Fic: Ritual (29): Truth Will Out
Title: Ritual (29): Truth Will Out
Pairing/Characters: implied Nathan/Peter, Heidi, Angela
Rating: R
Spoilers: through 2.11, "Powerless"
Word Count: about 2700
Warnings: Language, angst
Summary: A new arc begins... While in the hospital recovering from his Peter-produced radiation burns, Nathan tells Heidi everything. Really everything. Edited slightly to change structure.
Previous rituals:
(1) :: (2) :: (3) :: (4) :: (5) :: (6) :: (7) :: (8) :: (9) :: (10) :: (11) :: (12) :: (13) :: (14) :: (15) :: (16) :: (17) :: (18) :: (19) :: (20) :: (21) :: (22) :: (23) :: (24) :: (25) :: (26) :: (27) :: (28)
Heroes is the property of NBC/Universal and Tailwinds Productions. This is a work of fan fiction. Dialogue from Heroes episode 208, "Four Months Ago", written by Tim Kring, used and remixed without permission.
21 JANUARY 2007
It wasn't much of an anniversary party. Just Heidi and Nathan, and the IV, and the wretched smells of slow-healing flesh and disinfectant, the gentle constant beeping of the monitors. At least the doctors had wrapped his body in saline-soaked bandages, then plastic wrap, so he could at least wear a shirt and not lie there looking like a piece of overcooked meat. This was the first time he could have an extended visit; before this week, he couldn't stay conscious long enough for it to be worth it. He was healing, but it couldn't happen fast enough; he was wasting away, his system unable to handle the massive load of having to rebuild forty-five percent of the skin on his body. Heidi held his less-ravaged hand, and Nathan took deep breaths, trying to force away the sensation of pain and concentrate on the pleasure of finally being touched. He couldn't do it - either he felt the pain, too, or he felt nothing.
"I can't get you anything nice this year," Nathan said in his new voice, scraped, whispery, slowed to a mumble by all of the morphine and Fentanyl in his bloodstream. "Sorry."
"I'm just grateful that you're alive," Heidi said.
"How are the kids?"
Heidi hesitated for a moment before answering. "They're confused," she said. "I can't say I blame them. I'm so confused I..." She shrugged. "I've gone out the other side. I almost don't care what happened. Something tells me it won't make sense. Or that you'll just lie to me again." She tried to smile. "I think you thought you were protecting me. And I guess it was for a very good reason. Can you... please... tell me what happened? Tell me the truth?" She very, very gently squeezed Nathan's hand, making him groan a little, and tightly grip his morphine-drip trigger.
Momentarily, Nathan relaxed again, and closed his eyes, and Heidi took her hand away from his, staring anxiously, wondering if he was going to slip back into unconsciousness. But he opened his eyes, and gazed at her, tilting his head so that he could see her with the eye that still functioned. "I'll tell you the truth. You deserve that. And I can't hide anymore. I'm not gonna make it, Heidi," he said. "I'm on my way out. Maybe another two weeks; maybe three. I don't want the boys to see me like this. It's different; they're children. I don't want to be in their nightmares for the rest of their lives. I'll talk to them on the phone. But you... I can't hide from you anymore. I don't want to. There'll be no more lies between us... even if you don't like what you hear. And then what you do when you know the truth... is up to you."
"Please... let me know," she replied, her voice shaking, but controlled and calm.
"The world isn't what you think it is," he said. He paused there, breathing deeply, suddenly feeling the morphine he'd just pulled down; he felt pleasantly euphoric, but mostly just very free. All the weight of what he'd had to hide, all this time, was about to be lifted from his shoulders. "I'm not what you think I am. Neither is Peter. Or my mother. Or my father. Or my daughter."
"Your what?"
"Claire. That young girl who was at Mom's house the day before the election... little, blonde. Very attached to Peter." Nathan gave an uneven sigh that had to stand in place of a laugh. "She's my daughter. I... had a small fling with a woman named Meredith, her mother, when I was in Corpus Christi in... 1990. Maybe a month and a half. I spent all this time thinking that she was dead. Her, and her baby. It was a lie. A tiny, small part of a bigger lie... a lie that was told to me all my life."
