What a great tarot deck
I think it was called the Wisdom Well. Its a tarot set based on Jungian archetypes.
I asked the deck to reveal the nature of the next obstacle in my life.
It gave me the inverted hermit, inverted beggar and inverted sufferer.
The hermit and sufferer, both inverted, I interpret to represent my current life lessons.
Inverted hermit indicates leaving my ivory tower and becoming a more socially dynamic person, complete with team ethic and a feeling of self-worth in social situations. This has always been a challenge for me, because I too often hide myself behind a persona and hinder the team's progress by failing to synchronize with their thinking.
Inverted sufferer tells of suffering with a purpose, perhaps on purpose, as a means of honing one's self. Castaneda writes of the Petty Tyrant, a person whose insecurity and fear of their own lack of power causes them to control the actions, thoughts and feelings of others. Castaneda writes of the importance of finding a Petty Tyrant and putting one's self under their influence without resistance. This allows one to cultivate forgiveness and strength. Perhaps I am so fond of this idea that I choose to suffer unnecessarily.
The inverted beggar raised some questions for me. It represents a non-committal attitude, and a selfish arrogance, as though I think I could get something for nothing. This struck me as the heart of my internal struggle, and I asked the tarot deck to clarify.
In clarifying the inverted beggar card, the deck showed me the cards of persona, shadow and the inverted teacher.
In a nutshell, persona represents a multi-faceted personality, shadow speaks of an evil side hidden away from my conscious awareness, and in the inverted teacher indicated confusion and a lack of reconciliation. Obviously to me, there is a powerful shadow force within me that I am unable to reconcile with my other personalities. I cannot become a fully integrated whole without reconciling my inner darkness, a side with makes me shudder. I've buried my evil, selfish and cruel Brian years ago, and I think he's upset that he's not on the stage to much anymore.
I asked the deck to further clarify the nature of my shadow. Specifically, I asked it to reveal the nature of my dark self that I am unable to integrate.
The deck revealed the Demon Queen, inverted power, and the Mandala.
I gots woman troubles. The women in my life are beautiful and compassionate creatures who nurture and support me. However, my shadow side hates and fears women, and the Demon Queen speaks volumes about this. Not only do I project that all women will ultimately reject me because I am worthless, but I also desire to be controlled and dominated by the tyrannical Demon Queen, the all-controlling woman who will ruin my life and steal my soul, but free me of my personal responsibilities. I crave to be hurt by woman, so that I can prove my worthlessness to myself.
Inverted power reveals those feelings of worthlessness, as well as remarking on my hideous ability to sabotage myself. I have always felt that I am my own worst enemy, and while this is true for everyone, I feel strongly that I often sabotage myself, often to please the Demon Queen. This also indicates to me that I require a vast amount of power, physical, spiritual, mental, etc., in order to feel comfortable in my own self. I also sabotage myself by surrendering my power, usually to the Demon Queen, who we've established as the symbol of evil, oppressive and heartless women.
The Mandala ties the reading together perfectly. In fact, I laughed out loud as I read the description. The Mandala indicates the great cosmic order, synchronicity, and my great ability to pay attention. In paying attention to my power struggle with the Demon Queen, I realize that I am the one in control. This archetype also indicates that I am on the path to success. I am paying attention to synchronistic events and piecing their meanings together like a masterful puzzle solver. In Goldschneider's personology system, I am the Puzzling Purist Enigma on the path of Versatility. I have the ability to absorb a very broad perspective, often so broad that it induces complacency, the root of the problem revealed by the inverted beggar card, which was the launching point for all of my inquiries.
So, I'm gonna go buy this crazy tarot set. It answered all of my questions with pinpoint accuracy. The solution to my problem: Pay attention. I have everything I need and I'm doing well. Synchronicity is happening to me, and I see it often. I must cultivate faith in my ability to perceive it, and it will guide me.
My inner darkness has been recently revealed to me in a pay I couldn't have predicted. In spending more time with the high-vibration people that I've found though following synchronistic clues, my inner darkness is beginning to "shine" through.
I see it in my reflection. Whereas before I only saw skin and hair, I now see a looming darkness exuding from my aura. I think it must be standing out to me because of the contrast provided by my healthy and spiritually minded friends.
I am comfortable in the underworld of my mind. I dive into the depths of my worst fears and insecurities for fun. I choose to suffer there to strengthen myself, learn and grow. But this behavior has taken its toll on my soul. I must endeavor to cleanse myself in pure light. The only remaining task is to find a way to feel worthy of pure light.
