everything will change
I used to fantasize about breaking up with Brian.
And we would have an elaborate, romantic getting-back-together afterward. And I would imagine that he had all these reasons why he loved me. All of these hidden favorite things about me. And we would really kiss, then. Not the ugly forced kind; real passionate loving kisses. We would cry and promise to never let the other end it, again.
The first time I saw Brian after we really did break up, we skipped first period and sat on that new platform in Children's Park where they had the Concert In The Park, that all of the druggies drew stupid gross pictures on, and I cried so hard in front of him that I actually felt embarassed. And we had one of those real loving kisses. And then I walked him back to school.
Walking back downtown, I felt content. It was, I think, the last time I really felt that.
I guess now I'm realizing it was because it all felt like a fantasy, and somewhere in my head I just thought that it would be over as soon as I stopped thinking about it.
And we would have an elaborate, romantic getting-back-together afterward. And I would imagine that he had all these reasons why he loved me. All of these hidden favorite things about me. And we would really kiss, then. Not the ugly forced kind; real passionate loving kisses. We would cry and promise to never let the other end it, again.
The first time I saw Brian after we really did break up, we skipped first period and sat on that new platform in Children's Park where they had the Concert In The Park, that all of the druggies drew stupid gross pictures on, and I cried so hard in front of him that I actually felt embarassed. And we had one of those real loving kisses. And then I walked him back to school.
Walking back downtown, I felt content. It was, I think, the last time I really felt that.
I guess now I'm realizing it was because it all felt like a fantasy, and somewhere in my head I just thought that it would be over as soon as I stopped thinking about it.