(no subject)
Darrenversary (in which I have every right to miss him and be emotional in any way for as long as I want).
Remember when you found out that Darren Criss was coming to Manila at the beginning of December last year? Remember when you found out he was playing two shows, one in Greenbelt and one in Trinoma? Remember how it almost slipped your mind? Remember how you got to move your Statistics long test to the day before the Trinoma concert with no questions asked by your prof so you could go?
Remember when you only found out the weekend before the concerts that in order to get tickets, you had to follow that bullshit of a receipt system Ayala Malls used? Remember when you called Trinoma up three days before to inquire and found out all the tickets were gone because the mall was open till midnight because of the holidays? Remember when you and Patdes planned out what you decided to do anyway? Remember when you learned from Jessie that there was something about a first 100 cd/poster signing thing and decided to go to the mall once it opened?
Remember when you went to bed at 2am and was too excited so you only slept for six hours but mom wouldn't let you leave the house yet because it was too early even if you were prepared and everything? Remember when the car was close to the mall and you saw the giant billboard then instantly smiled like an idiot? Remember when you ran to the activity center, thinking there were a lot of people lined up when there was really just a small group of less than twenty people? Remember when you thought that the spot near the first aid station, Potato Corner, and Fruit Magic was going to be the spot for you to be standing at since you didn't have tickets?
Remember when you mostly stood then decided to sit down on God knows how dirty that floor was while waiting for the cds/posters to arrive because you waited for hours and hours? Remember when you made small talk with some people who actually went to the show the day before and listened in to their conversations, hoping you could have the very same experience they did? Remember when Patdes finally arrived and after another hour or so you made the cut for the cd/poster signing stubs?
Remember when you missed lunch so you and Patdes went to an Italian restaurant that served unlimited breadsticks and thought of the idea of opening a BreadStix stall at the student-run mall in school? Remember because of that you missed the sound check where Darren played Imagine by the Beatles? Remember at that point Patdes didn't want to give up and decided to go to Sir Mark at the mall's administration to try to get you in? Remember when you thought it wasn't going to happen because they said he had already left the office for the concert downstairs?
Remember when you found out that your spot was actually an entrance into the activity center? Remember when Patdes found Sir Mark with her powers of small talk? Remember when the concierge brought you two to the really front where the VIP people were even if it was a little bit to the right? Remember how much you couldn't believe what was happening to you?
Remember the wave of screams that joined in with yours once you saw Darren Criss a few feet in front of you? Remember that awesome view you had of him (especially his profile)? Remember when you didn't know any of the StarKid songs yet but still enjoyed every bit of it? Remember your crappy pictures and videos where you could hear your screaming and disgusting singing along? Remember when you knew it was over and thought of just waiting for the meet and greet to end so you could go for the cd/poster signing? Remember when your plan was just to ask Darren to be the first to record something on your Flip? Remember when they were calling for meet and greet group seven and no one was responding so the concierge (c/o Sir Mark) handed you and Patdes the laminated group number? Remember that total fangirl moment when you both looked at each other and screamed bloody murder which made everyone stare?
Remember when you walked towards Darren in bunny ears and the first thing he said was "Oh, wow! Bunny ears!" and put them on with no hesitation? Remember when you noticed how white he was? Remember how you sort of grabbed his arm for the picture because... because?! Remember when you asked him for a hug but he said sorry because the staff was trying to mobilize everyone faster? Remember when you asked him if you could have a hug later during the cd signing since you'll be seeing him again and he said "Of course" so enthusiastically? Remember when you wanted to die of kilig?
Remember, by the time you were up for cd signing, you forgot to ask for a hug out of excitement? Remember when you asked him if he could write your name on the cd even when management told him that he wouldn't but he still did? Remember when he said "Thanks for the bunny ears!" and you replied with the grossest and highest-pitched "You're welcome" that's ever come out of your mouth? Remember when you had to look for the picture place and waited for the meet and greet photo to get developed? Remember when you practically missed your varsity team's entire Christmas party because you spent twelve hours in Trinoma? Remember when you started off with nothing but cd/poster signing stubs and ended up with one of the best concert experiences you will ever have in your entire life?
To answer all of that: yes, I still remember everything that happened a year ago today even up to the clothes I wore. It's something I'm not going to forget about because to me it serves as a more solid foundation to how I've gotten myself into this crazy fandom that I've learned to appreciate and adore so dearly. First thing's first: I know I'm a Gleek-StarKid and not the other way around. I'm proud of my Glee roots (Teenage Dream started it all even if I already did know about them bringing in someone to play Kurt's love interest and, also, I did not find him cute when I saw his picture at the time) but discovering Darren through it has opened me up to other things like obviously StarKid, then Freelance Whales, Charlene Kaye, et al. I'm especially happy that his life ruining came at a time I needed it (not a fun topic) but it's actually become more than that.
