My life.
My life is utterly ridiculous. I do all this stuff and then I regret doing it and then I think about how I should have left things be the way they were before doing the new thing. I just can't leave well enough alone. So now I'm thinking about all this stuff that I can't do anything about plus another major thing that's due to happen any day now which will turn my life to shit COMPLETELY. And besides that major thing, I have all this minor crap that I didn't have to cause but I still did it anyway so now it's here, adding to it all. Some people say if you're not positive, your life will always be shitty, so be positive. Well, it's not that easy, buddy. It's not that easy at all, especially for some people. Everything was going great for a few days and then i had to do certain stuff and now I'm not sure what the status of it is, so now it's all messed up. And I can't stop thinking about it. And I cannot escape from here. Everyone else has these wonderful lives and do all this stuff with their friends and come home to write a novel about it. I missed out on all that for my own stupid reasons, back when I was that age. So go out and have fun, guys. Live it up. Be happy. Forget about everyone else who doesn't have it as good. Go to your shows and your emo places and your bands like Tin Roof Foil Hat and Mousepads Anonymous with their trendy songs like "Sodacan Poprock" and "Gouging Eyekillers". Go to your malls and stores and places of employment. Have fun and talk the day away eking your lives away. Take stupid pics of your friends with your digital camera phones standing on tables in a dying yeti position in the lobby of the movie theatre on 34th street and then post it in your photo albums for all the world to giggle at. Take detailed notes of your trip in your one pal's tiny Yugoslavian car which has to be out into "H" to drive while the person who doesn't usually drive that type of vehicle acts all adorable and then hilarity ensues. Go and make your t-shirts which say "Sandwich Eater" on front for each of your 182 friends you've known for 26 years. Cut class like a pro while you deftly avoid the law so you can show off to your friends across the country. Write mushy sentiments that everyone can see so people can fall over you across the globe, from Cali all the way to Tokyo. Just forget about me and everyone else. And don't forget to take pics of yourself with your new digital toaster (which includes 6 shades of darkness for pics) in 45 very similar positions, ranging from your finger resting by your cheek in the first photo and then gradually to the top of your head by the last. And don't forget to smile adorably. And do things meant for your opposite gender. That always helps. So go do all that stuff and keep it in your memories forever (or at least until you smoke too much shit again) and hold all your friends close and dear. Because eventually we're all going to end up the same, albeit at different times....dead.