The wheel has turned again
November has come again. There's a bit of a chill in the mornings and at night. Kids came and got free candy from me and now we start thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas and a New Year. Perhaps I'm crazy, but I signed up for NaNoWriMo this year. Let's see if I can at least write *here* every day!
I had an odd dream this morning. I was in a strange city, one I've seen in my dreams before. It has many bridges and also public elevated trains that run along the bridges. It's a lovely city. I don't know where the images for it come from, but I seem to go there a great deal in my mind. I had been asking for a sign and Goddess told me to "follow the woman" or something like that and so when a woman and her daughter asked me to go somewhere with them, I did. I seemed to think it was a date. I also vaguely remember the woman saying she had gotten her daughter to call her "dad". I also think she was pregnant.
I followed her into the city and we went into a large church. I looked vaguely Catholic - there were stained glass windows and it was very grand and Gothic. But inside it was set up more like an amphitheater, with padding on the "steps" that we sat on, all leading down to the altar in the center. I think there was also food being served. For some reason, I wouldn't go get any, even though I was hungry. My parents showed up. My dad tried to fix something I was wearing - it was a bracelet or watch and it was made up of little coins and pins. It didn't work and I got frustrated and said something about not being able to have nice things and put all the pieces in my pocket.
I was angry and frustrated throughout the service (which I remember nothing of). After we got out, I turned on the woman and said I thought we were going to dinner, not church. Then I stalked off towards the bridge out of the city. As I walked, I saw a water tower or industrial tower or something and it was the sign I had been looking for or trying to identify from a dream or vision.
As I thought back over it when I woke up, I realized that in the dream Goddess used my petulance against me! Knowing I would get snippy and pissy and stalk off was part of the plan for giving me an answer!
I've been thinking about this all morning. I have a bad habit of throwing a tantrum when I feel frustrated or I don't know what's going on. Especially if I feel stupid. I can get very petulant when things don't work and I don't want to deal with making them work (the watch/bracelet) and I don't feel like I *can* make them work. I can be every bit as whiny as a toddler and I really hate that about myself. BUT... could it also be a way of learning something if I look at it differently? Hmm.
I had an odd dream this morning. I was in a strange city, one I've seen in my dreams before. It has many bridges and also public elevated trains that run along the bridges. It's a lovely city. I don't know where the images for it come from, but I seem to go there a great deal in my mind. I had been asking for a sign and Goddess told me to "follow the woman" or something like that and so when a woman and her daughter asked me to go somewhere with them, I did. I seemed to think it was a date. I also vaguely remember the woman saying she had gotten her daughter to call her "dad". I also think she was pregnant.
I followed her into the city and we went into a large church. I looked vaguely Catholic - there were stained glass windows and it was very grand and Gothic. But inside it was set up more like an amphitheater, with padding on the "steps" that we sat on, all leading down to the altar in the center. I think there was also food being served. For some reason, I wouldn't go get any, even though I was hungry. My parents showed up. My dad tried to fix something I was wearing - it was a bracelet or watch and it was made up of little coins and pins. It didn't work and I got frustrated and said something about not being able to have nice things and put all the pieces in my pocket.
I was angry and frustrated throughout the service (which I remember nothing of). After we got out, I turned on the woman and said I thought we were going to dinner, not church. Then I stalked off towards the bridge out of the city. As I walked, I saw a water tower or industrial tower or something and it was the sign I had been looking for or trying to identify from a dream or vision.
As I thought back over it when I woke up, I realized that in the dream Goddess used my petulance against me! Knowing I would get snippy and pissy and stalk off was part of the plan for giving me an answer!
I've been thinking about this all morning. I have a bad habit of throwing a tantrum when I feel frustrated or I don't know what's going on. Especially if I feel stupid. I can get very petulant when things don't work and I don't want to deal with making them work (the watch/bracelet) and I don't feel like I *can* make them work. I can be every bit as whiny as a toddler and I really hate that about myself. BUT... could it also be a way of learning something if I look at it differently? Hmm.