...T_T...
Ugh.... I just weighed myself after caving and eating a fucking A&W meal... fuck.... 180... I want to kill myself.
School is stressful, and my family is fucking retarded, and my work is being fucking retarded... nothing works. I need a stress release so fucking badly. Something that HURTS. Something that takes control and discipline. Not that anyone in my life right now would understand that.
I want to fucking just... grab a knife and tear my fucking arm apart. I want to stop eating and never start again. I want to look in the mirror and see these sunken eyes with some fucking bone behind them rather than these chubby cheeks.
I have one friend who understands this, but she has her release under control and I just can't do it... so fuck me. You everyone. I just want to be ALONE. To do whatever the fuck I want.
FUCK I can't believe how self loathing I am right now. Haven't felt like this for a long time...
School is stressful, and my family is fucking retarded, and my work is being fucking retarded... nothing works. I need a stress release so fucking badly. Something that HURTS. Something that takes control and discipline. Not that anyone in my life right now would understand that.
I want to fucking just... grab a knife and tear my fucking arm apart. I want to stop eating and never start again. I want to look in the mirror and see these sunken eyes with some fucking bone behind them rather than these chubby cheeks.
I have one friend who understands this, but she has her release under control and I just can't do it... so fuck me. You everyone. I just want to be ALONE. To do whatever the fuck I want.
FUCK I can't believe how self loathing I am right now. Haven't felt like this for a long time...