When I met Darren Criss, I had nothing to say but "hi" or "can I have a hug?" Now that I've given it more thought, I've seen how this person's music and efforts have affected people and how thankful they are when they meet him because of what he's done to and for them, whether it's saved them or inspired them. It made and still makes me think what I had to say didn't mean much at all compared to what they would have to say to him. I know I wouldn't have had anything on that level because I wasn't as immersed in this fandom just yet. Looking back at what happened though (and I have numerous times, not only today), I wish I knew of Darren Criss even before his rise to fame from Glee because I wish I had something more to say to him than "OMG."
In the time it took me to catch up and be able to say that I'm as much a part of the fandom as any other fangirl or stan out there would so shamelessly proclaim, I have come to see what others look at in Darren Criss but of course in my own appreciative way: I wasn't saved by him and I didn't need any kind of reinforcement. Well, not that I thought I did. I was normal, I guess. I saw his talent and his physical features but I also saw a model for someone I wanted to be like and someone I wanted to be with in how he just lives, how he is, his entire Being.
Simply put, for me, he's a positive and guiding light. A true inspiration. If I hopefully have the chance to meet him again and be given more time to talk to him, I would thank him wholeheartedly for the following things: first, for reading my tweet and playing the Coolest Girl during that livestream because I never did and/or I haven't been able to (and because it's one of my anthems and it meant so much to me); and second, for being alive, for being truthful, and for being himself because all of that has somehow changed the way I see and approach things, and the way I want to handle my life the way he has his. Because of him, I want to believe in more things and hopefully do a lot more things I didn't think I could think of doing. It's hard to concretely say where I'm going but the gist is: thank you Crissmas miracle and thank you Darren Criss. ♥
EDIT: I just recalled something I chose to block out of the Crissmas miracle because it was a bit embarrassing on my part. After we had the picture taken and before I asked him for a hug (I think), Darren was handing over his bunny ears to one of the stage guys which out of nowhere made me go "No, those are for you!" Since I tried to block this out, I don't exactly remember what either of them said but I'm sure it had something to do with both of them assuring me that he (the stage guy) was holding it for Darren and it wasn't like they were going to throw it away. Stupid moment for me.
Remember when you found out that Darren Criss was coming to Manila at the beginning of December last year? Remember when you found out he was playing two shows, one in Greenbelt and one in Trinoma? Remember how it almost slipped your mind? Remember how you got to move your Statistics long test to the day before the Trinoma concert with no questions asked by your prof so you could go?
Remember when you only found out the weekend before the concerts that in order to get tickets, you had to follow that bullshit of a receipt system Ayala Malls used? Remember when you called Trinoma up three days before to inquire and found out all the tickets were gone because the mall was open till midnight because of the holidays? Remember when you and Patdes planned out what you decided to do anyway? Remember when you learned from Jessie that there was something about a first 100 cd/poster signing thing and decided to go to the mall once it opened?
Remember when you went to bed at 2am and was too excited so you only slept for six hours but mom wouldn't let you leave the house yet because it was too early even if you were prepared and everything? Remember when the car was close to the mall and you saw the giant billboard then instantly smiled like an idiot? Remember when you ran to the activity center, thinking there were a lot of people lined up when there was really just a small group of less than twenty people? Remember when you thought that the spot near the first aid station, Potato Corner, and Fruit Magic was going to be the spot for you to be standing at since you didn't have tickets?
Remember when you mostly stood then decided to sit down on God knows how dirty that floor was while waiting for the cds/posters to arrive because you waited for hours and hours? Remember when you made small talk with some people who actually went to the show the day before and listened in to their conversations, hoping you could have the very same experience they did? Remember when Patdes finally arrived and after another hour or so you made the cut for the cd/poster signing stubs?
Remember when you missed lunch so you and Patdes went to an Italian restaurant that served unlimited breadsticks and thought of the idea of opening a BreadStix stall at the student-run mall in school? Remember because of that you missed the sound check where Darren played Imagine by the Beatles? Remember at that point Patdes didn't want to give up and decided to go to Sir Mark at the mall's administration to try to get you in? Remember when you thought it wasn't going to happen because they said he had already left the office for the concert downstairs?
Remember when you found out that your spot was actually an entrance into the activity center? Remember when Patdes found Sir Mark with her powers of small talk? Remember when the concierge brought you two to the really front where the VIP people were even if it was a little bit to the right? Remember how much you couldn't believe what was happening to you?