"That's a tiny, small part?" Heidi repeated in disbelief. "An illegitmate daughter, that you thought was dead, is a 'tiny small part'?" She blustered wordlessly for a moment. "What in the world do you mean?"
"I mean... Peter didn't try to kill himself. Our car accident... wasn't an accident. It was a murder attempt, or worse, it was a smokeout. They were trying to force a display out of me. And if I was killed - if you and I were both killed - oh well." Nathan closed his eyes and his voice dropped to a whisper, gathering up his strength. "I survived that car wreck because I flew out of it. Flew. Up, like a bird. I saw the work of a man who can paint the future, and I saw the pictures he painted come true. I met a Japanese man who told me he could bend space and time... and I believe him. Peter...takes on the abilities of others. Figures, huh? He got too close to a human bomb, lost control, and almost took out the city. I flew him away to safety, for the city, anyway, if not me." He opened his eyes again, and said, "There's something happening to the human race. Some of us can do things that shouldn't be possible."
"Nathan, you're dreaming. You dreamed all that. It's not true. It can't be."
"So how did I survive the accident?" he insisted.
She blinked and shrugged. "You were thrown clear," she said. "You weren't wearing your seatbelt. That's what you said."
"How did you come to be able to walk again?"
"Spontaneous neural regeneration," she said desperately. "It happens, Nathan."
"What happens is Linderman held your hand, and he healed you. That was his ability; he could heal by touch. And he owned me because of what he'd done for you. He owned me a thousand times over. Because my mom and dad sold me to him when I was just a child." Nathan's voice hitched a little, but he made sure not to let his eyes prickle with tears - the sting of salt water across his burned eyelids wasn't worth it. "My whole campaign was bought and sold by him, you know. I was manipulated towards this my entire life - towards winning that election, heading towards the White House... so it could fall under their control. Linderman. My mother. They wanted Peter to go off, to explode, and kill millions, and I was going to let them. They were very good at shaping me to really want what they wanted for me. And I do. I still do. I still want to be President." He actually smiled, if a vague lifting of the side of his mouth counted as such. "But not so much that I can handle all that blood on my hands. Not enough to risk Peter."
Heidi wore what could also be termed a smile, but looked more like she was going to be sick. "And me?"
Nathan didn't look away as he said, "I barely gave you a moment's thought... not at the time."
Heidi gulped, and nodded a little, processing the information. "Peter's more important to you than anything," she said, stating the fact calmly. "Me, the kids... anything."
He looked at her, steady-eyed, his voice low. "I love him," he confirmed.
"You love him too much," Heidi said.
"Yes..." Nathan agreed. "Much too much. I'm in love with him. Genuinely."
Heidi let out her breath in a soft huff. "I've never heard it put quite that way before," she remarked.
"I'm in love with him," Nathan repeated. "We're in love. We are lovers."
Heidi stood frozen, her eyes going wide and strange. "You mean... you..."
"Yes. I mean we fuck." He quivered for a moment, remembering the sensation as best he could, parts of him coming alive that had been mostly burned away... It hurt so much he tapped his morphine trigger again. "We are lovers. We love each other completely. I'm in love with him." His voice became soft and vulnerable, and he blinked rapidly, forcing the tears back into his eyes. One escaped, and cut a line of sizzling pain over his cheek. Once upon a time, Heidi would have gently blotted away the saltwater, but now she let it lie. Nathan accepted that. There wasn't anything he could do about it, and nothing she should.
She found her voice at last, and it was cold and hard, curved with disbelief. "You have sex with him?" she said. "With your brother?"
"Yes," Nathan replied. "Whenever we can."
"That's... that's disgusting."
"Yes."
"That's - revolting. That's illegal."
"Yes, I know. It's not as though we didn't try to stop. I tried to make it stop, early on... before I understood that there was nothing we could do."
"Early on? How long has this been going on?"
"I've been in love with him since... since he was about twelve," he said. Heidi gasped. "He's been in love with me all his life. I can... guarantee you that."
"My God... How long have you been... having sex with each other?" she insisted, grimacing distastefully at the words.
"Since before I met you," Nathan answered.
She looked freaked out. "And you... continued, afterward?"
