Stop Breathing
Dear DIE-ary,
Why won't you just leave me alone? Can't you see me crying through the fake smiles that are broken from all the torn up messages you left me burning through my eyes? The horrible beast has come out the play. Play with my emotions and mingle with my thoughts. Leave me alone. I scream at you but it's all mute. Stop snickering at me as I sit in a darkened room where all my fears come to welcome me to my nightmares. Can't see anything but my trembling fingers. Closing my eyes tightly, to not see anything. Don't want to peak. Keep the curiousity within. So scared of being abused. Frightened just by the word. My hands are shaking uncontrolably as my feet sink beneath the ground. Can't move nor run. Yelling for help, but all I hear for responses are children's giggles. Lost in a forest of echoes. Hearing my thoughts bounce from one side of the tree to the other. Scratching the tree with my bare nails... as they break and my fingers bleed. Need the whisperings to stop. Need everything to stop. Just all stop... Pause. Close the book from which you bleed from. The witches have come to dance around me... and sing little songs as they twirl and laugh as my energy is drained to the last drop. The blood won't stop until suicide is satisfied. Slashed up, broken hearted cunt. Mutilation took control. Irony runs in my family. You are one twisted fuck. Just want to stop breathing... and stop all this. Stop breathing. Shut your eyes and think about your life. Are you satisfied enough? With my eyes wide open, I feel like I am blind. I can't make out anything that can possibly come out of your fucking mouth. Need to get lost in another reality. Don't like my view from this place I stand. Someone get me the fuck out of here! Fuck, ahhh... this havoc I live in is what I created. I sought for euphoria and joy everywhere, but all I find is distortion. I beseech you to give me one last breath... with riots in my mind. That was the last time I touched you, as you died in my arms, I was filled with consternation. I was gratified as the blood dropped on to my tongue. It was amazingly delectable. Look in the mirror, you haughty little whore. So haughty you are... So vain. You disgust me. Your impetuous actions are killing me slowly as if I was burning like an incense. You lavish me with torment and sorrow. I forgot when the last time I was filled with rapture was... Can't remember how it felt... I feel too miserable. Your kissies tastes so acrid and betrayful. This is one impedement that I will fail at... without a doubt. Won't the devil come out to play? Feels no sympathy for me. No one does. Don't want any. My heart smolders and screams in pain. Distraught is all I can say. You're grievous and ruthless, won't you ever stop? I hoard my medication until I reach enough to over-dose and die, you lethal bitch. Mutilating me in my dreams. Constantly putting me in a plight. I'm at the verge of insanity. My heart has ruptured without me realizing it... Just stop breathing... Over and out.