Remember the wave of screams that joined in with yours once you saw Darren Criss a few feet in front of you? Remember that awesome view you had of him (especially his profile)? Remember when you didn't know any of the StarKid songs yet but still enjoyed every bit of it? Remember your crappy pictures and videos where you could hear your screaming and disgusting singing along? Remember when you knew it was over and thought of just waiting for the meet and greet to end so you could go for the cd/poster signing? Remember when your plan was just to ask Darren to be the first to record something on your Flip? Remember when they were calling for meet and greet group seven and no one was responding so the concierge (c/o Sir Mark) handed you and Patdes the laminated group number? Remember that total fangirl moment when you both looked at each other and screamed bloody murder which made everyone stare?
Remember when you walked towards Darren in bunny ears and the first thing he said was "Oh, wow! Bunny ears!" and put them on with no hesitation? Remember when you noticed how white he was? Remember how you sort of grabbed his arm for the picture because... because?! Remember when you asked him for a hug but he said sorry because the staff was trying to mobilize everyone faster? Remember when you asked him if you could have a hug later during the cd signing since you'll be seeing him again and he said "Of course" so enthusiastically? Remember when you wanted to die of kilig?
Remember, by the time you were up for cd signing, you forgot to ask for a hug out of excitement? Remember when you asked him if he could write your name on the cd even when management told him that he wouldn't but he still did? Remember when he said "Thanks for the bunny ears!" and you replied with the grossest and highest-pitched "You're welcome" that's ever come out of your mouth? Remember when you had to look for the picture place and waited for the meet and greet photo to get developed? Remember when you practically missed your varsity team's entire Christmas party because you spent twelve hours in Trinoma? Remember when you started off with nothing but cd/poster signing stubs and ended up with one of the best concert experiences you will ever have in your entire life?
To answer all of that: yes, I still remember everything that happened a year ago today even up to the clothes I wore. It's something I'm not going to forget about because to me it serves as a more solid foundation to how I've gotten myself into this crazy fandom that I've learned to appreciate and adore so dearly. First thing's first: I know I'm a Gleek-StarKid and not the other way around. I'm proud of my Glee roots (Teenage Dream started it all even if I already did know about them bringing in someone to play Kurt's love interest and, also, I did not find him cute when I saw his picture at the time) but discovering Darren through it has opened me up to other things like obviously StarKid, then Freelance Whales, Charlene Kaye, et al. I'm especially happy that his life ruining came at a time I needed it (not a fun topic) but it's actually become more than that.
When I met Darren Criss, I had nothing to say but "hi" or "can I have a hug?" Now that I've given it more thought, I've seen how this person's music and efforts have affected people and how thankful they are when they meet him because of what he's done to and for them, whether it's saved them or inspired them. It made and still makes me think what I had to say didn't mean much at all compared to what they would have to say to him. I know I wouldn't have had anything on that level because I wasn't as immersed in this fandom just yet. Looking back at what happened though (and I have numerous times, not only today), I wish I knew of Darren Criss even before his rise to fame from Glee because I wish I had something more to say to him than "OMG."
In the time it took me to catch up and be able to say that I'm as much a part of the fandom as any other fangirl or stan out there would so shamelessly proclaim, I have come to see what others look at in Darren Criss but of course in my own appreciative way: I wasn't saved by him and I didn't need any kind of reinforcement. Well, not that I thought I did. I was normal, I guess. I saw his talent and his physical features but I also saw a model for someone I wanted to be like and someone I wanted to be with in how he just lives, how he is, his entire Being.
Simply put, for me, he's a positive and guiding light. A true inspiration. If I hopefully have the chance to meet him again and be given more time to talk to him, I would thank him wholeheartedly for the following things: first, for reading my tweet and playing the Coolest Girl during that livestream because I never did and/or I haven't been able to (and because it's one of my anthems and it meant so much to me); and second, for being alive, for being truthful, and for being himself because all of that has somehow changed the way I see and approach things, and the way I want to handle my life the way he has his. Because of him, I want to believe in more things and hopefully do a lot more things I didn't think I could think of doing. It's hard to concretely say where I'm going but the gist is: thank you Crissmas miracle and thank you Darren Criss. ♥
EDIT: I just recalled something I chose to block out of the Crissmas miracle because it was a bit embarrassing on my part. After we had the picture taken and before I asked him for a hug (I think), Darren was handing over his bunny ears to one of the stage guys which out of nowhere made me go "No, those are for you!" Since I tried to block this out, I don't exactly remember what either of them said but I'm sure it had something to do with both of them assuring me that he (the stage guy) was holding it for Darren and it wasn't like they were going to throw it away. Stupid moment for me.