"Yes," he said. "I need him. And he needs me. We fulfill each other. We protect each other. I make him stronger, and he makes me softer. I can't live without him. I can't live without loving him. And yes, we have to make it physical. Absolutely. I need him. And he needs me."
"You keep saying that," Heidi said. She shook her head. "You're crazy. This isn't real. That can't be real. You - I - in our house?"
"Everywhere," Nathan said. "Usually at his place, though-"
"In our bed?"
"No," Nathan replied, "never in our bed... our new bed, anyway. Back in the apartment-"
Heidi cut him off with a shuddery groan, and Nathan fell silent for a while, and let her catch her bearings. She let go of his hand and walked around the room, arms locked around herself, shaking her head. "You're delusional," she said. "First you tell me you can fly, and then you tell me that you and Peter have been carrying on an affair behind my back. I don't know what to think, Nathan, but I think I have to talk to your doctor about you. Your brain, probably... you're suffering from radiation poisoning..."
"And where would I get radiation poisoning, Heidi?" Nathan broke in. "In the middle of Manhattan? And where is Peter? How could this have happened to me?"
"I don't know, Nathan, I don't know. But I just can't..."
"I've told you the truth," Nathan said wearily. "I love him more than life itself. I thought I would die up there with him; I thought it would fix it. We'd be gone, and the secrets with us. I could protect him, and I could protect myself, and you, and the kids. I will be gone soon. And I can't lie to you anymore. I have to tell someone, and I love you. I love you. And I'm in love with Peter, and I've never told anyone that before, ever in my life. I can't lie to you anymore. I can fly. Or I could. I don't think I can now. I don't think I ever will again. But... I could. I wanted to... I really wanted to take you out with me, give you a tour of the skyscrapers, show you how beautiful the bridges look at night, all lit up, with the cars on them. But I didn't want to be different. I wanted to be exactly what everyone expected me to be. You." He nodded at her. "You wanted me to be Nathan Petrelli, ambitious, bright, virile, no-bullshit, the perfect husband."
"You were never the perfect husband," Heidi said. She smiled a little. "You're too much of a skirt chaser."
Nathan chuckled. "Ironic, isn't it?"
"I don't believe it," Heidi said. "There's no way I can believe that. Why? I mean, I understand a little youthful experimentation, but... when was the last time you were supposedly together?"
"Just after Dad died," Nathan said.
"While I was in the hospital," Heidi added.
"Yes," said Nathan simply.
Heidi just stared at him for a while. "You're done with," she said.
"I'm dying," he replied. "I'm done with for sure. One way or the other. I just didn't want to lie to you anymore. I love you too much for that, and I'm sorry I didn't realize that until it was too late. Now you know. And you can smear my name all over the world, if you want. I almost wish you would. Expose this lie - expose my mother for the monster that she is. She would have let Peter die. She moves human beings around like chess pieces, and they have no idea why their lives are the way they are. She plays with lives like dolls. She and her cronies. Linderman. My father. My father," Nathan said, looking at Heidi desperately, and she returned to his side and clasped his hand again. "I don't know what side he was on. Maybe both. All I know is that he killed himself, and he tried over and over again until he succeeded. That's my Dad - if at first you don't succeed, try another method. I - I couldn't bring that to you, after what happened to you, knowing it was my fault. I was wearing my seat belt." He laughed faintly. "Remember, you reminded me to buckle up, just as we were leaving. I grumbled, but I put it on. Somehow, I undid it again, and then I floated away, and I couldn't save you. It's the story of our relationship, in a way, isn't it?"
The door opened, and Angela stood there looking immaculate in her dove-gray coat, and desperately worried; she excused herself, sounding embarrassed. Heidi and Nathan exchanged a look; Angela Petrelli, visibly embarrassed? "I'm going to go and talk to her," Heidi said. "I think... I need to go away and think about things for a while." Heidi let go of his hand, and let her arm drop to her side. "Our relationship is over, Nathan. Make no mistake about that. I can't... I can't pretend that the things you've said haven't been painful. Whether they're true or not, you said them to me, and I'll never forget them. I don't understand why you'd say these things to me if they weren't true, and if they are true-"
"They are true," Nathan said.
