(no subject)
Looking at my monitor really hurts. Amazing how bright this thing is...compared to my dark room, at least.
I should be asleep now. And letting that concept cross my mind about quadruples my odds of still being awake in twenty minutes. Everything is kind of blurry; I can't really tell the suits apart in solitaire anymore. My mind is fuzzy too...can't hold anything together, can't hold anything back. Now there's someone making a great deal of racket outside...there goes the last half-hour of working for sleep by association.
I'm a student again. Hopefully I won't repeat my rather spectacular failure. So far so good.
Much of the problem tonight is that my room is too warm. Or maybe I'm just too warm. I pull my comforter up to my chin and try to get too comfy to move, but then I get hot. Stick and arm out, a leg, and pretty soon I have all four limbs wrapped around the comforter and I'm still too hot. Why doesn't my metabolism grind to a halt? I'm supposed to get cold and sleepy! Why is my body making so much heat?
I tried to think of other options, mostly as a focus exercise to keep my brain from finding something else to think about, but this just upset me. Downstairs is certainly cooler, but I'd have to find someplace to sleep...I'm not putting my comforter on one of those nasty pissed-on couches, and by now I'm sure every square inch of carpet has been pissed on, puked on or shat on, so that's right out as well. The wood would probably work, though, maybe right next to one of the vents in the dining room. I could fold my comforter in half and sleep on and under down, even, it would be great...but then I remembered my shoes. It's entirely possible that some cat could come and piss on my comforter. That was just too depressing a thought.
Here's hoping this time I turn off the monitor I don't get a rush of adrenaline.
I should be asleep now. And letting that concept cross my mind about quadruples my odds of still being awake in twenty minutes. Everything is kind of blurry; I can't really tell the suits apart in solitaire anymore. My mind is fuzzy too...can't hold anything together, can't hold anything back. Now there's someone making a great deal of racket outside...there goes the last half-hour of working for sleep by association.
I'm a student again. Hopefully I won't repeat my rather spectacular failure. So far so good.
Much of the problem tonight is that my room is too warm. Or maybe I'm just too warm. I pull my comforter up to my chin and try to get too comfy to move, but then I get hot. Stick and arm out, a leg, and pretty soon I have all four limbs wrapped around the comforter and I'm still too hot. Why doesn't my metabolism grind to a halt? I'm supposed to get cold and sleepy! Why is my body making so much heat?
I tried to think of other options, mostly as a focus exercise to keep my brain from finding something else to think about, but this just upset me. Downstairs is certainly cooler, but I'd have to find someplace to sleep...I'm not putting my comforter on one of those nasty pissed-on couches, and by now I'm sure every square inch of carpet has been pissed on, puked on or shat on, so that's right out as well. The wood would probably work, though, maybe right next to one of the vents in the dining room. I could fold my comforter in half and sleep on and under down, even, it would be great...but then I remembered my shoes. It's entirely possible that some cat could come and piss on my comforter. That was just too depressing a thought.
Here's hoping this time I turn off the monitor I don't get a rush of adrenaline.