(no subject)
~*~ As I was backing out of my driveway this morning, a text message came in on my phone. I didn't even have to check it - I just knew that it was from Aytch and that he was sending me some freaktastic message about how marvelous the snow is. I glared at my phone, turned up the DJ Koze remix of Atlas, and tried to ignore the fact that thousands of freezing flakes of evil were descending from the sky.
~*~ We went shopping last night at Target, and it was the suck. I wanted to get Candy Land for Little Boss Dude and I found myself pushing past the other Holiday Shoppers in the game aisle with what I'm sure was a less than festive expression on my face. I located the Candy Land boxes and I picked one off the shelf and turned it over to look at the back, so that I could remember with fondness the joy of counting my plastic gingerbread man through the Peppermint Forest and the Gumdrop Mountains.
However, I was less than pleased by what I was confronted with. In fact, not only my husband but also the lady standing next to me were made aware of my displeasure, as I said -in my Out Loud Voice- What the hell is this crap?! Who the hell is that stupid marmot wearing the hat?! What did those bastards do to the most awesome game ever invented?! This is NOT the Candy Land I remember!
I stood there and stared in anger and bewilderment at what had become of the single most beloved game of my childhood. My husband shrugged and wandered off and the lady standing next to me gave me squinty eye and stalked away, clearly offended by my outburst. Well fuck her, this was a serious problem. Then I looked at the other boxes on the shelf and I realized that what I was holding in my hands was the Dora The Explorer edition. WTF, Hasbro? What. The. Fuck.
Hell if I was going to buy that piece of crap marketing disgrace. I searched in vain for the standard edition, but there were none to be found. I turned away, dejected and disillusioned, irate and indignant.
And then, like a rectangular miracle delivered by Gloppy the Molasses Monster himself, it appeared on a shelf on the other side of the aisle: a lone standard edition, clearly abandoned on top of a stack of Monopoly: SpongeBob SqarePants editions. I snatched it up and turned it over to inspect the back. Granted, the design has changed from when I was a kid, but all the elements are still there; the swamp, the forest, the castle at the end, and the little plastic gingerbread men. Good times, good times.
~*~ In other news, it has stopped snowing now but it's still unbelievably cold and I feel like crap. I very much want to go home and curl up under the blankets with a Spazz on my feet and a Monster on my chest, and read until I'm sleepy enough to nap. *sigh*
~*~ Also, why does the office phone always ring as soon as I close the bathroom door to pee?
Blah.
Monkeys.
::EDIT::
As soon as I posted this, it started snowing again. A lot. I had also just texted Aytch about how the awesome sun had triumphed over the evil snow. Ironic how those things work, innit?