan.
To be fair, you and Dan aren't ex's, which does change things a bit.
Alright, I'm not proof reading this. It took long enough to write. Don't take anything I've said as a personal attack. I don't hate you, and as far as I'm concerned, I don't have a problem with you.
Feel free to comment with a vengence. All comments are screened.
i don't htink my two friends, Erik and Colleen, liked him though
I liked him fine. I was really tired by the time we got there, so I just wanted to go to bed. And I don't smoke, so there wasn't really much for me to do downstairs anyways.
but Erik and Colleen didn't like it. I was really offened.
I'm sorry. I did notice, but didn't say anything because I was a bit offended as well. I couldn't find my stuff, and then when I went to get some clean clothes, I found that all of my dirty clothes had been stuffed into my bag with my clean clothes. You hadn't mentioned wanting the room clean, so when I came in and found my bags moved and stuff put in my bags and stuff, I wasn't quite sure what to think. I don't clean up every morning at home, much less in a hotel. Usually, I just pull all of my stuff off of the bed, and away from the sides of the bed so they have room to make it, and I did all that before I left. I don't recall you saying anything about wanting the room all cleaned up. I appreciate the thought though.
I didn't expect Colleen to notice. It was her birthday and she usually doesn't notice the "little things" people do, unless you stick blinking lights around the focal point.
Hmm, I didn't know you felt that way. I don't feel that way. I'm sorry that you feel that way. Maybe point out when you feel like she isn't appreciating something as much as you expect.
I won't be pressured in to things if I can help it.
That's good, you shouldn't. Sorry if we made it worse. You said no doing stuff in your car until you did, and you also said you had done what Colleen wanted to do in your other car, so I suppose there was pressure to do that, but it was just because Colleen wanted to do it. I'm proud that you weren't pressured into doing something.
Steve and I started fighting about stupid shit
It may have been about "stupid shit", but there was serious yelling and physical abuse going on. And Steve taking his seat belt off a couple of times made it my problem since I was driving. I think you are playing down the fight.
Colleen tried to defend me at one point
You said something, Steve said you were wrong and cast off what you were saying like it was stupid, and Colleen said that in her experience with being around you guys, what you said about him was correct. If you guys are going to have a raging fight with abuse and screaming right in front of us, I don't think Colleen attesting to what she's seen is at all out of line. If we were eavesdropping when we shouldn't have been, that would be different. But to do that in front of us and then get angry when Colleen shares what she's SEEN happen with you guys... Also, I shared some stuff too. I told Steve about how I deal with things differently when I'm in the situation that he had just been in. I don't think I really made much difference though. I wasn't trying to tell him how to be, just trying to help.
Erik was silent the whole time. I wish he would have said something.
I didn't realize at the time how much people would use this to make me out to look like a bad boyfriend for not standing up and stopping him.
I chose to do that for a reason. This was not the birth of Steve having a problem with Colleen. Steve has had a problem for a while. However, up until now, whenever I talk to him about it, he doesn't say he has a problem with her, I just hear about it from other people. When he went off, I figured no good would come out of Colleen or I arguing with him. I wanted to let him speak his mind and get out everything that he wanted to get out. I wanted to hear what he had to say, and I figured the counter arguing would happen at a later date (like I'm doing now), when everybody had had time to think it over. I'm very proud of Colleen for ignoring him and not arguing.
And for the record, eventually I did ask for everyone to be quiet and ride in silence, but he still kept talking.
Maybe Erik will be honest with Steve someday.
huh? Honest about what?
Steve doesn't like Colleen and Colleen doesn't like Steve.
Steve already didn't like Colleen. Colleen doesn't like Steve because she feels like he abused her in ways that he had no business doing.
We had a swim party for Colleen at my house
Yay! That was fun. Thank you for the hospitality :)
But of course, she walks in and instead of saying thank you she says, "You didn't have to clean Rissy, I wouldn't have."
Hmm, I'm sorry, but I can't agree with what you're saying here. As a person who lives in a house must have major cleaning whenever any kind of event is happening in it, I can say that people don't come in and immediately thank us for cleaning our house.
I think what Colleen said did show appreciation, and if you didn't feel like she did, then I think that must have been a communication problem because I know she intended for you to feel appreciated.
But that's Colleen and I don't care.
What's Colleen? And don't say you don't care; you obviously do.
I'm used to not being appreciated.
Umm, martyr much? I'm sorry if you feel unappreciated. I'm sure everybody was very grateful for using your pool. And those people are never at your house, how can you expect them to notice that there's no cat hair when they've not been there before?
However, Colleen was very grateful for the use of my pool, and I was happy for that.
I get the feeling you feel like Colleen has a history of not appreciating what anybody does for her; but that's obviously not the case...
even if Erik wanted to throw me in the air, so that I could have some fun, Colleen would probably feel uneasy.
I'm sorry :( So goes hanging out with ex's. I think keeping a little bit of distance between ex's is a good thing. There wasn't enough distance between you and Cody and you cheated on me. There wasn't enough distance between me and Genoa and I cheated on you. A little bit of physical separation makes it easier to keep things from happening, and for me, it makes it easier to not even think about things happening.
It's not that I have a problem with you or anything. Quite the contrary actually. The problem is: say we're ok being naked around each other, which we pretty much are, right? Say we're ok touching each other in a non sexual way. How much of a step is it to be in contact when naked then? How small a step is it for me to think about some contact that might be inappropriate? Like touching your back; is that bad? Then how small a step is it to other stuff? I dunno, maybe it's totally not an issue for you. But you have to admit that it became a problem for both of us while we were dating, so treating the situation carefully helps make sure nothing happens that shouldn't, which means we can still be friends.
Honestly, I'd rather stay friends for a long time than fuck once and blow the whole friendship (pardon the pun :) ).
It's not like hanging out with Megan and Dan.
To be fair, you and Dan aren't ex's, which does change things a bit.
Alright, I'm not proof reading this. It took long enough to write. Don't take anything I've said as a personal attack. I don't hate you, and as far as I'm concerned, I don't have a problem with you.
Feel free to comment with a vengence. All comments are screened.