"If they are true?" She stared at him unflinchingly. "You are the most degenerate person I've ever met. Completely sick. Wrong. A chronic liar, a closeted homosexual-"
"It's not like that-"
"Nathan, come on. You just said so yourself. And a child molester. I'm sure. Right? This is something you started doing when you were kids playing Doctor, and you just never stopped? But you weren't a kid when Peter was, were you?"
"We weren't kids. He was young."
"You said twelve."
"I said I fell in love with him then," Nathan said. "We didn't... make anything physical for quite some time after that. Until he was older. I wouldn't let it happen. I didn't know I had fallen in love with him. I thought it was impossible, too... I made his life a living hell, because I wouldn't admit it, and he wanted me so much... he started it, and he wouldn't let me go, and I stopped resisting him..."
"I'm going," said Heidi. "And you won't see your children again. I'll do everything in my power to make sure you're not allowed in the same room with them. You can't be trusted, even around family members. Or children."
"I'm sorry," Nathan offered. "I'm more sorry than... my death will only make up for so much. There's no way I can atone. I don't ask your forgiveness; I don't deserve it. I don't even ask you to understand. I just wanted to tell you."
"You need a priest," she said, and left the room.
Nathan jabbed his morphine trigger again, and relaxed. "Not quite yet," he murmured to himself. "Not quite yet."
Outside in the hall, Angela waited for Heidi. "Are you all right?" Angela asked with concern.
"He said it was all a lie... what happened to him, to Peter... the things he said about Peter..." Heidi stared at her, at Nathan's mother. "Did you know?"
"Know what, dear?" Angela replied quietly, kindly, gently stroking Heidi's arm. "Nathan is not himself. There is a deep, dark secret in the Petrelli family..."
TO BE CONTINUED IN RITUAL 30, COMING SOON
A/N: This fic is similar to Ritual 3, "The Moment When Everything Happens", and Ritual 11, "The Queen of Diamonds" - non-porny, quick flashes into important turning points in Peter and Nathan's relationship. This "Truth" story arc is about the results of Peter and Nathan both telling other people about their freaky, beautiful love thing for the very first time. I don't imagine it will spoil anyone if I say here that the next story concerns what happens when Peter confesses to Adam Monroe... Stay tuned, and thanks for reading. And sorry for the previous bad formatting fuckups.
Pairing/Characters: implied Nathan/Peter, Heidi, Angela
Rating: R
Spoilers: through 2.11, "Powerless"
Word Count: about 2700
Warnings: Language, angst
Summary: A new arc begins... While in the hospital recovering from his Peter-produced radiation burns, Nathan tells Heidi everything. Really everything. Edited slightly to change structure.
Previous rituals:
(1) :: (2) :: (3) :: (4) :: (5) :: (6) :: (7) :: (8) :: (9) :: (10) :: (11) :: (12) :: (13) :: (14) :: (15) :: (16) :: (17) :: (18) :: (19) :: (20) :: (21) :: (22) :: (23) :: (24) :: (25) :: (26) :: (27) :: (28)
Heroes is the property of NBC/Universal and Tailwinds Productions. This is a work of fan fiction. Dialogue from Heroes episode 208, "Four Months Ago", written by Tim Kring, used and remixed without permission.
21 JANUARY 2007
It wasn't much of an anniversary party. Just Heidi and Nathan, and the IV, and the wretched smells of slow-healing flesh and disinfectant, the gentle constant beeping of the monitors. At least the doctors had wrapped his body in saline-soaked bandages, then plastic wrap, so he could at least wear a shirt and not lie there looking like a piece of overcooked meat. This was the first time he could have an extended visit; before this week, he couldn't stay conscious long enough for it to be worth it. He was healing, but it couldn't happen fast enough; he was wasting away, his system unable to handle the massive load of having to rebuild forty-five percent of the skin on his body. Heidi held his less-ravaged hand, and Nathan took deep breaths, trying to force away the sensation of pain and concentrate on the pleasure of finally being touched. He couldn't do it - either he felt the pain, too, or he felt nothing.
"I can't get you anything nice this year," Nathan said in his new voice, scraped, whispery, slowed to a mumble by all of the morphine and Fentanyl in his bloodstream. "Sorry."
"I'm just grateful that you're alive," Heidi said.
"How are the kids?"
