Hmm.
Alrighty, I need to make an agenda for today:
Cut a couple of hours devoted to catching up with well needed sleep to respond to a few emails. (I apologize to all of those who have sent me emails and they have just sat there for the past few days. :/ Koyote insists I either rock him, hold him, cruise with him, [insert action] him when I *FINALLY* have free time. So today, I shall hit you all back with the much appreciated responses!)
Clean up more dishes. I find if I do a rack full at a time, it helps.. I think Kurt and I are going to put some of the dishes up, because it is ridiculous how we go through dishes so fast...
Condition and try to comb out my hair. For now I am just going to straighten my hair I think... Maybe danny*ll come around, maybe not. I can always hopefully run into a sista *puts an angry fist up* that*ll want to help me out. *giggles* ;)
Put water in the filter, asldfjasldkfj I am so dehydrated, and I don*t understand why I haven*t put any dang water in the thing. ARGH! I think I just get so tired of people drinking my water, *lol MY WATER DAMNIT* and then not filling the jug back up... *blinks and gazes at a certain hubby* ;) jk leo pie. I can do it, it*s not that hard.
Try doing something with the lines of poetry that popped into my head a few days ago...
Meditate and send positive energy to members of our family that are struggling too, like the rest of the world.. So basically embrace the whole world in a Zen-hug, even that dumb-ass President Bush; maybe it*ll make a slight difference.. :P Like hopefully fix that Devilish facial motiff he*s got going on... Wait nevermind, he IS SATAN, and you can*t really alter Satan now can ya? :P I swear he looks like Satan, it*s really disturbing, his beady black eyes... His pointy nose and grin that points downwards... His pointy ears... bleh *shudders*
Call Izzy about his friend Michael spinning...
Make a list of people coming to our home.. Contacting them and hopefully convincing them to chip in to the pile and bring some food for the 14th... :/ Do I sound assy or anything? I*m just coming from the *collective* view that, the more the merrier! If everyone pitches in a dish, make it, buy it, hell--It*s not that bad to even *TRY* to make something, and no one should feel bad if they mess up and HAVE to go and buy something.. Its the thought that counts, yo!--Just help the pile of food be so grand, that EVERYONE gets to have a share. I remember at our first house party, Treza made some bomb-ass dip and I had like 2 crackers total. *sniffles* And then at our second party.. It*s like I don*t mind people going into our fridge--Wait let me restate that :p I have NO problem what so ever if you*re a friend of ours, you*re hungry, and you go into the fridge for something... Eat everything up, I don*t care, we can always get more.. But when you are in some intoxicated fury, and disrespect my house, and dump *GRRWRJWLERJWER* mommy*s WIC carrots all over the vegetables drawer.. :( That kind of makes me sad. I know I just need to say something, but I don*t know why, but a friend of ours refuses to take his shoes off unless we put him in a head-lock of guilt it seems like... K, I got way off the subject. :) Note: Cina, contact people about party.
Eat. :/ These antibiotics make me forget sometimes.. And drinking water too...
And then... Email Mimi (www.evilcuppycake.com) about some personalized buttons for friends of mine.. :) I think they*d appreciate it, and it*d be really cool because I appreciate her spin on beauty. I think I need to get a *Fuck you and your fascist beauty standards* button for myself. ;) Oh and that little emily girl scout skirt. baaah
So on another note.. I realized that its been since the eigth grade... No... Seventh grade... That I have had my eyebrows au naturel. It kinda feels good. But then again I kind of feel furry. *evil furry forehead death stare at a certain hubby* ;) I can*t take being anymore furry than I have to leo! :p But yeah, they actually weren*t that bad looking.. I think I want more of a definite wax done on them.. So they look apparent :P Kind of like Aaliyah*s or Halle Berry*s... *trails off*
*sighs* I am angry again. Not at Pup... But my parents... I feel like calling on the phone, screaming at them, and demanding them tell me what the hell did they do to me. What*s funny is THEY probably have no frickin idea, and I know that I really don*t, but slowly and surely I *think* I*m figuring stuff out... No doubt, with the help of my family connected through live journal... *have I ever said I love my hippie family, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much? :) I LOVE YOU GUYS!!*
