ohhhh yes.
About a year ago, I made a fake myspace account after my friend and I were sitting in a bar. The bar played nothing but Metallica for about 3 hours straight, with me complaining the whole time. I don't give a shit about Metallica, I am opposed to them in theory. My friend told me I should make a myspace account based on this theoretical hatred of Metallica. So I did.
I didn't think anyone would ever see it and if they did, they would realize it was a joke. Since then I have gotten COUNTLESS e-mails, mostly from 16-year-old straight white males telling me how I should go kill myself, Metallica rules, how stupid I am, etc., etc., etc. I present you with:
Subject: hey
Body: HEY>>>GO FUCK YOURSELF>>>>HIPPIE!!!!
jealous FUCK!!!!
keep living where u do!!
- I put I live in Libya. I also said that I was 99 years old, and the city I live in is Fucklars. Hellerr!
FUCK YOU
Body: You suck. Yur poor attmept at trying to make metallica react to you is beyond funny get a life and know Metallica is awesome u fuck head
- riiight.
Subject: Donkey raping shit eater
Body: Really don't you have anything better to do besides talk about metallica on myspace. the way you talk about metallica, its like you want them all up the ass you sick fucker. I should tear your jaw off and stab it in your Eye you cock sucking bitch. Hell why am I wasting my time writing this go fuck your grandm
- this is from a boy whose myspace name is "Anti-Christ." his picture is Misfits-inspired makeup with fake blood running down his mouth. Original.
Subject: HEY
Body: ur a fucking nigger who is a disgrace to the whole world, u should just go shoot ur self and jump off a cliff. Metalica is the greatist band ever and UR A FUCKING FAGGOTY LOW LIFE NIGGER WHO IS A DISGRACEING THE WHOLE WORLD. U WERE JUST ONE OF GODS MISTAKES. FUCKING FAGGOT. UR THE FUCKING PANSY ASS. U LITTLE BITCH. U FUCKING TITY SUCKIN TWO BALL BITCH. GO TO HELL. IF I lived down in alabama which i never woudl cause that is where all the pansy asses like u live, If i lived down there i woudl beat ur ass to a pulp BUDDY. :)
- not only does he hate me, he also seems to hate black people and homosexuals.
Subject: 400
Body: Thats why you have nine fuckin friends you big mouthed, ass backwards cunt. Metallica rocks and if u dont like it why dont you pull your fuckin lip over your big ass head and swallow. Why make a profile about all your bullshit. Sounds like your a career loser to me who would like us metallica fans to fill your sandy vagina with a three liter bottle. Go Fist Yourself. Fuckin Loser, Oh yeah, CAN YOU READ THIS?
- I just don't understand this at all. Especially that last part.
Then a chick posted on my "blog" showcasing some of my "hate mail" with:
why DO you hate metallica so much?
i found you only because i was trying to find metallicas myspace, and was interested in seeing why you hate them so much. is it personal? lol
Seriously. I check into this account maybe once every two months and there are ALWAYS at least 20 of these e-mails. There is no grammar or spell check to speak of. I specifically put that this was a joke. I don't read the messages anymore, but I keep the site up out of spite. Always a good time, pissing these kids off.
I didn't think anyone would ever see it and if they did, they would realize it was a joke. Since then I have gotten COUNTLESS e-mails, mostly from 16-year-old straight white males telling me how I should go kill myself, Metallica rules, how stupid I am, etc., etc., etc. I present you with:
Subject: hey
Body: HEY>>>GO FUCK YOURSELF>>>>HIPPIE!!!!
jealous FUCK!!!!
keep living where u do!!
- I put I live in Libya. I also said that I was 99 years old, and the city I live in is Fucklars. Hellerr!
FUCK YOU
Body: You suck. Yur poor attmept at trying to make metallica react to you is beyond funny get a life and know Metallica is awesome u fuck head
- riiight.
Subject: Donkey raping shit eater
Body: Really don't you have anything better to do besides talk about metallica on myspace. the way you talk about metallica, its like you want them all up the ass you sick fucker. I should tear your jaw off and stab it in your Eye you cock sucking bitch. Hell why am I wasting my time writing this go fuck your grandm
- this is from a boy whose myspace name is "Anti-Christ." his picture is Misfits-inspired makeup with fake blood running down his mouth. Original.
Subject: HEY
Body: ur a fucking nigger who is a disgrace to the whole world, u should just go shoot ur self and jump off a cliff. Metalica is the greatist band ever and UR A FUCKING FAGGOTY LOW LIFE NIGGER WHO IS A DISGRACEING THE WHOLE WORLD. U WERE JUST ONE OF GODS MISTAKES. FUCKING FAGGOT. UR THE FUCKING PANSY ASS. U LITTLE BITCH. U FUCKING TITY SUCKIN TWO BALL BITCH. GO TO HELL. IF I lived down in alabama which i never woudl cause that is where all the pansy asses like u live, If i lived down there i woudl beat ur ass to a pulp BUDDY. :)
- not only does he hate me, he also seems to hate black people and homosexuals.
Subject: 400
Body: Thats why you have nine fuckin friends you big mouthed, ass backwards cunt. Metallica rocks and if u dont like it why dont you pull your fuckin lip over your big ass head and swallow. Why make a profile about all your bullshit. Sounds like your a career loser to me who would like us metallica fans to fill your sandy vagina with a three liter bottle. Go Fist Yourself. Fuckin Loser, Oh yeah, CAN YOU READ THIS?
- I just don't understand this at all. Especially that last part.
Then a chick posted on my "blog" showcasing some of my "hate mail" with:
why DO you hate metallica so much?
i found you only because i was trying to find metallicas myspace, and was interested in seeing why you hate them so much. is it personal? lol
Seriously. I check into this account maybe once every two months and there are ALWAYS at least 20 of these e-mails. There is no grammar or spell check to speak of. I specifically put that this was a joke. I don't read the messages anymore, but I keep the site up out of spite. Always a good time, pissing these kids off.