Heidi hesitated for a moment before answering. "They're confused," she said. "I can't say I blame them. I'm so confused I..." She shrugged. "I've gone out the other side. I almost don't care what happened. Something tells me it won't make sense. Or that you'll just lie to me again." She tried to smile. "I think you thought you were protecting me. And I guess it was for a very good reason. Can you... please... tell me what happened? Tell me the truth?" She very, very gently squeezed Nathan's hand, making him groan a little, and tightly grip his morphine-drip trigger.
Momentarily, Nathan relaxed again, and closed his eyes, and Heidi took her hand away from his, staring anxiously, wondering if he was going to slip back into unconsciousness. But he opened his eyes, and gazed at her, tilting his head so that he could see her with the eye that still functioned. "I'll tell you the truth. You deserve that. And I can't hide anymore. I'm not gonna make it, Heidi," he said. "I'm on my way out. Maybe another two weeks; maybe three. I don't want the boys to see me like this. It's different; they're children. I don't want to be in their nightmares for the rest of their lives. I'll talk to them on the phone. But you... I can't hide from you anymore. I don't want to. There'll be no more lies between us... even if you don't like what you hear. And then what you do when you know the truth... is up to you."
"Please... let me know," she replied, her voice shaking, but controlled and calm.
"The world isn't what you think it is," he said. He paused there, breathing deeply, suddenly feeling the morphine he'd just pulled down; he felt pleasantly euphoric, but mostly just very free. All the weight of what he'd had to hide, all this time, was about to be lifted from his shoulders. "I'm not what you think I am. Neither is Peter. Or my mother. Or my father. Or my daughter."
"Your what?"
"Claire. That young girl who was at Mom's house the day before the election... little, blonde. Very attached to Peter." Nathan gave an uneven sigh that had to stand in place of a laugh. "She's my daughter. I... had a small fling with a woman named Meredith, her mother, when I was in Corpus Christi in... 1990. Maybe a month and a half. I spent all this time thinking that she was dead. Her, and her baby. It was a lie. A tiny, small part of a bigger lie... a lie that was told to me all my life."
"That's a tiny, small part?" Heidi repeated in disbelief. "An illegitmate daughter, that you thought was dead, is a 'tiny small part'?" She blustered wordlessly for a moment. "What in the world do you mean?"
"I mean... Peter didn't try to kill himself. Our car accident... wasn't an accident. It was a murder attempt, or worse, it was a smokeout. They were trying to force a display out of me. And if I was killed - if you and I were both killed - oh well." Nathan closed his eyes and his voice dropped to a whisper, gathering up his strength. "I survived that car wreck because I flew out of it. Flew. Up, like a bird. I saw the work of a man who can paint the future, and I saw the pictures he painted come true. I met a Japanese man who told me he could bend space and time... and I believe him. Peter...takes on the abilities of others. Figures, huh? He got too close to a human bomb, lost control, and almost took out the city. I flew him away to safety, for the city, anyway, if not me." He opened his eyes again, and said, "There's something happening to the human race. Some of us can do things that shouldn't be possible."
"Nathan, you're dreaming. You dreamed all that. It's not true. It can't be."
"So how did I survive the accident?" he insisted.
She blinked and shrugged. "You were thrown clear," she said. "You weren't wearing your seatbelt. That's what you said."
"How did you come to be able to walk again?"
"Spontaneous neural regeneration," she said desperately. "It happens, Nathan."
"What happens is Linderman held your hand, and he healed you. That was his ability; he could heal by touch. And he owned me because of what he'd done for you. He owned me a thousand times over. Because my mom and dad sold me to him when I was just a child." Nathan's voice hitched a little, but he made sure not to let his eyes prickle with tears - the sting of salt water across his burned eyelids wasn't worth it. "My whole campaign was bought and sold by him, you know. I was manipulated towards this my entire life - towards winning that election, heading towards the White House... so it could fall under their control. Linderman. My mother. They wanted Peter to go off, to explode, and kill millions, and I was going to let them. They were very good at shaping me to really want what they wanted for me. And I do. I still do. I still want to be President." He actually smiled, if a vague lifting of the side of his mouth counted as such. "But not so much that I can handle all that blood on my hands. Not enough to risk Peter."
Heidi wore what could also be termed a smile, but looked more like she was going to be sick. "And me?"