I found myself getting so frustrated today with Koyote, and I felt bad. He wanted to go for a walk, so I was trying to adjust the stroller, he wouldn*t let me put him down, or hold him while fixing it, or sit in it while I fixed it, or *bah* lay next to daddy while mom tried to fix it... And then I feel like calling up Evenflow and telling them how SO SAFE THE DAMN STRAPS ARE ON THE STROLLER THAT YOU CAN*T EVEN ADJUST THEM TO PUT YOUR CHILD IN THE DARN THING. *deeeeeeeep breeeeaaattttthhh* You see, I don*t understand why I*m getting frustrated so much. :/ I am the most chillest person on earth--Maybe it*s because I have cabin fever, maybe it*s because I*m still trying to de-polarize the negative energy that fills our home... Yet I believe it has something to do with my parents... Like I*m not talking to them right now, but I can feel them worried for me and missing me, but then sending the most hateful vibes to us because "we're not doing what they want us to do". (i.e. us move over there, and leo stay here. :/) I can feel them trying to make me feel guilty like I*m killing them or something, when I*m just trying to be happy. Sometimes I wonder if my dad tries to make me unhappy because he*s unhappy. My dad and Jasmin*s dad sound exactly alike, and that*s why I finally checked into reality, and remembered that Jasmin and I have very similar backgrounds; and her parents drove her into the ground, and still are; though she*s a Junior going for her dreams in medicine, by becoming a doctor. And she*s doinga damn good job, dealing with whatever spin her parents put on her, dealing with stupid sorority bullshit, and then her personal life, her life with mark, AND THEN school. Gah girl, *snap snap* work it. Anyways back to what I was saying... I think my parents have created some huge mental and physical issues with me, and I am slowly picking each layer of skin of, revealing more damage that I*m healing at the same time... And it*s not really helping with the vibes i*m getting from them... That almost makes me not want to let them see Koyote ever again, because that is affecting HIM and Leo--And they know that! Grr. Okay next subject :/
I just don*t understand why I got so frustrated, he doesn*t even know HIMSELF, what*s going on with him, and neither do I... Or Leo at times... Or anyone for that matter... And I*m wondering if my parents did the same to me :/ Which would explain why Noi likes to beat the fuck out of her kids when they piss her off. "Taylor, I*m going to put you through that TV if you touch my TV again." I have never spanked my nieces or nephews [okay i punched Darnell once when we were younger, but he pissed me off when he bit my hand, and i just reflexed FINALLY after all of the stuff he*s done to me :P] and I don*t believe in spanking, especially in the reasonings my family did.. *Because they were pissing me off* :/ I don*t know.. I almost feel like one day I need to have a talk with my mom and find out some stuff in my past... But yeah.. k I*m done babbling for now. =] ta ta
Cut a couple of hours devoted to catching up with well needed sleep to respond to a few emails. (I apologize to all of those who have sent me emails and they have just sat there for the past few days. :/ Koyote insists I either rock him, hold him, cruise with him, [insert action] him when I *FINALLY* have free time. So today, I shall hit you all back with the much appreciated responses!)
Clean up more dishes. I find if I do a rack full at a time, it helps.. I think Kurt and I are going to put some of the dishes up, because it is ridiculous how we go through dishes so fast...
Condition and try to comb out my hair. For now I am just going to straighten my hair I think... Maybe danny*ll come around, maybe not. I can always hopefully run into a sista *puts an angry fist up* that*ll want to help me out. *giggles* ;)
Put water in the filter, asldfjasldkfj I am so dehydrated, and I don*t understand why I haven*t put any dang water in the thing. ARGH! I think I just get so tired of people drinking my water, *lol MY WATER DAMNIT* and then not filling the jug back up... *blinks and gazes at a certain hubby* ;) jk leo pie. I can do it, it*s not that hard.
Try doing something with the lines of poetry that popped into my head a few days ago...
Meditate and send positive energy to members of our family that are struggling too, like the rest of the world.. So basically embrace the whole world in a Zen-hug, even that dumb-ass President Bush; maybe it*ll make a slight difference.. :P Like hopefully fix that Devilish facial motiff he*s got going on... Wait nevermind, he IS SATAN, and you can*t really alter Satan now can ya? :P I swear he looks like Satan, it*s really disturbing, his beady black eyes... His pointy nose and grin that points downwards... His pointy ears... bleh *shudders*
Call Izzy about his friend Michael spinning...
Make a list of people coming to our home.. Contacting them and hopefully convincing them to chip in to the pile and bring some food for the 14th... :/ Do I sound assy or anything? I*m just coming from the *collective* view that, the more the merrier! If everyone pitches in a dish, make it, buy it, hell--It*s not that bad to even *TRY* to make something, and no one should feel bad if they mess up and HAVE to go and buy something.. Its the thought that counts, yo!--Just help the pile of food be so grand, that EVERYONE gets to have a share. I remember at our first house party, Treza made some bomb-ass dip and I had like 2 crackers total. *sniffles* And then at our second party.. It*s like I don*t mind people going into our fridge--Wait let me restate that :p I have NO problem what so ever if you*re a friend of ours, you*re hungry, and you go into the fridge for something... Eat everything up, I don*t care, we can always get more.. But when you are in some intoxicated fury, and disrespect my house, and dump *GRRWRJWLERJWER* mommy*s WIC carrots all over the vegetables drawer.. :( That kind of makes me sad. I know I just need to say something, but I don*t know why, but a friend of ours refuses to take his shoes off unless we put him in a head-lock of guilt it seems like... K, I got way off the subject. :) Note: Cina, contact people about party.
