(no subject)
Update on last night's date. I say date, because it seems that for Adrian that's what it was. When saying 'hi' or 'bye' we usually give each other a peck on each cheek. It was been this way for years and I think nothing of it. After all, I do this with Catalina, my friend from high school too; and for me they both mean the same thing. However, last night, we were next to a bunch of taxis parked, as I was planning to use one to get home. After the normal 'See you some other time, talk on the phone', I was expecting the pecks... Nope, that's not what followed. Adrian took my face in his hands and kissed me on the lips, and then he left.
For the second time in my life, I was left not only speechless, but brain dead. I pride myself with being a 'thinker', but on this occasion my mind was blank. I barely remember getting in the taxi and telling the driver where I want to go. Just my luck, he wanted to chat! He had probably seen the previous scene and was probably thinking something like 'Aww! How sweet that was!' He even said something about taking the shortest way possible, because he didn't want to take my money and how I should buy the guy I was with a beer because he seemed a good guy. And then he asked me: "Isn't he?' At that point I wanted to shout at the driver: 'No! He's not! I hate him!' But since I don't like sharing information with strangers, since I didn't want to start a conversation about that, and since I was still unable to think clearly, I just mumbled a 'yes'.
Then I just focused on the road, as if I was driving. That helped calm me down, and made it impossible to think about anything else. Half way home, the driver asked me if I drive, because I pay attention to the traffic, to priorities and we started chatting about that. This also helped a little. I got home, and, amazingly, found my keys in 2 seconds. (I truly hate purses; it takes forever to find anything in them)
All I wanted at that point was to get into bed and pretend this never happened, but I knew I couldn't do that. Firstly, I had to talk to Mum and Dad and act all cheery. No way am I telling them this! Mum has always had a fixation with Adrian, so she started asking questions about what we did. The problem was that I couldn't tell her anything really, because at least half were talks about stuff like bar hopping, marijuana smoking, girls wearing very little during the summer, how the dating pool at Stanford isn't very good, but casual sex exists... Not things I'd tell Mum. But I apparently didn't manage to seem casual enough, because Mum asked me this morning if something bad happened last night.
I'm still not at normal thinking capacity, but the more I regain this function, the less I understand. Almost everything about last night screamed 'not a date'; starting with his clothes: he looked like he was going to the beach not out in the evening. Then, as we were heading to my favorite cafe, some girls came from the opposite direction, wearing sun-dresses. How did Adrian react? Very vocal, telling me that this is what he missed most from Iasi: taking a walk on that street, in the summer, because of all the girls. What?! Does it look like something I'd be interested in?! All the hotties from Iasi?! In Sage, the cafe, we sat at the 'bar', a long tall table type thing, with tall chairs, not what I'd chose for a date...
I suppose the next two things can be interpreted as a bit weird... Sage is self-proclaimed as a literary cafe and it's one of the most relaxing places I've been to. Inside there are always aromatic oils and candles. Since it was still daylight, the candles were not lit. Adrian asked for my lighter and lighted a candle. But we started talking about his job at the Pixar studios from this summer!
Then, I don't remember how, but it seemed to flow naturally, he asked me how old I'm going to turn this autumn. I told him 21 and he had the same 'Wow' kind of reaction as he did with the previous girls. Since he's turning 25 in a few days, I asked if he thought I was 'too young'. He told me that no, I have everything I need and I'm over 18. I randomly wanted to fix my shirt at my back and that's when he said, staring at my breasts 'That's what I was talking about'. Again, WTF?! Was that supposed to be a compliment?! I smiled, trying not to seem embarrassed by his commentary, but shifting my position to block his view.
After that, more natural, geeky conversation followed. We left Sage and wondered around wondering where to go next 'to drink something'. We went to this bar and decided to have a cocktail. Of course I had to have 'Sex on the Beach'! But nothing else there looked nice and this one is sweet, fruity and light (no whip cream). He had a Blue Colada and we had some of each other's glass. I didn't like his, because it had coconut syrup. More absolutely normal conversation, about my best friend and her boyfriend (close friend of Adrian). And then, Adrian took my right hand in his to look at my fingernails. I have recently painted them red, and he was studying the 'technique'. During this he made some commentary about Virgos looking at every detail (he's a Virgo). A bit weird, but I thought nothing of it. I remember him doing something similar in the past too.
It was at this bar that he mentioned that shallow dating pool where he's going to start his PhD, but the presence of casual sex. Also, throughout the evening he mentioned all these things he had done whilst in America, like the bar hoping, staring I don't know which martial art thing, smoking marijuana once, going to a typical 'college movie' party with a hundred people you don't know, with all the bedrooms taken by horny people...
And that's all there was to it... We walked a bit more and then went to the taxies. For the third time, wtf?! I know I've basically been out of the whole dating thing for a while now, but I remember it differently: You don't act like a jerk staring at women's breasts on the street, you don't comment on your date's breasts, you don't mention all the 'macho-dude' things you've done, and you definitely don't make sex jokes whenever you get the chance! You do that with a friend! I must have mentioned this before, I'm used to guys treating me as a friend, as one of the guys that keeps up with them when it comes to drinking, smoking and telling certain types of jokes. I can do that and I have fun (up to a point).
Maybe I'm not clear here what's really bugging me. Simply put it's this inconsistency in his behaviour. If I had felt 'on a date', I would have stopped that, explaining that I'm in a serious relationship. But no, 90% of the evening was in the 'duuuude' area! Another things that is annoying and sad, is that I don't remember Adrian being like this... I used to feel completely comfortable and safe around him, but after last night, he has taken both away from me.
So now, I have to talk to him. I owe him this much after 7 years... Here's the conversation so far (the non-italic parts were actually typed in English, the rest are translations)
Me: Morning!
Adrian: Morning! How's it going?
Me: I'm pretending to work. What happened last night?
Adrian: What happened last night?
Me: You know what I'm talking about!
Adrian: :) Good-bye kiss?
Me: Not the way people usually say bye, at least not to me.
Adrian: I hope you didn't get upset :)
Me: I want to know what it meant!
Adrian: good bye-kiss
Me: Is this the way you say 'bye' to everybody or only to girls?!
Adrian: No, not to everybody.
Me: Should I expect this from now on?!
Adrian: Well, we'll see next time. :)
And he signed out...
Now this is staring to get me really pissed off! Even assuming he's under the misconception that I'm single, is he playing games with me?! How dare he?! This has gone far beyond kissing me without approval! From a certain point of view that can be seen as a romantic crazy gesture, sweeping me off my feet kind of a thing. But this?! 'We'll see next time'?! Does he think I'm just going to sigh after him and wonder when that wonderful moment will be?! Yeah, right! Dream on! I'm sorry, Ashley, but I'm not going to clear this up with him over the phone or on yahoo. I want him to try it again! Next time I'll be ready and waiting... I'm not some dumb-ass bimbo he can just play around with, single or not. I'm not sure yet what I'll do, a slap seems too crude and cave-man like, though tempting... If anybody has suggestions, I'd appreciate them.