Nathan didn't look away as he said, "I barely gave you a moment's thought... not at the time."
Heidi gulped, and nodded a little, processing the information. "Peter's more important to you than anything," she said, stating the fact calmly. "Me, the kids... anything."
He looked at her, steady-eyed, his voice low. "I love him," he confirmed.
"You love him too much," Heidi said.
"Yes..." Nathan agreed. "Much too much. I'm in love with him. Genuinely."
Heidi let out her breath in a soft huff. "I've never heard it put quite that way before," she remarked.
"I'm in love with him," Nathan repeated. "We're in love. We are lovers."
Heidi stood frozen, her eyes going wide and strange. "You mean... you..."
"Yes. I mean we fuck." He quivered for a moment, remembering the sensation as best he could, parts of him coming alive that had been mostly burned away... It hurt so much he tapped his morphine trigger again. "We are lovers. We love each other completely. I'm in love with him." His voice became soft and vulnerable, and he blinked rapidly, forcing the tears back into his eyes. One escaped, and cut a line of sizzling pain over his cheek. Once upon a time, Heidi would have gently blotted away the saltwater, but now she let it lie. Nathan accepted that. There wasn't anything he could do about it, and nothing she should.
She found her voice at last, and it was cold and hard, curved with disbelief. "You have sex with him?" she said. "With your brother?"
"Yes," Nathan replied. "Whenever we can."
"That's... that's disgusting."
"Yes."
"That's - revolting. That's illegal."
"Yes, I know. It's not as though we didn't try to stop. I tried to make it stop, early on... before I understood that there was nothing we could do."
"Early on? How long has this been going on?"
"I've been in love with him since... since he was about twelve," he said. Heidi gasped. "He's been in love with me all his life. I can... guarantee you that."
"My God... How long have you been... having sex with each other?" she insisted, grimacing distastefully at the words.
"Since before I met you," Nathan answered.
She looked freaked out. "And you... continued, afterward?"
"Yes," he said. "I need him. And he needs me. We fulfill each other. We protect each other. I make him stronger, and he makes me softer. I can't live without him. I can't live without loving him. And yes, we have to make it physical. Absolutely. I need him. And he needs me."
"You keep saying that," Heidi said. She shook her head. "You're crazy. This isn't real. That can't be real. You - I - in our house?"
"Everywhere," Nathan said. "Usually at his place, though-"
"In our bed?"
"No," Nathan replied, "never in our bed... our new bed, anyway. Back in the apartment-"
Heidi cut him off with a shuddery groan, and Nathan fell silent for a while, and let her catch her bearings. She let go of his hand and walked around the room, arms locked around herself, shaking her head. "You're delusional," she said. "First you tell me you can fly, and then you tell me that you and Peter have been carrying on an affair behind my back. I don't know what to think, Nathan, but I think I have to talk to your doctor about you. Your brain, probably... you're suffering from radiation poisoning..."
"And where would I get radiation poisoning, Heidi?" Nathan broke in. "In the middle of Manhattan? And where is Peter? How could this have happened to me?"
"I don't know, Nathan, I don't know. But I just can't..."
"I've told you the truth," Nathan said wearily. "I love him more than life itself. I thought I would die up there with him; I thought it would fix it. We'd be gone, and the secrets with us. I could protect him, and I could protect myself, and you, and the kids. I will be gone soon. And I can't lie to you anymore. I have to tell someone, and I love you. I love you. And I'm in love with Peter, and I've never told anyone that before, ever in my life. I can't lie to you anymore. I can fly. Or I could. I don't think I can now. I don't think I ever will again. But... I could. I wanted to... I really wanted to take you out with me, give you a tour of the skyscrapers, show you how beautiful the bridges look at night, all lit up, with the cars on them. But I didn't want to be different. I wanted to be exactly what everyone expected me to be. You." He nodded at her. "You wanted me to be Nathan Petrelli, ambitious, bright, virile, no-bullshit, the perfect husband."
"You were never the perfect husband," Heidi said. She smiled a little. "You're too much of a skirt chaser."
Nathan chuckled. "Ironic, isn't it?"
"I don't believe it," Heidi said. "There's no way I can believe that. Why? I mean, I understand a little youthful experimentation, but... when was the last time you were supposedly together?"
