post christmas
a very late MERRY CHRISTMAS to all!!! hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas Day! although i spent my Christmas nua-ing at home, sleeping and slacking, but i had a good Christmas Eve. received alot of presents this year, attended alot of celebrations and at the same time spent my entire paycheck. but they were all well spent lol.
its just a couple more days to 2009 (more holidays!) but i am not feeling that good about it. nothing about entering 2009, but its just that there are alot of things that has been bothering me. for one thing, is my SIP portfolio project. apparantly, i entered the company at the wrong time and i have no projects that i am directly involved in. so basically, i have no idea what to write about. and SIP is ending, which means grading is coming (i know its another month's time, but its still near right) and i have simply no idea how my supervisor is going to grade me. especially when i have been doing everyone else's work, except for hers for the past 2 months. no meetings with her, nothing.
i hate to complain about people but yeah, i am not very happy about it. the working environment is good, the welfare is good, but it doesn't feel good when your own direct supervisor doesn't seem to like to talk to you. honestly, have our conversations ever exceed 50 lines for the past 3 months??? whatever.
friday was meant to be a gathering of sorts for my cdc friends whom i have not met for a long long time. was originally happy that we are going for a k session in the afternoon n have a bbq at night. sounds good. was informed on thurs, the bbq was not for the gathering but for someone else's birthday. its alright, at least we know that person. k session was canceled, coz some of those closer friends want to prepare for the bbq. decided that since they are spending time to prepare in the evening, whoever is free shall meet up in the afternoon first before going to the bbq. only me, beng and alvin turned up so we decided to go have fun first and continue with my k session plan.
ended up that we were thought to be helping out in the bbq. someone got angry at us while me and beng were still confused at what was going on and we still had to go meet up and solve the conflict. k session canceled. met the rest. bought the food, prepared the food, bbq-ed, birthday song was sang without the 2 of us while we tried to finish cooking the half-raw fillets on the mesh, in the rain under my pink umbrella. no, they couldn't wait for another 5 minutes. packed e stuff, went to meet the rest and was surprised so many people were there, and i was counting in my mind, how many bothered to come to the pit and say hi. but thought again, we are not the birthday boy nor the organiser, why would people say hi. dropped those thoughts. smiled, took photos, gave pressie and left.
was not happy AT ALL.
honestly, me and beng stayed because we wanted to solve the conflict even if a little and more importantly we still wanted to see those familiar faces. which was good to see, coz everyone seemed lively and happy.
thats all for complaining. beng, lets go on a k session once sarah comes back alright!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
12.47 p.m.
i want to go home. i want to warm myself in my blanket with my sunnybear, checkers and bolsters. and even if i am to stare into nothingness i want to go home and stay where i feel safe for no fears will cloud my mind. i want to turn around whenever i want to and take all the sweet christmas cards and letters and read them. i want to forget about school forget about work forget about annoying people. i dun want to face all that even if i know i can.
i am counting down again. tick tock tick tock just let it be the time for home.