why

[myprettybaby]

why do things gotta be late? who invented this concept? why you gotta send me things like that when i'm supposed to be happy? why does it still affect me? the things you say...it shouldn't mean that much to me anymore....i know i don't love you. and i know i don't want to get back together with you. so why am i still bitter? why, when anyone's being sweet or when something sweet happens to me all i wanna do is be a bitter old hag and tell them to stop being so sweet because it's all bullshit? why is it..that when i see couples i think about the day that they'd break up and i wonder how long they'd actually last? why is it i am so shocked when i hear about weddings and people getting married? why is it i catch myself thinking "wow...people still get married? i wonder if its for money?" and when i see two happily newlyweds or engaged people...i just get this bitter bitter feeling inside and sometimes catch myself wondering what would happen if they broke up, or if the bride walked out on the groom like it often happens in movies.but then i catch myself...thinking these awful thoughts...and then i wonder...what the hell happened to me? and then i realize...that marriage...relationships...love...romance...they're nothing but a over rated fantasy. when in a relationship....you dream about it all the time...you have your head up in the clouds and for what?..just for it to be severed from your neck and come crashing down to the floor and splattering blood and brains all over. and what happens? people ask you if you're okay. you are pitied and worried about, and they tell you to get back on your feet and stand up and be strong because life is a battle and there are plenty of fish in the ocean. but while your brains are all over the sidewalk and your body is standing in the pool of muck spilled out from your severed head, all you can think about is "how could this happen to me?what happend to us?why does it hurt so much?" you cant help but feeling that aside from the person who beheaded you and perhaps, tore your heart from your chest and stuffed it in your mouth, that only this person could save you. you cant help but think that only this person can put your heart back in place and your brains and blood back in your head. but no, you cant do that....because that's the person who put you in that situation in the first place right? so you cant go back to him/her. but how the hell are you supposed to move on? so, being a selfish human being, you find the closest replacement and get some poor body to stuff your brains back in and sew your head back on, to remove your heart from your mouth and to cram it back in your chest...only to ditch that person right when you've healed. and thus...the cycle continues.

samoo's ramblings...hahahaha i'm not even sure what i just said.

-samoo-in-a-bad-mood-