fic: Ritual (60): Connection

[mystery_sock]

Here; have a Thanksgiving treat!

Title: Ritual (60): Connection
Pairing, other characters: Peter/"Nathan", Emma
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Dark Romance/Angst
Spoilers: through episode 4.10 "Brother's Keeper"
Word count: around 7300 words
Warnings: see pairing and rating; mild bloodshed
Summary: A lost Nathan turns to the only thing in the world that he

Comments

[mystery_sock]

You're fabulous, you know that? :)

So much of this was so exhaustive emotionally for the characters and by default for 'me', I can only imagine how you must've felt writing.
Yeah, it was hard, but not as hard as writing "Because I Want To", when the wounds were fresh - and I also wasn't quite as grounded with the character of Sylar (and Gabriel) in Nathan. There's a lot more Nathan in this (well, in the second part, anyway, but even in the first part, really; Nathan is more than capable of that kind of brutality and harshness). But more than anything, I know that, at this point, Peter can take it.

And with this if Nate can 'lose it', then why not Peter, too? Why not break with reality too, young man?
Because he really just can't. It's not in his nature. Peter will not ever lose his shit, not in any permanent way. It's just not in his character. Nathan is a lot more fragile, because so much of his life has been based on objects and symbols and what other people think about him; the only real, true thing inside him, at least that he can access and believe in, is his love for Peter.

I loved the scene with Emma.
I HAD to write some Emma. I love her. And I also think the ASL sign for "Don't fuck it up" is hilarious. And their last interaction was them playing piano very romantically, and Peter giving her the tiara - and the next thing we see is Emma alone at home, and Peter alone at home. When what would have made sense was hot, sweaty supply-closet sex! Therefore, Emma cold dissed him, and he went home with blue balls. Next! :)

I teared up when Nathan broke down. I was strong though; no tears shed, thank God.
Oh yeah? Well, you're strong. Poor Nathan. But can you IMAGINE? I mean, yeah, I guess you can... :) But still. How horrible. Losing himself that way. It's unimaginably cruel.

particularly the give and take at the end, I love that. Don't think I've ever read a back and forth that way.
I was SO PSYCHED when I thought of that; I keep on thinking I've really written sex in every possible permutation, but there's always that, y'know? It takes a ridiculous amount of self-control and togetherness, but yeah. :D

even as Peter is 'there' for him, Nathan is still distracted. I could like see his eye twitching or a nervous tremble to his hand or even feel the tension I'm sure he must feel even after being relaxed by Peter.
Well, the next day, they get up, go to his Senate office, and then go to the storage unit. And then they go save Matt's life, and Sylar gets to go back to his own body (but not completely take control!); then Nathan knocks Peter out and drags him back home, stopping off at the liquor store on the way. :) GAH. Poor Nathan. My poor baby. Nobody deserves this.

it wasn't enough as evidenced by his near panic attack at Peter leaving the next morning
A part of him instinctively knows that Peter is his anchor to being Nathan; he is more solidly Nathan when he's with Peter than he is otherwise. Peter leaving - though poor clueless Peter has his own reasons for doing so - was Nathan's doom and Sylar's triumph. But Nathan couldn't say anything, because he didn't understand what was going on, either.

Oh it makes my heart hurt. But I had to write some pornz about it, y'know? ;)