"uninvolved." by myradi
Title: uninvolved
Fandom: final fantasy xii
Pairings: Balthier/Vaan, one-sided Basch/Vaan, implied Balthier/Fran
Genre: angst(?)
Rating: pg-13
Warnings: mentions of m/m sex, aaangst
Synopsis: Basch is tired of remaining uninvolved as Vaan's purity is taken from him. The musings of a bitter man who has to watch a child age faster than he should.
Author's note: this has been eating away at my head for the longest time now. while i'm not much for Basch/Vaan (or Balthier/Fran), it was still a cute thought to me. and I feel bad for portraying Balthier as a villain, especially since i enjoy Balthier/Vaan and all... but that's how it ended up, and i think it works this way. :D
Uninvolved.
By myradi.neuf
Envious. Vaan was so envious. Anyone could see it, and it broke my heart to watch it. His eyes would flit from one to the other. Balthier and Fran. He’d watch them so carefully, a bitter look passing over his face before a sick sort of detachment. I could easily understand that look, for it was no stranger to me. That cold-hot sensation that coils in your belly, feeling so heavy yet light enough that you may just float from your seat. And then comes the icy numb that takes control of your limbs… makes you feel like they’ll soon turn to giant blocks of ice if you don’t keep them moving.
There is a strong feeling of wanting to just not care anymore. Such a hatred for the one you love that makes you wish you could find something else. Someone else? Something to make you feel wanted and needed.
It hurts to watch, Vaan. You’re too young to feel this way. You are brighter than the very treasures you covet, and yet you ruin yourself by letting his eyes pass over you the way they do. A layer of grime settles over your glimmer with every passing touch, accidental my ass.
And yet it happens, and you love it, and he likes it, and I hate it. I watch it and you feel it and he does it.
But when it’s over, it’s over. He saunters back into the bar and resumes his conversation, leaving you to dress and stumble out awkwardly by yourself. He flirts with countless women before your very eyes, sparing a laugh as you realize you’ve put your trousers on backwards. You blush, he winks, and then it’s over.
You’re brighter than the very treasures you risk your life for, and yet you allow him to darken your beautiful face with an age far past your own.
He’s attracted, you’re dying, and I’m letting it happen.
After a few drinks, it’s time for bed. He casts a long glance in Fran’s direction. She ignores him. He sighs. From the corner of his eye, he watches you. You sink in your seat, looking to me briefly. I raise my eyebrows. I should say something.
Damn it, Basch, say something.
This is your chance to change everything.
Say something.
You can save this boy.
Say something.
You can take him to your room and show him true affection.
Say something.
Covet him, treasure him, and make him yours.
Say something!
God damn it, Basch! Say anything!
I say nothing. You bite your lip… you stand… you go to him. He smiles, hand on your lower back. He leads you to his room. The door closes… my chance is gone. You’re gone. I can already see you aging two more years. You’re seventeen, but you’re thirty-seven.
For once, I regret remaining uninvolved.
End notes: I sort of feel bad ending it this way, but whatever. XD; Con-crit is loved, since I'm not sure how I like this... we'll see how I like it in the morning, perhaps? - myradi.
Disclaimer: Vaan, Balthier, etc., are all propery of Square because they suck. :) Uh... I mean...