i'm alive{.barely.}

[mysexualsuicide]

I was doing pretty good today. I only thought about it like, umm, like really only a couple seconds. Didn't cry. Went to work. Came home. Took a nap. Got woken up by my drunk beligerent father telling me that he was sick of my bullshit. That he wanted me to just leave. He wanted me to just go back to California and he didn't give a fuck. Said he was sick of my crying and me being sad. Started crying. He started yelling. Shut the fuck up. Your crying makes me so fucking mad.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what to do.

How do I stop being so sad and numb?