Music Meme Day 2: UUUGH I HAD TO LISTEN WHILE I GOT THE EMBED CODE

[myrafur]

Day 02 - Your least favorite song

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"Girl you stank, take a bath."

NEED I SAY MORE?!! AAHHHH LKJSDFSDFS DO NOT EVER, EVER WANT

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[yira_heerai]

So, I texted you about how the doctor appointment went, but just in case you didn't get it or haven't checked your phone, it went smoothly with no puncturing of the ear drum! Aggressive treatment of peroxide, sweet oil, and earlier attempts to get the damn piece out apparently helped out. My ear was sore all day but there's no infection! It's just.. from wax rubbing against the ear drum probably -_-;;;

Do you ever think it'd just be easier to be totally deaf, sometimes?

Sometimes, I do think that. When my ears are being particularly sensitive and the TV always seems too loud. Or when I'm dealing with people in general because, for some reason, when they hear about a hearing "impairment" everyone seems to think "Oh, since you have some of your hearing left you MUST be able to understand what I'm saying." Or if they have hearing loss, mine must be like theirs. "Oh yeah, I have the same problem."

Thing is, when the whole thing first started, I sort of got to experience what it'd be like and it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. Mom had to yell whatever she had to say right in my ear- her lips were right on my ear. I think I could feel them move against it. There's times when things seem to silent that I'll click my tongue just to hear something or hum or just talk to myself like.. "Testing, testing. Okay it's working. Good."

And music. Music's one of the things I automatically go to when I have my anxiety attacks. It soothes me and I almost always have a song stuck my head. Thinking of never being able to hear those songs again and what the hell would I use to replace music as a calming factor?

The more I think about it, I get more confident that I wouldn't be able to take it. Or rather, I could eventually but it'd take months to get used to it and I'd be a tragic mess until I started to cope with it.

Preservation of what I have always wins out in the end.