I'll keep paying attention...
I asked the deck to reveal the nature of the next obstacle in my life.
It gave me the inverted hermit, inverted beggar and inverted sufferer.
The hermit and sufferer, both inverted, I interpret to represent my current life lessons.
Inverted hermit indicates leaving my ivory tower and becoming a more socially dynamic person, complete with team ethic and a feeling of self-worth in social situations. This has always been a challenge for me, because I too often hide myself behind a persona and hinder the team's progress by failing to synchronize with their thinking.
Inverted sufferer tells of suffering with a purpose, perhaps on purpose, as a means of honing one's self. Castaneda writes of the Petty Tyrant, a person whose insecurity and fear of their own lack of power causes them to control the actions, thoughts and feelings of others. Castaneda writes of the importance of finding a Petty Tyrant and putting one's self under their influence without resistance. This allows one to cultivate forgiveness and strength. Perhaps I am so fond of this idea that I choose to suffer unnecessarily.
The inverted beggar raised some questions for me. It represents a non-committal attitude, and a selfish arrogance, as though I think I could get something for nothing. This struck me as the heart of my internal struggle, and I asked the tarot deck to clarify.
In clarifying the inverted beggar card, the deck showed me the cards of persona, shadow and the inverted teacher.
In a nutshell, persona represents a multi-faceted personality, shadow speaks of an evil side hidden away from my conscious awareness, and in the inverted teacher indicated confusion and a lack of reconciliation. Obviously to me, there is a powerful shadow force within me that I am unable to reconcile with my other personalities. I cannot become a fully integrated whole without reconciling my inner darkness, a side with makes me shudder. I've buried my evil, selfish and cruel Brian years ago, and I think he's upset that he's not on the stage to much anymore.
I asked the deck to further clarify the nature of my shadow. Specifically, I asked it to reveal the nature of my dark self that I am unable to integrate.
The deck revealed the Demon Queen, inverted power, and the Mandala.
I gots woman troubles. The women in my life are beautiful and compassionate creatures who nurture and support me. However, my shadow side hates and fears women, and the Demon Queen speaks volumes about this. Not only do I project that all women will ultimately reject me because I am worthless, but I also desire to be controlled and dominated by the tyrannical Demon Queen, the all-controlling woman who will ruin my life and steal my soul, but free me of my personal responsibilities. I crave to be hurt by woman, so that I can prove my worthlessness to myself.
Inverted power reveals those feelings of worthlessness, as well as remarking on my hideous ability to sabotage myself. I have always felt that I am my own worst enemy, and while this is true for everyone, I feel strongly that I often sabotage myself, often to please the Demon Queen. This also indicates to me that I require a vast amount of power, physical, spiritual, mental, etc., in order to feel comfortable in my own self. I also sabotage myself by surrendering my power, usually to the Demon Queen, who we've established as the symbol of evil, oppressive and heartless women.
The Mandala ties the reading together perfectly. In fact, I laughed out loud as I read the description. The Mandala indicates the great cosmic order, synchronicity, and my great ability to pay attention. In paying attention to my power struggle with the Demon Queen, I realize that I am the one in control. This archetype also indicates that I am on the path to success. I am paying attention to synchronistic events and piecing their meanings together like a masterful puzzle solver. In Goldschneider's personology system, I am the Puzzling Purist Enigma on the path of Versatility. I have the ability to absorb a very broad perspective, often so broad that it induces complacency, the root of the problem revealed by the inverted beggar card, which was the launching point for all of my inquiries.
So, I'm gonna go buy this crazy tarot set. It answered all of my questions with pinpoint accuracy. The solution to my problem: Pay attention. I have everything I need and I'm doing well. Synchronicity is happening to me, and I see it often. I must cultivate faith in my ability to perceive it, and it will guide me.
My inner darkness has been recently revealed to me in a pay I couldn't have predicted. In spending more time with the high-vibration people that I've found though following synchronistic clues, my inner darkness is beginning to "shine" through.
I see it in my reflection. Whereas before I only saw skin and hair, I now see a looming darkness exuding from my aura. I think it must be standing out to me because of the contrast provided by my healthy and spiritually minded friends.
I am comfortable in the underworld of my mind. I dive into the depths of my worst fears and insecurities for fun. I choose to suffer there to strengthen myself, learn and grow. But this behavior has taken its toll on my soul. I must endeavor to cleanse myself in pure light. The only remaining task is to find a way to feel worthy of pure light.
I'll keep paying attention...