i has a sad
I'm having one of those moments that often accompanies being a bit bored and lonesome at work:
I miss Peter Petrelli.
I just can't get enough of the guy. I used to be able to cozy up even during hiatusi by spooling out a bit of fanfic, or reading that of others - or even just watching old episodes. But for the last six months I've had to keep all things Heroes so strictly segregated in my mind, and in my life, lest it conflict with my ability to concentrate on my pro-fic project (which is, thankfully, coming to an end very soon - along with the end of this season of the show). It's been much more painful than I could have imagined. I thought I could handle it - just a little mental discipline required, stick Peter and the rest into a little box in my mind while I engaged myself in something else. Instead, I've been miserable, and half-sick with longing and resentment.
I miss my guy. I miss my show. I think it's definitely time for a Season 1 rewatch - maybe not marathon-style of the whole season (I haven't got time; I have ten or twelve free hours on Sunday, MAYBE, and 22 hours of show), but at least my highlights. I haven't watched the Petrelli brunch scene in ages; I haven't watched Nathan crying over his brother's lifeless body in ages. I haven't watched the Odessa prison sequence. (I also haven't watched Mr. Muggles lick shoelaces in forever, which is also not right.)
And many many more hours and much more work must be done before I can even rectify this. (I must not watch the show, any part of it, or read about it, or really even think about it, until Sunday.) Sometimes this is just so painful. I know it's just the hormones talking, but still. It's so hellish to give up something so emotionally important to me, whether or not anyone else understands.
I miss Peter Petrelli.
I just can't get enough of the guy. I used to be able to cozy up even during hiatusi by spooling out a bit of fanfic, or reading that of others - or even just watching old episodes. But for the last six months I've had to keep all things Heroes so strictly segregated in my mind, and in my life, lest it conflict with my ability to concentrate on my pro-fic project (which is, thankfully, coming to an end very soon - along with the end of this season of the show). It's been much more painful than I could have imagined. I thought I could handle it - just a little mental discipline required, stick Peter and the rest into a little box in my mind while I engaged myself in something else. Instead, I've been miserable, and half-sick with longing and resentment.
I miss my guy. I miss my show. I think it's definitely time for a Season 1 rewatch - maybe not marathon-style of the whole season (I haven't got time; I have ten or twelve free hours on Sunday, MAYBE, and 22 hours of show), but at least my highlights. I haven't watched the Petrelli brunch scene in ages; I haven't watched Nathan crying over his brother's lifeless body in ages. I haven't watched the Odessa prison sequence. (I also haven't watched Mr. Muggles lick shoelaces in forever, which is also not right.)
And many many more hours and much more work must be done before I can even rectify this. (I must not watch the show, any part of it, or read about it, or really even think about it, until Sunday.) Sometimes this is just so painful. I know it's just the hormones talking, but still. It's so hellish to give up something so emotionally important to me, whether or not anyone else understands.