Eat. :/ These antibiotics make me forget sometimes.. And drinking water too...
And then... Email Mimi (www.evilcuppycake.com) about some personalized buttons for friends of mine.. :) I think they*d appreciate it, and it*d be really cool because I appreciate her spin on beauty. I think I need to get a *Fuck you and your fascist beauty standards* button for myself. ;) Oh and that little emily girl scout skirt. baaah
So on another note.. I realized that its been since the eigth grade... No... Seventh grade... That I have had my eyebrows au naturel. It kinda feels good. But then again I kind of feel furry. *evil furry forehead death stare at a certain hubby* ;) I can*t take being anymore furry than I have to leo! :p But yeah, they actually weren*t that bad looking.. I think I want more of a definite wax done on them.. So they look apparent :P Kind of like Aaliyah*s or Halle Berry*s... *trails off*
*sighs* I am angry again. Not at Pup... But my parents... I feel like calling on the phone, screaming at them, and demanding them tell me what the hell did they do to me. What*s funny is THEY probably have no frickin idea, and I know that I really don*t, but slowly and surely I *think* I*m figuring stuff out... No doubt, with the help of my family connected through live journal... *have I ever said I love my hippie family, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much? :) I LOVE YOU GUYS!!*
I found myself getting so frustrated today with Koyote, and I felt bad. He wanted to go for a walk, so I was trying to adjust the stroller, he wouldn*t let me put him down, or hold him while fixing it, or sit in it while I fixed it, or *bah* lay next to daddy while mom tried to fix it... And then I feel like calling up Evenflow and telling them how SO SAFE THE DAMN STRAPS ARE ON THE STROLLER THAT YOU CAN*T EVEN ADJUST THEM TO PUT YOUR CHILD IN THE DARN THING. *deeeeeeeep breeeeaaattttthhh* You see, I don*t understand why I*m getting frustrated so much. :/ I am the most chillest person on earth--Maybe it*s because I have cabin fever, maybe it*s because I*m still trying to de-polarize the negative energy that fills our home... Yet I believe it has something to do with my parents... Like I*m not talking to them right now, but I can feel them worried for me and missing me, but then sending the most hateful vibes to us because "we're not doing what they want us to do". (i.e. us move over there, and leo stay here. :/) I can feel them trying to make me feel guilty like I*m killing them or something, when I*m just trying to be happy. Sometimes I wonder if my dad tries to make me unhappy because he*s unhappy. My dad and Jasmin*s dad sound exactly alike, and that*s why I finally checked into reality, and remembered that Jasmin and I have very similar backgrounds; and her parents drove her into the ground, and still are; though she*s a Junior going for her dreams in medicine, by becoming a doctor. And she*s doinga damn good job, dealing with whatever spin her parents put on her, dealing with stupid sorority bullshit, and then her personal life, her life with mark, AND THEN school. Gah girl, *snap snap* work it. Anyways back to what I was saying... I think my parents have created some huge mental and physical issues with me, and I am slowly picking each layer of skin of, revealing more damage that I*m healing at the same time... And it*s not really helping with the vibes i*m getting from them... That almost makes me not want to let them see Koyote ever again, because that is affecting HIM and Leo--And they know that! Grr. Okay next subject :/
I just don*t understand why I got so frustrated, he doesn*t even know HIMSELF, what*s going on with him, and neither do I... Or Leo at times... Or anyone for that matter... And I*m wondering if my parents did the same to me :/ Which would explain why Noi likes to beat the fuck out of her kids when they piss her off. "Taylor, I*m going to put you through that TV if you touch my TV again." I have never spanked my nieces or nephews [okay i punched Darnell once when we were younger, but he pissed me off when he bit my hand, and i just reflexed FINALLY after all of the stuff he*s done to me :P] and I don*t believe in spanking, especially in the reasonings my family did.. *Because they were pissing me off* :/ I don*t know.. I almost feel like one day I need to have a talk with my mom and find out some stuff in my past... But yeah.. k I*m done babbling for now. =] ta ta