(no subject)
Long story short
. I moved to New York. Basically in hopes that doing so would lift my spirits, and maybe I'd be happier in life. Fat fucking chance, eh. Still in love with someone from years ago, which if a few people read this, they'll fly up here and smack me for being so stupid. I still think about her a ton, but unfortunately that means nothing.
Ive tried dating a few people since I've been up here. First one scared me after two weeks, when she told me she wanted to have my kids. Next one we dated for like two weeks, till she had some crazy bipolar flip. Most recent one pulled the I want to have kids thing after a week. WHAT THE HELL. Why can I not have a relationship last longer than two weeks? Maybe because I'm emotionally not ready to move on from a past relationship? That's my honest guess.
Sometimes I regret ever being with her, because now that she's gone, Im still grasping at straws and memories. Maybe it'd be easier if I didn't have those to rely on.
I miss her more than I can say, and I guess I'm just all around fucked up in the head.
In other news, I hate work. I work 7 to 4 five days a week unloading trucks. Someone pay me just to be awesome, please?