Fic: Ritual (17): I Don't Know Who I Am Without You

[mystery_sock]

Title: Ritual (17): I Don't Know Who I Am Without You
Pairing: Peter/Nathan
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: 2x01, "Four Months Later"
Word Count: 4600
Warnings: Incest, m/m sex, alcohol, language
Summary: The emotionally shattered Nathan has a drink (or five) and hides in memories of loving Peter, and Peter loving him. Meanwhile, an ocean away, Peter

Comments

[ladywilde80]

That was just stunning! I was nearly moved to tears with this one. I loved the depth and emotion behind it all!

*is speechless*

[mystery_sock]

Thanks, and I like this story too. It's very... er... sentimental, but that's not always entirely a bad thing. Less booty than usual. I really wanted to show the tenderness, because there is some, interspersed with the crazy sub-dom porn-reel weirdness... because they're both in bad shape, and it makes me all sad. ^_^

[fabrisse]

They are so right together even when they're bad for each other.

Lovely. And I'm glad this is written unspoiled. It means I can read it as soon as it comes out.

[mystery_sock]

Well, it's a romance, in the wrongest sense of the word. And no, no spoilers for me, I want my brain to stay pure. It's fun to know what's going to happen, in a sense - but I find that surprise-and-delight is much awesomer than satisfaction-and-delight. I want my reveals in context - the writers and editors work hard to put them there, and they kick my ass so much harder when I see them live.

[47_trek_47]

This is beautiful.

[mystery_sock]

Thank you! it's schmoopy. ^_^

[47_trek_47]

We need schmoop right now. Damn, the show is killing me.

[mystery_sock]

For some reason, I believe that the sad and the suffering will be rewarded - then again, I'm a Battlestar Galactica fan, so I might just be sadomasochistic. ^_^

[dragonydreams]

Absolutely beautifully done. I loved the camping scene with Peter simply needing his big brother. Christmas Eve was fun too. It's awful that Peter's disappearance is what it takes for Nathan to realize how much he needs Peter.

[mystery_sock]

It's awful that Peter's disappearance is what it takes for Nathan to realize how much he needs Peter.

Ain't it just, ain't it just! Peter has to DIE, and even worse than that, disappear (having a missing child/family member/friend is much more horrible than having a dead one; I know from experience) for him to understand what Peter was to him. What's worse for me is seeing that Nathan really always has been this hollow shell, and the only thing that means anything to him is Peter. CANON, people - this is canon! I just... y'know, used it. ^_^

God, I love this show!

[dragonydreams]

I keep saying that if I didn't already 'ship Nathan/Peter, I would now. Nathan's state in the season premier would make anyone believe the brothers had a much deeper relationship than just brothers. It made me write the closest that I've ever come to "straight" Nathan/Peter (not in a threesome).

[mystery_sock]

Tell me about it. Kring & the Gang are really laying it on us - and what are we supposed to think? This isn't "chemistry" on screen, this is a person devastated by the loss of someone else, and he feels guilt and self-destruction way more than he would otherwise.

I look forward to seeing how they justify all this AAAAANNNNNGST. ^_^

[even_dusk_fades]

Oh, man! You made me cry with this. Like, actual tears instead of just that sentimental, tugged-heart-strings-this-hurts feeling.
I wanted to write something after "Four Months Later," but I was too stricken by how much pain Nathan was in to go there. You made it beautiful. Not pretty or nice, but beautiful

[mystery_sock]

Awwww! Well... gosh, that's awfully nice of you to say. *blush* yay.

I think I had to write something this schmoopy to make myself feel better - my poor boys! I am way too invested in their happiness - or at least their determination, because I don't care if they're happy, as long as they're kicking ass. ^_^ It's a shame to waste Petrellis on moping - they are too fabulous (and I miss Nathan's snark)!

[even_dusk_fades]

I'm a total sap. I want them to be as happy as they can be while still retaining Nathan's snark and Peter's emo brooding. I just can't stand to see them suffer, you know? I care way more about them than anyone should care about fictional characters.

[mystery_sock]

I just want them together.