"Just after Dad died," Nathan said.
"While I was in the hospital," Heidi added.
"Yes," said Nathan simply.
Heidi just stared at him for a while. "You're done with," she said.
"I'm dying," he replied. "I'm done with for sure. One way or the other. I just didn't want to lie to you anymore. I love you too much for that, and I'm sorry I didn't realize that until it was too late. Now you know. And you can smear my name all over the world, if you want. I almost wish you would. Expose this lie - expose my mother for the monster that she is. She would have let Peter die. She moves human beings around like chess pieces, and they have no idea why their lives are the way they are. She plays with lives like dolls. She and her cronies. Linderman. My father. My father," Nathan said, looking at Heidi desperately, and she returned to his side and clasped his hand again. "I don't know what side he was on. Maybe both. All I know is that he killed himself, and he tried over and over again until he succeeded. That's my Dad - if at first you don't succeed, try another method. I - I couldn't bring that to you, after what happened to you, knowing it was my fault. I was wearing my seat belt." He laughed faintly. "Remember, you reminded me to buckle up, just as we were leaving. I grumbled, but I put it on. Somehow, I undid it again, and then I floated away, and I couldn't save you. It's the story of our relationship, in a way, isn't it?"
The door opened, and Angela stood there looking immaculate in her dove-gray coat, and desperately worried; she excused herself, sounding embarrassed. Heidi and Nathan exchanged a look; Angela Petrelli, visibly embarrassed? "I'm going to go and talk to her," Heidi said. "I think... I need to go away and think about things for a while." Heidi let go of his hand, and let her arm drop to her side. "Our relationship is over, Nathan. Make no mistake about that. I can't... I can't pretend that the things you've said haven't been painful. Whether they're true or not, you said them to me, and I'll never forget them. I don't understand why you'd say these things to me if they weren't true, and if they are true-"
"They are true," Nathan said.
"If they are true?" She stared at him unflinchingly. "You are the most degenerate person I've ever met. Completely sick. Wrong. A chronic liar, a closeted homosexual-"
"It's not like that-"
"Nathan, come on. You just said so yourself. And a child molester. I'm sure. Right? This is something you started doing when you were kids playing Doctor, and you just never stopped? But you weren't a kid when Peter was, were you?"
"We weren't kids. He was young."
"You said twelve."
"I said I fell in love with him then," Nathan said. "We didn't... make anything physical for quite some time after that. Until he was older. I wouldn't let it happen. I didn't know I had fallen in love with him. I thought it was impossible, too... I made his life a living hell, because I wouldn't admit it, and he wanted me so much... he started it, and he wouldn't let me go, and I stopped resisting him..."
"I'm going," said Heidi. "And you won't see your children again. I'll do everything in my power to make sure you're not allowed in the same room with them. You can't be trusted, even around family members. Or children."
"I'm sorry," Nathan offered. "I'm more sorry than... my death will only make up for so much. There's no way I can atone. I don't ask your forgiveness; I don't deserve it. I don't even ask you to understand. I just wanted to tell you."
"You need a priest," she said, and left the room.
Nathan jabbed his morphine trigger again, and relaxed. "Not quite yet," he murmured to himself. "Not quite yet."
Outside in the hall, Angela waited for Heidi. "Are you all right?" Angela asked with concern.
"He said it was all a lie... what happened to him, to Peter... the things he said about Peter..." Heidi stared at her, at Nathan's mother. "Did you know?"
"Know what, dear?" Angela replied quietly, kindly, gently stroking Heidi's arm. "Nathan is not himself. There is a deep, dark secret in the Petrelli family..."
TO BE CONTINUED IN RITUAL 30, COMING SOON
A/N: This fic is similar to Ritual 3, "The Moment When Everything Happens", and Ritual 11, "The Queen of Diamonds" - non-porny, quick flashes into important turning points in Peter and Nathan's relationship. This "Truth" story arc is about the results of Peter and Nathan both telling other people about their freaky, beautiful love thing for the very first time. I don't imagine it will spoil anyone if I say here that the next story concerns what happens when Peter confesses to Adam Monroe... Stay tuned, and thanks for reading. And sorry for the previous bad formatting fuckups.