(no subject)
Todays been a horrible day. I went to Ithaca. My MP3 Player broke, so I tried to get my father to buy me a new one. It didn't work. I have no blank CDs anymore. I used them all up. I tried looking for a new prom dress. I didn't find one. Obviously. That just adds to my bad mood. My father offered to buy me some new tops if I could find any. I didn't. Figures. I got sick because in the past day I drank a gallon of milk. Shouldn't have. Halfway to Ithaca I studied my math, and one of my notes got sucked out the open window, so now I'm at a loss why Locus' are so. My hair looks like shit. Theres NOTHING I can do for it for prom. I really don't want to go to prom, I'd rather be hit by a semi tractor trailer and have some non-holding green card immigrant have to clean me up off the freeway. My makeup is shitty as fuck. I look like crap. And I'm seriously just getting so pissed off easily. I can't get ahold of any of my friends. I haven't talked to anyone in the past two days. This damn song has been stuck in my head since Friday. Tomorrow I'm playing Tennis, and thats the best thing to do right about now.
I walked into my house, and a bunch of my nannies stuff that no-one wanted is in the house. Tables, Rugs, Candle Holders, the Kissing Globe is outside. What the fuck. It's like a fucking permanet reminder that shes dead. And the past.. 4 months I've been able to make myself think shes in Massachuesetts visiting family, and sadly enough, none of this has hit me. My guidance counsler noticed that. My mother, and father both noticed it.
I'm horribly afraid I wont make it to college.
I have these horrible ideas of whats going to happen if I don't get into college.
If I don't pass I'm going to die.
Everything is taking a pessimistic view as of right now.
I couldn't be anymore low than I already am.
What. The. Fuck.
No-one can ever make me happy.
Everything just gets turned around.
Everythings blamed on me.
Everything happens to me, because I try too hard.
I'm just so sick of that.
I walked into my house, and a bunch of my nannies stuff that no-one wanted is in the house. Tables, Rugs, Candle Holders, the Kissing Globe is outside. What the fuck. It's like a fucking permanet reminder that shes dead. And the past.. 4 months I've been able to make myself think shes in Massachuesetts visiting family, and sadly enough, none of this has hit me. My guidance counsler noticed that. My mother, and father both noticed it.
I'm horribly afraid I wont make it to college.
I have these horrible ideas of whats going to happen if I don't get into college.
If I don't pass I'm going to die.
Everything is taking a pessimistic view as of right now.
I couldn't be anymore low than I already am.
What. The. Fuck.
No-one can ever make me happy.
Everything just gets turned around.
Everythings blamed on me.
Everything happens to me, because I try too hard.
I'm just so sick of that.