I love you, Sugar Kane
I’m a conclusion jumper. I don’t like to wait and weigh things out. I used to be worse. I used to tear the cloth right when I knew what I thought I knew to be the truth. Most people over a certain age understand how subjective a term like “truth” is. It is all a matter of perception, but do you ever feel like you can never entirely be on the same page with anyone or at least in the way you would like to be? I’ll see a picture online and it will make me happy. I’ll see another that will make sad, confused and/or angry. The reality from where I sit is that there are no definite absolutes on any level. You’ll never know how others feel about you or how things really Æffect you. It would be foolish for you to think that you will ever truly know what God’s feelings on anything ever actually are. It is all your own opinion, ideals, biases, diseases and deficiencies that color as well as cloud your already obscured vision. It is that blurred sight that fuels and fans the flames of war and ignorance. If you got off your high horse for a second and preached what your lord is actually about then you would understand that.
I think I’ve been too thick to take a hint in the past and look where that has gotten me. To be heartbroken at this age about something is like having the chicken pox. You thought you would have had a real immunity by now. It is almost laughable that it could, would and will happen. The trick is to know what is worthwhile and what is worthless. It takes time, trial and error to get there. That journey is endless though, but there are moments of extended leaves of absence. You stop off that freeway and check into a Super 8 of piece of mind. That too though will be consumed, disrupted and careened into.
I feel rushed most of the time. I feel like I’m not where I should be and yet it makes perfect sense. Again though, that is everyone I talk to. We’re all of the estimation that we have no idea how we got this far and that it could always be better. I know what I want but how and where can I get it? As an American of the Chuckie Cheese Generation, I want high-speed broadband-30 minutes or less-just add water-instant gratification in every aspect of my life. I don’t want to bust my ass and work for shit. I don’t want to make you love me. I just want you to love me, unconditionally. Regardless if mine has to be earned in return. The crux of that issue though is that I’m willing to give it away like a promotional item. Buy one, get one free! The problem has always been that emotional prices and participation may vary from situation to situation. Any salesman worth his shirt would tell you though that it all breaks down to demographics and knowing who your target market is.
I’m looking for the one, the one prophesized about. The one that will bring equilibrium. I’m content with so many aspects of my life, other than three major things that I’m working on, that I would appreciate someone to be my HQ. That safe spot, that tree you touch so ergo you can’t be tagged any longer. It would just be pleasant to have that wrapped up nicely for once.
I like many also feel that I never truly get what I want or in the fashion that I might want it. You want a burger and fries, but they only have onion rings. You like onion rings but you were really craving fries. You want to buy a certain movie but they only have the sequel and the spin-off in-stock. You want cereal, but you’re out of milk. Sometimes though, you have to say “fuck it” and it eat it dry. The problem I’ve been having is that I’m sick of doing that and getting the roof of my mouth all cut up on the Cap’n Crunch of dejection. I’m sick of being too cheap and lazy to drive or walk to the store. Milk though doesn’t give you mixed signals. It is never like, “Hey, sweetheart, buy me” then you go to get it out of the case and it is all like, “What the fuck? Boundaries, mother fucker!”
For the love of whatever you consider divine, just plant one on me already and let that kiss grow. Let it balloon until it is this polarizing force that envelopes and eclipses all my own insecure self-doubts. Lift me up, around the world in an 80s’ gaze. Fat eye-shadow, strobe lights and absinthian smiles. I’m ready to be intoxicated to the point of blindness emotionally on a daily basis. Enable me, consarn it. Hook the electrodes to my bolts and bring me to life. Just don’t abandon your creation as a being a wretched abomination. Give it what it needs, what it wants.
To clarify… “You” is never just one person but a cache, a cadre, a panoply, a plethora, a cornucopia, a gaggle, a legion, and etc. So if you read this and you get scared/your hopes up/offended then just realize that it could possibly be about you but more realistically it is also about some others as well.
I think I’ve been too thick to take a hint in the past and look where that has gotten me. To be heartbroken at this age about something is like having the chicken pox. You thought you would have had a real immunity by now. It is almost laughable that it could, would and will happen. The trick is to know what is worthwhile and what is worthless. It takes time, trial and error to get there. That journey is endless though, but there are moments of extended leaves of absence. You stop off that freeway and check into a Super 8 of piece of mind. That too though will be consumed, disrupted and careened into.
I feel rushed most of the time. I feel like I’m not where I should be and yet it makes perfect sense. Again though, that is everyone I talk to. We’re all of the estimation that we have no idea how we got this far and that it could always be better. I know what I want but how and where can I get it? As an American of the Chuckie Cheese Generation, I want high-speed broadband-30 minutes or less-just add water-instant gratification in every aspect of my life. I don’t want to bust my ass and work for shit. I don’t want to make you love me. I just want you to love me, unconditionally. Regardless if mine has to be earned in return. The crux of that issue though is that I’m willing to give it away like a promotional item. Buy one, get one free! The problem has always been that emotional prices and participation may vary from situation to situation. Any salesman worth his shirt would tell you though that it all breaks down to demographics and knowing who your target market is.
I’m looking for the one, the one prophesized about. The one that will bring equilibrium. I’m content with so many aspects of my life, other than three major things that I’m working on, that I would appreciate someone to be my HQ. That safe spot, that tree you touch so ergo you can’t be tagged any longer. It would just be pleasant to have that wrapped up nicely for once.
I like many also feel that I never truly get what I want or in the fashion that I might want it. You want a burger and fries, but they only have onion rings. You like onion rings but you were really craving fries. You want to buy a certain movie but they only have the sequel and the spin-off in-stock. You want cereal, but you’re out of milk. Sometimes though, you have to say “fuck it” and it eat it dry. The problem I’ve been having is that I’m sick of doing that and getting the roof of my mouth all cut up on the Cap’n Crunch of dejection. I’m sick of being too cheap and lazy to drive or walk to the store. Milk though doesn’t give you mixed signals. It is never like, “Hey, sweetheart, buy me” then you go to get it out of the case and it is all like, “What the fuck? Boundaries, mother fucker!”
For the love of whatever you consider divine, just plant one on me already and let that kiss grow. Let it balloon until it is this polarizing force that envelopes and eclipses all my own insecure self-doubts. Lift me up, around the world in an 80s’ gaze. Fat eye-shadow, strobe lights and absinthian smiles. I’m ready to be intoxicated to the point of blindness emotionally on a daily basis. Enable me, consarn it. Hook the electrodes to my bolts and bring me to life. Just don’t abandon your creation as a being a wretched abomination. Give it what it needs, what it wants.
To clarify… “You” is never just one person but a cache, a cadre, a panoply, a plethora, a cornucopia, a gaggle, a legion, and etc. So if you read this and you get scared/your hopes up/offended then just realize that it could possibly be about you but more realistically it is also about some others as well.